Brandon got accepted into a PhD program.
Maurice has an adorable toddler who’s learning how to walk.
Rosalyn is expecting another beautiful bundle of joy.
Tomika is traveling the world and posting pics of her exotic adventures.
Tiffanie got engaged and is flashing a gorgeously unique ring.
Emily bought a palatial new house with her husband.
Sheedah just finished her master’s degree.
Cheresa is a newlywed after eloping to Vegas with her boo thang.
Jeremy and his wife are in the hospital celebrating the birth of their new baby.
And Janelle finally tracked down this nail color I’ve been waiting to be restocked at the local Rite Aid. Hot diggity damn.

I don’t know about your Facebook friends, but mine are consistently doing the darn thing. There’s always some amazing life event unfolding, some tremendous accomplishment to post about, some heartwarming feat of personal triumph to share with the world, greeting me at the top of my newsfeed. I click like, like, like.

And I do like it. I don’t begrudge anybody their successes and headline-making news. I get excited when folks are living out the glamorous life, especially people I know well enough to have witnessed the journey and the sacrifices, patience and energy it took to get to it. But I’d be lying to myself and to y’all if I didn’t admit that I have to have a sense of humor when I log onto Facebook sometimes. A lot of times. Because boy, that timeline can make me feel just an itty bitty eensy weensy bit like an inadequate loser.

It’s a good thing my life isn’t tangible because I’d nudge it with my foot and ask it if plans on ever doing anything impressive. Like, ever? I struggle with comparing myself to other folks or, at the very least, operating by this internal timeline that reminds me, in a dark, whispery voice, that I’m not anywhere close to the place I thought I’d be at this age. Facebook isn’t really softening that realization. I don’t expect my friends to stop splashing their milestones and achievements across their pages. I’m just chomping at the bit to start having some of my own.

I know social media is all smoke and mirrors, all what you want people to see and know and none of that nasty real-life sludge that gets churned out in the process. But it sure would be nice to have something, anything monumental to rah rah about, not even to post on The Book but to call my mom and my besties to ooh and ahh over. Until then, I guess I’ll just live vicariously through my real-life and Facebook friends. Let the baby shower invites, housewarming details and engagement party reminders fill my inbox. Let the precious baby pics, wedding day photo shoots and graduation announcements populate my timeline. I’m ready, finger on the trigger to click like, like, like.

So…do you ever have Facebook envy?

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