Erica Dixon, co-star of Vh1’s “Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta” recently ended her engagement to rapper Lil’ Scrappy. The ending of their relationship was as public as Scrappy’s proposal during the season one reunion special. Dixon dumped her daughter’s father on television and has since expounded on her reasons for ending the engagement in several interviews.
Dixon further explained her decision in a recent conversation with digital publication Mouth to Ears. She claims she left Scrappy because his motives weren’t genuine.
“I definitely called off the engagement. Clearly Scrappy wasn’t ready,” she said. “I feel like the whole proposal at the end of the day was to save his image. It was all about how he looked to the people. So that’s why I believe he proposed at the end at the reunion because he was getting so much hate from fans and I think it was just too much for him to deal with. I feel like as time progressed, the truth came out about what his true iterations really were.”
Dixon’s reason for ending the engagement isn’t common because most women aren’t dating men in public industries like music. However, we all have deal-breakers that would prompt us to end an engagement.
Mira Kirshenbaum is co-founder and clinical director of Boston’s Chestnut Hill Institute and author of I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship. Kirshenbaum thinks it’s wise to call off an engagement when there are doubts about the sustainability of the marriage.
“With doubts like these, the mistake is to think that the good things cancel out the bad things,” she told the Chicago Tribune.
It is time to end an engagement when a list of pros and cons contains more of the latter. Here are several common catalysts for breaking engagements according to Kirshenbaum.
No Longer In Love
Before accepting a proposal and planning a wedding, it is essential to be at complete peace with the decision. If the fire has extinguished and toothpaste residue on the sink causes a massive argument, it is wise to seek relationship counseling before making a “until death do us part” commitment. This requires women to adhere to their gut instinct. If looking at him makes you cringe, accepting his ring won’t alter those feelings.
He Isn’t Your First Choice
Most women have multiple loves in their lives, according to Kirshenbaum. All of those men (or women) don’t rank equally. A proposal that bears the weight of forever often leaves room for doubt. You should ask the questions: Is he my best match? Are all of the chambers of my heart closed to past loves? Am I satisfied with him? “No” should not be the answer. If it is, a broken engagement may be approaching.
Kirshenbaum recommends “regret-proofing” relationships by being blunt about needs, wants and desires. Open communication leaves little room for questioning.
Friends and Family Don’t Approve
Some women value the opinions of their closest friends and relatives. It is common for a disapproving glare or comment from a parent to begin the process of ending an engagement.
He Lies or Cheats
Lying and cheating are often engagement deal breakers. A proposal is a promise of commitment, meant to prepare for the vows of marriage. All cards should be on the table before walking down the aisle. Cheating or omitting vital information leads to a violation of trust. I’ve dumped men for less, so a fiancée has no room for mistakes on this front.
You’re Not Compatible
A pre-marriage counselor can issue a compatibility test to engaged couples. It reveals a lot about both parties and can lead to the ending of an engagement. Emma Wilhelm, who divorced her husband after 14 months, realizes how many signs she missed during her engagement. She cried inconsolably as she walked down the aisle, realizing she was making a mistake but didn’t stop to consider the consequences.
“It was not normal sentimentality,” the blogger said. “I couldn’t recognize it at the time, that maybe I should turn around and walk out.”
Make the decision to end an engagement before it reaches this point. Compatibility makes for long-term bliss.