If we lived in a perfect world, being single and trying to find that one person to be with wouldn’t be so complicated.  It’s said that there’s somebody for everyone, but the search to find that one comes with twists and turns, bumps and detours.  In Jessica Massa’s new book, The Gaggle: How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want. “The gaggle is a select group of guys … who play different roles, fulfill different needs,” Massa writes. Basically, she’s saying to stop looking for the “one” and get  a gaggle of men that can fulfill different roles.

I’m not sure what number a gaggle actually consists of but having options never hurt anybody.  If you’re single and dating,  could the “more the merrier” theory work?  If I could put together the perfect “gaggle”, it would consist of:

A) Mr. Cuddler.  He doesn’t want sex, just cuddles. And he doesn’t snore. A snoring cuddler ruins it. (Ironically, the one person who is interested in cuddling with me snores like a bear. I’ll pass)

B) Mr. Fix It.  If my dishwasher breaks, or my car needs an oil change. He’s the one I’m calling. (Do they even make these men any more?)

C) Mr. Happy Hour. The social butterfly, so to speak. For a good time, call him. He’ll take you out, dance all night and drop you home.

D) Mr. Damn He’s Fine. This would be my maintenance man. Keep the conversation to a minimum, and make sure he’s naked as much as possible.

E) Mr. Intellectual.  Great thought-provoking conversation all the time.

Of course I’m just hypothetically speaking, because personally, I like to date the old-fashioned way, one person at a time. But if I could find someone who has all of those qualities, best believe, I’m “husbanding” (as opposed to ‘wifing’) him up ASAP.

Of course there are those double standards that exist, and when someone finds out a woman has “options” when it comes to men, let the name calling begin.  Apparently what’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander in the world of dating.  While it isn’t frowned upon for a man to date several women at a time, women on the other should be more ‘demure’ and not spread it wide, spread it low.  Gotta love gender biases in dating. As much as I look forward to a real “Post-Racial” America, I’ll appreciate “Post-Gender Bias America” even more.

How many men do you date at the same time? Do you feel that women would be more successful at dating if they had a ‘gaggle’?

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  • Purple Rain

    This actually makes a lot of sense. When dating, you should actually be dating multiple men so as not to put all your hopes on one man who may or may not come through or want to take it to the next level. At least, that’s the way I understand it. And by dating, I mean casual dating not casual sexing. So gaggle away!

  • msbklyn

    Been running that game for awhile myself

  • Cookie

    I have a hard time meeting one guy, let alone a gaggle! But I do love the idea of dating multiple guys lol

  • When I’m single, I always date that way except I call them bench players. I am a firm believer when one acts up…you don’t trip…you just sit him down and pull a new starter from the bench!

  • shadow

    LMAO @ the “bench player” mentality!
    mommaused2say, I’m lovin that one!!