Everyone is entitled to try to find a relationship that really works for them, and if you haven’t found it yet, you should keep looking until you do. It’s important to remember that a relationship that works for you might be as much about you changing as him or her meeting your criteria.

So how do you know if your dealbreakers are unreasonable? Well. If you find yourself nodding in agreement with any of the following statements, you might be too picky.

1. You’ve never dated anyone who didn’t have an “annoying” laugh.

2. You’ve turned down more dates than you’ve been on. (This one doesn’t count if you’re in the food service industry.)

3. You’ve broken up with people over things that they’ve done while sleeping.

4. You often have decided that there won’t be a second date before you go on the first.

5. You forgot your date’s last name but remembered that he or she went to the bathroom more than once at dinner.

6. You say you have a “type,” but are unable to elaborate on your type’s defining characteristics when pressed.

7. You show up five minutes late and get upset when your date isn’t there yet.

8. You could fill a “Dealbreaker A Day” desk calendar from your own personal supply.

9. You have an “All the good ones are gay or taken” bumper sticker. On your front door.

10. You’ve given your number to people and then ignored their calls because they got in touch too quickly.

11. You’ve often said “He’s/She’s a little too… (insert vague gesture, noise and/or facial expression). You know what I mean?” (No. We don’t.)

12. You are always the rejector and never the rejectee. Except that one time when your date was being too picky. Which doesn’t count.


This post originally appeared on The Frisky. Republished with permission.

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  • Nicole

    So, I don’t fit any of the items on the list, but I’m single. I’m not bragging and by no means am I lying (no reason to). My friends say I’m picky, but if what is posted above is being picky than I think they may have chose the word wrong to describe me. The funny thing is, I actually don’t mind being single. I do have standards, and after a few bad relationships, I refuse to lower them. But I’m also okay with the fact that I may never find a man that fits all my standards. They’re not ridiculosly high standards, but they’re mine. Here’s my last thought, I don’t mind being picky, seeing as how when I do pick my guy, I don’t want to ever have to pick again.

    • SDL

      You hit the nail on the head!

  • Wow, I’m definitely guilty of number 10. I already knew this whole list would apply to me, but now it’s even more clear. The problem is, how do I CHANGE this behavior??

  • MsToya

    The single life isn’t leprosy. I’d much rather be happily single than taking care of some p-p-p-playa. Call me picky,but until a single, respectful, faithful, 6-foot+, brown-skinned, aviator-wearing, pretty-teeth-having, church-going, master-degreed business professional with ZERO kids comes my way I’ll remain single. My standards are in place primarily as a safeguard against losers trying to make me their “suga momma”.I’ve made the mistake of settling once, never again.

    • mr

      So a childless man with zero children, a bachelors degree, has a blue collar occupation (yet makes about 70k), is church going, with pretty teeth, and is under 6’0 feet still wouldn’t qualify? Wow! You’re tough lol

    • SDL

      MsToya, a lot of your list items seem fairly superficial and physically based. “Losers” come in all shapes, sizes, and education levels. Watch your back.