“Please do not email me at this email again. It’s been compromised,” was the reply I received from a guy friend. So I didn’t email him back, like he asked, but sent a text message asking about this ‘compromise’. I actually knew the response I would get back. His wife once again discovered that he was cheating, and broke into his email, hence the compromise. This was the fourth time he got caught cheating, and his wife hasn’t left him yet.
I always teased my friend about his bad habits and how they would eventually catch up to him. Although his wife has never left him, and keeps him on a tight leash, he still manages to find a way to sneak out. Those hockey games that he supposedly has, and his extended lunch breaks always makes for opportune cheating time. At this point, I can only think it’s like second nature for him. He’s not going to stop until something drastic happens. By drastic, I mean, he’s going to come across the wrong woman who isn’t going to take kindly to finding out he’s married.
As a person that’s been cheated on, I always adhere to the “One Strike and You’re Out” rule of thumb. But I know plenty of men and women that tend to give extra chances and hope that it doesn’t happen again. But in the case of my friend the “agains” are now stacking up. I think by now, his wife is probably used to his shenanigans and just hopes that he doesn’t bring home a disease or a new baby. Forgiveness is a choice, that doesn’t have to be given. Once you’re willing to forgive someone for cheating, do you forgive them and stay, or do you forgive them and then cut them out of your life?
To forgive also, doesn’t mean you’re going to forget. But forgetting isn’t something that happens unless one day you fall and bump your head and have a severe case of amnesia, or dementia sets in at an early age. Sometimes in a relationship where cheating has occurred, there comes a time when the incidents can be used as ammunition. The first thing usually brought up in the heat of an argument is usually that person’s indiscretions. How many times do you want to relive that over and over again? In forgiving someone for cheating, I can see how it would be hard not to bring it up while being in the middle of another argument.
In forgiving a cheater, the type of relationship you’re in would probably come into play as well. If you’re not married, and your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, it’s probably easier to cut ties and move on, but in a marriage, it’s not always so cut and dry. A lot of married couples stay together for the sake of their children and preservation of the marriage, which makes severing ties a lot more complicated.
Life would be so much simpler if men and women didn’t cheat.
Clutchettes, how many times should a person have to be forgiven? Have you forgiven and stayed, or forgiven & bounced?