Chris Brown is an **hole. I have to say that because at some point while reading this you’re going to think I am #TeamBreezy and I’m not. As I type this, I find myself a bit baffled at this unexpected stance, one I never thought I would take: of all things, defending Chris Brown.

You might have heard that Brown quit Twitter—yes, again—yesterday after an epic social media spat with comedy writer Jenny Johnson. Brown posted a picture of himself with the caption, “I look old as f***! I’m only 23…” Johnson replied to him, “Being a worthless piece of shit can really age a person.”

And then Brown, as expected by everyone but somehow Johnson, went nuclear.

He called Johnson a” bitch,” a “hoe” [sic] and suggested uh … that she remove her dentures before performing fellatio upon him. In turn, he would pass gas during the act. Possibly later, he would defecate in her retina. That’s the cleaned up version.

So, like I said, Brown’s an **hole.

And he’s immature.

And he needs more anger management.

And while we’re on what he needs, he needs not to be on Twitter or any other social networking platform. He’s proved multiple times that he is incapable of playing nice with others.

But he’s not the bad guy here. Or better: He’s not the only bad “guy” here.

His most recent meltdown quickly made headlines, the latest chapter in his Angry Black Man escapades. The coverage has taken a weird tone, painting Johnson as a damn-near damsel, a carefree comedian who was just having fun and somehow stumbled naively into the big, bad black man’s rage.

HuffPo was one of the first to pick up this story and referred to how Johnson “found herself the target of an extended vulgar, sexist response from Brown.” The title of the article refers to Brown’s “vulgar attack.” It’s like Johnson was sitting around tweeting about the Soul Train Awards, “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” or “The Walking Dead” like everybody else Sunday night and Brown randomly singled her out.

Uh … no. We seem to be forgetting this whole thing started because Johnson went around giving a f*** when it wasn’t her turn, and called Brown “a worthless piece of shit.” This isn’t the first time she has come for Brown. In a Paper magazine interview from May, she gloats that she “harassed” him for six months. She’s on record calling Brown a “shitbag,” and once, not even during an argument with Brown, suggested he “suck a gigantic bag of  d****.”

Jenny Johnson is an **hole too.

I’m not clear how she gets to call Brown “a worthless piece of shit” and somehow there are parameters put on the level of vitriol with which the attacked party—Brown—responds. I’m also unclear what world exists where it’s OK to use social media to harass someone—celebrity or not, likeable celebrity or not—for at least six months, then become the victim when the person responds. As one Twitter follower asked rhetorically, “How is Johnson not a cyber-bully? I’ll wait.”

Despite the spin other media has given this incident, there are no victims here. I only see two people, neither of whom are funny, who talk too much $hit, don’t know when to stop and long ago should have blocked each other’s tweets.

Demetria L. Lucas is the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life (Atria) in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk.


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