It’s hard not to spoil beautiful babies by giving them everything they want and picking them up at every turn. I’m guilty of spoiling my nieces and nephews with candy, toys and whatever their heart desires to the chagrin of my grandmother (and sometimes, their parents). Many purveyors of the old school way of parenting see spoiling as a detriment to the child and strongly advise against it. Such is the case with Tina Knowles, grandmother to Solange’s son, Jules and Beyoncé’s daughter, Blue Ivy.

Knowles spoke with Access Hollywood, while previewing her Fall 2012 collections from Miss Tina and House of Dereon, about the way Beyoncé rears Blue Ivy.

When asked whether Beyoncé is spoiling Blue, Tina Knowles responded, “Of course she is! We all are” but the singer is “spoiling her more than anyone else in the family.”

The grandmother then recounted a time where she placed a phone out of Blue’s reach and encouraged her to crawl to get it. She told Beyoncé to let Blue crawl but the scenario didn’t quite work out as planned.

“[Blue] starts looking at her mom, and then her mom hands it to her,” Tina said. She then told Beyoncé, “You’ve got to man up and get a little tougher.”

The scene reminded me of the many times the elders in my family shake their heads at the way the women in my generation sometimes cater to young children. While it’s important to teach them independence, it’s also hard not to spoil them at that age.

What is your parenting style, Clutchettes? Do you spoil the young children in your family, or are you tough with them?

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  • This is ridiculous. There is no such thing as spoiling a baby. It is important to react to a baby’s need to be held because it establishes trust. The baby learns that when they need you, they can count on you to be there and that translates well as they get older. This idea of separation from babies and letting them tough it out has everything to do with the shift in the way we live. Now that we don’t do intergenerational living we espouse the idea that children have to get tough love and be independent from the get go. There was a time when all children were catered to because there were more hands available. I say pick up the baby, hand them the things that they want. The desire to move won’t be effected and this isn’t going to stop baby Blue from being active and learning to walk or crawl. Finally if the baby isn’t being abused, people need to mind their own business. Bey Bey is that child’s mother and knows her better than anyone else and what her needs and desires are.

    • Doesn’t sound like you have children.

      No, giving objects to babies won’t decrease every child’s desire for movement, but it teaches them to rely on mommy and daddy (or whoever’s around) for everything and not to use their own resources.
      I did the cry it out method with my son at the suggestion of his father, who is tougher on him than I. He was 4 months old screaming his heart out in his crib in his OWN room, but not because he was dirty, hungry or in pain. He simply did not want to be put down because he had gotten used to falling asleep on my chest. Did it hurt me to my core to ignore him? YES! But it taught him to self-soothe and take his behind to sleep. Sometimes he just needed comforting, which I provided by picking him up and rocking him, but eventually I had to put him back down, shut the door and drown out the cries. He is now 2 years old, fiercely independent and sleeping in his room with lights completely off, never getting up in the middle of the night to bother us like toddlers so notoriously do.
      Parents need to know their children and while some need a little more attention than others, parents need to recognize when they’ve stopped giving TLC and have started enabling dependent behavior.

  • my girl would do the same thing for her baby niece.
    now the niece is 20 years old and completely useless.

  • Both. It depends on the situation….but wasn’t Blu just born? Dang Tina, give her some slack! LOL

  • Joan

    That is so cute!

  • Jenn

    People don’t know what spoiled means anymore. It’s used to describe all undesirable behaviors or parental extravagance. You cannot spoil an infant. It’s a baby. It’s hungry, sleepy, wet, or wants a hug. Those are all valid. Depriving your child of a hug is not “preparing them for the world.”

    Spoiled means that you’ve let them rot to their detriment, that you’ve forgone some lesson because you want them to like you. Giving an infant the phone instead of demanding she crawl to it isn’t preventing her individual growth- that baby will still learn to crawl. There is no excuse for demanding A BABY toughen up.

    If you buy your child *another* toy you MAY be spoiling them IF they’re throwing a fit to get it. You’ve deprived that child of the ability to learn self control and everyone will suffer because of it. But if your child is behaving just fine and you’re moved to buy them a toy, it’s not spoiling, it’s just indulgence. You haven’t ruined your child’s ability to learn a life lesson and there’s no negative behavioral result.

    If you’re kid is a brat then there are consequences. If your kid is not a brat then let them be a kid. There’s no reason to assume they’re spoiled unless they’re presenting a repeated, unacceptable, behavior that doesn’t fit their age group.

    • Joan

      Absolutely! ;)