Rep. Allen West (R-FL), the Tea Party Republican known for making controversial statements, is in the news today after a letter he allegedly wrote his wife surfaced on the web.

The letter, written while West was serving in the Iraq War in 2003, speaks of his affections for his wife and details his expectations of their relationship once he returns home. Although Rep. West has been a staunch advocate against women’s rights in the House, when it comes to getting it on with his wife Dr. Angela West, he asks if she’ll be his “porn star.”

The Florida-based blog, Gossip Extra, gives more details:

…Allen West, who wrote it days before he became entangled in an incident of torture that cost him his military career, shows himself to be a romantic at times, telling Angela: “I miss you and cannot wait to see you.”

He humbly tells her that, although he doesn’t compare physically to the male models of the movie Soul Food, he will always do his best to always be “a clean cut, healthy and affectionate man!”

At other times, the Christian conservative tea party candidate – who’s running for a district that stretches along the coast from Palm Beach Gardens to Fort Pierce – gets a little more, shall we say, daring!

The congressman proceeds tells his wife he expects certain intimate acts upon his return that will be “the standard and it is non-negotiable.”

He tells her: “From now on, you will wear two-piece swim suits when on vacations.”

Then: “Angela, I need to know, are you committed to being my porn star?

“I do not want to hear ‘no’ or ‘we’ll see about that.’ I want my fantasies to be with you. God has authorized you and you only as my partner for intimacy and that is what I want.”

And he signs off: “Get ready!”

Though I disagree with Gossip Extra obtaining and publishing excerpts from the couple’s private communication, Rep. West’s letter to his wife brings up an interesting question:

When it comes to a relationship, can you really demand that certain sex acts be “non-negotiable?”

While I think I understand (and even respect) what Rep. West meant by having his wife be his live-in “porn star,” his insistence that he didn’t want to hear “no” or “we’ll see about that” when it comes to certain sexual acts felt a little rapey and controlling to me.

If wearing two-piece swimsuits and staying in shape keeps the spark alive in their marriage, I’m all for it. But I’m not sure how I’d respond if my husband sent me such a letter saying he doesn’t want me to say no to his, perhaps offbeat, sexual proclivities.

How about you?

Are there any non-negotiable sex acts you’d demand of your partner? How would you react to receiving such a letter from your partner? 

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  • Rosey

    I’m just shocked his wife is black. LOL, but really…thats their personal sex life. To each their own.

  • Gail

    I am fine with telling your spouse what you do and don’t like but don’t talk to them like they are a prostitute. It kinda read that way towards the end, kind of militant demands (what a surprise coming from a guy like that.) BUT, why this stuff is public I have not a freaking clue. That ain’t right.

  • ez

    how would i react to this from my husband? with divorce.

  • I have little more than disdain for Allen West the person or his politics but I do not think this letter is even the least bit relevant or needed to be in the public forum. What 2 consenting adults do within the confines of their relationship is their own damn business. Plus as someone alluded to before every marriage is a negotiated agreement between the people involved and should not be a subject of public debate.