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Picture it.

You and your fiancé decide to spend a long weekend visiting your parents. Their house is big so instead of staying at a hotel they insist that the two of you stay in their home.  You arrive and spend the day laughing, eating and having an overall good time. As the night winds down and the bottles of wine dwindle you realize that the time has come for everyone to go to bed.  As you say your “good nights” and head up the stairs with your love, your mom says “James your room is to the left. Nikki, I fixed up your old bedroom for you. Good night!”

Say what now?!

You’re not crazy enough to back talk your momma even as a grown woman.  So you give the eye to your honey and go to your separate quarters.  After maybe an hour you are feeling a bit frisky, after all this is play time when you’re at home, so you text your other half and tell them to come to your room.  They creep in and in no time you feel like teenagers again, the excitement is everything and just when you’re about to reenact the birds and the bees … momma walks in to say goodnight, catches you in the act and damn near loses her mind!  She closes the door and leaves you there naked and mortified.

My dear readers that is no made up tale, that’s the story of my newly engaged friend after she went to visit her family recently.  According to her the awkwardness at the breakfast table was beyond tense with her father alluding to the murder he could commit using various utensils on the table and her mother clutching the bible as if only Jesus himself could save her daughter’s whoring soul.  Sigh, parents.  As I get older I find that this is an issue that more and more of my friends have to deal with.  While you want and should respect your parent’s home, you are an adult.

This isn’t your flavor of the month you’re bringing home, this is your future husband, their future son-in-law and as awkward as it may be for everyone, you deserve the right to be treated as a unit.  Often times it can be hard for parents to deal with and as grown as we may feel, it’s hard for us to think it’s okay to sleep in the same bed with someone we’re with when our parents spent a chunk of our lives threatening to send us to personally meet Jesus if we did.  Situations like this take the parent/child relationship to a new level and it can be a bit tricky.

So what are the rules?  How do you tell your parents that you want to sleep in the same bed as your fiancé  or spouse and how do help them feel comfortable with the fact that their baby isn’t a baby anymore?

Have you ever dealt with this situation?  What rules did you and you parents agree to?

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