Hooking up is easy, but meeting the RIGHT person to spend your time, and possibly life, with is incredibly hard.

In these days and times, when the media is constantly telling women that there aren’t enough “eligible” men to go around, some of us have made the unfortunate decision to settle for Mr. Alright (if I squint my eyes just so) instead of Mr. Absolutely Right For Me.

Because time is precious and you can’t get back those months, or God forbid, years you’ve poured into an unfulfilling relationship, I’m here to offer a few tips that will help you keep it moving (or get moving) when faced with a partner who just isn’t cutting it.

So let’s get on with it, shall we?

3 Signs you should ditch your man (or woman):

1)   He has potential…and little else: Oh how we love fixer-uppers! Sometimes we’ll meet someone who is sweet, caring, and smart, but not using any of his God-given talents for good. Instead of pursing his passion, education, or working hard, dude is at home wasting time and playing Call of Duty. While men with potential can become GREAT men (think: Michelle upgrading Barack), if all he has is potential without the drive to match, run. Eventually you’ll get tired and frustrated with being his cheerleader and will want to hurl your pom-poms (or shoe) at his head.

2)   He’s always making excuses: A man or a woman who cannot take responsibility for their actions is not worth your time. Straight up. Making excuses about why he can’t get out and look for a job (yes, even in this economy), or how racism stopped him from paying his phone bill on time because the Verizon man helped the Asian woman first, so he got frustrated and left, is not the man for you. Adults take responsibility for their actions; they don’t blame their shortcomings on others. If your partner isn’t able to man up on the small things, how will they act if something major happens?

3)   He disrespects other women: Ladies, just because he treats you right (at the moment) does not excuse his blatant disrespect of other women. If he’s constantly calling other women “bitches,” “hoes,” and treating them inappropriately, just wait. One day his venom will get directed at you. Additionally, do you really want someone who think so negatively about other women? Methinks not.


What do you think? What are some other signs that tell you it’s time to hit the door? 

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  • Beks


  • Let’s not forget that Michelle Obama did not upgrade Barack. He was already a lawyer when she met him! He was already exercising his potential.

    • Whitney’s Receipts

      Exactly. Why are people acting like Obama was making beats in his pajamas his mama’s basement before he met Michelle? He was already a Harvard educated lawyer full of ambition and acting on it. If anything, they upgraded each other.

  • Buttons

    I think for matured and seasoned women, these elements are fundamentals of relationship don’ts 101. Although, I do know some matured women that don’t have a clue and who love their Mr. Wrong. However, women that have a good judge of character can usually tell when a man is a low life and a schemer and they have the ability to cut them off very quickly.


  • Buttons

    Also, how about an article on what men need to do to be productive and suitable mates for women. There seems to be a shortage of advice for men to help them to become better men. I know a lot of brothers that could use some manhood training classes and most of them are already men. Just a thought…

    • The Moon in the Sky

      I think ‘personhood’ training classes would be better.

    • Buttons

      @ Huh?

      The same reason that men seem to think they are qualified to give women advice and that they should listen to them, e.g. Steve Harvey, Rev. Run & Tyrese, and now The Dream.

      Furthermore, it’s not about men vs. women. Men and women both have issues. It’s about understanding that the failure of relationships is a problem that is shared by both men and women. Therefore, men need just as much advice as the women, if not more. However, the focus seems to be more on women and what they need to do to better themselves.

  • Buttons

    LOL “Personhood” ??? How do you train a person on how to be a person?? Unless, you’re saying that they’re animals??