Jada Pinkett SmithA week ago Jada Pinkett-Smith posted an intriguing question about love and relationships on her Facebook page. After chatting with friends and Facebook fans about whether or not sex is all a man needs to build a good relationship, the outspoken actress took the conversation one step further. She wants to know whether true love really exists.

In her opinion, it does — as long as we are willing to put in the work to make it happen. She writes:

“I believe true love is very real. The question is, are we prepared to CREATE it? Most of us are conditioned to believe that true love HAPPENS to us…effortlessly. My experience has been that romantic love happens effortlessly. The meeting of the eyes that lights you afire inside can happen without our consent, which could be the ENTRY point to true love or to a grand love affair that prepares you for the true love waiting in the wings.

Many of us have equated that intoxicating, romantic feeling to true love. But true love is not created only in the intoxicating romance. True love is mostly created in the troubles, storms, misunderstandings, and deceptions where love is no longer romantic but excruciating. Love is created in forgiveness and in the maturity of accepting the human nature of ourselves and our partner. If you can survive these stages through your fight and growth for love…then TRUE LOVE will reveal itself because it becomes the stuff that CREATES long lasting…true love.”

Do you agree with Jada’s thoughts on true love, Clutchettes? Is true love built through surviving both the good and bad times of a relationship or is it simply a figment of our imaginations?

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  • I don’t get some of the negative comments esp about her being a celeb.

    I agree that romantic/physical love represents the first stages of dating….I always seem to get stuck there…

    I long to make it to the true love aspect of a relationship…the really great and the really bad. Every successful couple that I know including my parents, brother/sister-in-law and good friends have BEEN THROUGH IT but they are still together due to their love and respect for each other and IMO, it helps when you take your time to get to know one another, maybe as friends, first just to see if you even like their personality. Plus they all have said that relationships are challenging…even as they looked into each other’s eyes smiling :)

    Not to sound like a manual but when you’ve solidify that foundation, it’ll be strong enough to hold the weight of the bad without breaking the bottom. Granted, I’ve never made it to that level with someone but I have long-term friendships that have lasted since high school (I’m thirty-something) because of that foundation built as friends.

  • Buttons

    I’m baffled that some people actually think that celebrities and in particular, Jada Pinkett, are not equipped to speak on love and other real life experiences. These people are human and they live and they will die like the rest of us. There is no amount of money and fame that will make someone less human, e.g. Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, etc. So, I think that is the silliest thing to say.

    Furthermore, Jada Pinkett has been married for almost 20 years, and in a celebrity marriage at that, so I think she may have a little something of value to offer on love. Although I believe that people define love in many ways, there is also a criterion and a standard that defines love and how it is measured and it is not open for interpretation. Some people misconstrue emotional dependency, low self- esteem, control, and abuse for love. Love has a clear and distinct definition and it shouldn’t be confused with unhealthy emotions and false realities. Also, love is expressed on many levels. But, in a relationship/marriage, I think it has to be coupled with commitment for it to really be successful.

  • MommieDearest

    I find it fascinating that Jada has been waxing philosophical as of late. I can’t help but wonder if this is a prelude to her next career move, whatever that may be.

  • P

    [Nowadays] I can’t attach a definition to what true love is anymore. Most people are too self-centered and lack staying-power.

    But it does still exist. I think a lot of people may miss the mark due to taking other priorities before it. By doing that, it is harder to sustain. So, my best definition of true love is to gauge it by who sticks with me through the ups and downs and during every season.

    At this wedding, I remember the bride’s father saying, “anybody can stick with you during the summer months, but not everybody can stick around during the winter”. That statement has always resonated with me. In order for someone to remain with nothing is left — but love, it has to be true love. Surely, love has never paid the rent or put food on the table.

    Since this is clearly not one of Will & Jada’s battles, I think by possessing shared values, then growing together, raising children and building together has equated to true love for them. This takes sacrifice and strength which could only be developed throughout the different seasons. After the honeymoon stage, true love remains. If it doesn’t, it wasn’t true love—it was true lust.

    Whatever Jada is doing. It’s working. She looks fabulous!