I’m currently going through a breakup. My days consist of dragging myself out of bed, eating chocolate, watching “Girlfriends” reruns and sympathizing with Joan, avoiding any and all pictures/movies/songs that might remind me of my ex-boyfriend and vacillating between crying uncontrollably and fighting back tears. You know, the normal stuff.

Along the way, I’ve read a couple of articles about “the best way to cope with a breakup” which make the case for not beating yourself up for mistakes and keeping busy. I’ve taken heed to my grandmother’s wise advice that getting over breakups takes time, and I’ve invited a couple friends over to talk about something, anything, besides men. They’re kind enough to check on me regularly.

While I’m pushing myself through the pain, the one lingering issue I can’t get over is that I miss him. And secretly, deep down, I suspect, if given the chance, I’d be happy and willing to rekindle our romance, even with the arguments, passive agressive jabs and neglect I complained about when we were together.

As it turns out, there’s a professional way to try and eradicate this feeling, and I’m not just talking about staining the pillows on your therapist’s couch with tears. Today, it was reported that Rihanna is checking herself into love rehab to get over her feelings for Chris Brown.

Whether these rumors are the work of an imaginative gossip columnist or the God’s honest truth, I still find the concept fascinating. According to Jezebel:

Rihanna is allegedly taking some time off from her Diamonds World Tour to check into a women’s sex and love addiction program at Centers for Relationship and Sexual Recovery (CRSR) on Recovery Ranch, a Tennessee facility.

A source says that she made the decision because she’s been pining for Chris Brown: “Rihanna is still desperately in love with Chris. It’s like she’s obsessed with him and, although he’s told her it’s over, she just can’t get over him. After talking it through with a psychotherapist, Rihanna is now considering doing a 12-step programme to get rid of her demons.”

A bit about the program, which is run like a standard substance abuse clinic. “The Ranch’s ‘Women’s Love and Sex Addiction Treatment Program’ helps women with issues with ”attracting troubled, addicted, abusive or otherwise emotionally unavailable partners” using treatments as varied as counseling and equine therapy.”

I have so many questions. Are there programs really successful in helping you get absolve all the feelings you have for an ex? Can you truly treat love and toxic relationships like a substance abuse problem? What do horses have to do with anything?

As skeptical as I am, I say more power to Rihanna for actively seeking out ways to better her emotional health. And at this point, I’m open to anything that doesn’t involve chocolate and sitcom reruns.

Would you ever give love rehab a try? What’s the best way to cope with a breakup?

-Raquel Wilkerson

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  • It’s extremely courageous for her to go to sex and love addiction rehab. And the Ranch, is, hands down, the best choice. I just completed my treatment there and I have to say it absolutely changed my world. I hope this sheds more light on the reality of sex/love/relationship addiction.

    To answer your questions…yes these programs can be successful. Yes, sex and love are simply different types of drugs. Addiction is addiction. You’d be surprised how much you can learn from working with horses. The equine therapy does a great job at teaching you about relationships in general. And as for chocolate….well, she won’t be having any while she is there.

    If she completes the program I can guarantee she will come out with the tools she needs to lead a healthy life. I’m proud of her!

  • WatchingMoviesWiththeSoundOff

    I agree with the person that said that this should be available in high schools. I don’t much about psychology, but I read an article that talked about what’s called “repetition compulsion”. Freud came up with this back in the day, and it may be addressed differently now, but the main principle still has some truth. Some people who experience some type of trauma, (mostly rooted in childhood) and don’t address the issues they went through engage in this. It doesn’t only apply to relationships, it is basically a form of self sabotage that can be played out in relationships, jobs, friendships, etc.

    It is mostly an unconscious habit, but the person will consistently be in toxic relationships, toxic jobs, or toxic situations, and seem to end up in the same situations time and time again, playing out the old trauma. This can be the woman that consistently chooses the “bad boy”, or the man that consistently chooses the “bad girl”. It is a very interesting concept.

  • trini girl

    Wow! this is definitely a very deep article, I’ve been through a bad break up last year, and I’m still hurt… Searching for ways to get past all the demons