It must be really hard out here for men.  Dating tons of women, shelling out $200* (search $200 dates on Twitter for a good laugh) for each date, but actually wanting the woman to pay but feeling too guilty about taking money from a woman.

Woe is him. Woe is him.

Ladies, listen up. Men are tired of footing the bill on your $200 dates. Man up and pay the bill for once.

Actually, I’m just joking. Don’t get all keyboard angry, well, not just yet.

According to a new study (there’s a new study everyday, folks) led by the research of psychologist David Frederick of Chapman University in California, two out of three men think women should help pay for a date, although most feel guilty about accepting their money. Out of those numbers, 76% of men felt bad about taking money from their dates.

Who are these men? Where can I find them? Because I’ve never noticed any guilt when I’ve paid for a date, but never once was I not thanked for the gesture. Personally, if I ask someone out, I don’t expect the man to pay. But not all women are the same.

From the New York Daily News:

Eighty-four percent of men, and 58% of women, reported that men pay for most dating expenses, even after they’ve been going steady for a while.

Fifty-seven percent of women claimed they had offered to pay for a date — although 39% confessed they hoped the man would reject their offer to chip in.

In any event, over time, the vast majority of participants, both male and female, said they shared dating expenses in the first six months of seeing someone exclusively.

Frederick, whose previous research has focused on body image, said the study was motivated by a desire “to understand why some gendered practices are more resistant to change than others.”

Dating is hard enough nowadays, there shouldn’t be an extra added amount of stress when it comes to who’s footing the bill.  Maybe my next date, I’ll bring a bagged dinner, some boxed wine and call it a day.


*For clarification purposes, I only used $200 as an example of the ridiculousness that goes into some ‘dates’ these days. My best date was $25.
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  • Josh

    As a guy, I’ll split it with female friends that are potentially earning at least as much as me but I’ll never ask her to pay. When the bill arrives, I usually put my card in, close it, and put it off to the side of the table. I behave as if we both assumed that I was paying.

    Once she placed her card in as well. I felt extremely awkward (I didn’t show it), but I allowed her to split it. Most of my potential dates are much more liberal and earn much more than the typical woman her age (I also live on the North East Coast). So I can never assume that she will not be really offended if I insist on paying the whole bill. So I always go with the motions of paying for the whole bill, but I never prevent her from trying to split it.

    But I do feel really awkward when the waiter knows that I am on a date (particularly male waiters) and notices that I split the check. I probably shouldn’t feel this way, but in the moment, I feel like I am less of a grown man.

  • HTown

    I never pay for dates and have no intentions of ever paying for one.

  • Luci

    Women do the brunt (i.e., practically all) of the housework, cooking and childcare: if men quit paying for things, it’s gonna be hard to justify keeping one around. #justsayin

  • D

    1) I love to watch feminists discuss this topic.

    2) I usually pay because I believe in relationships the man should provide. But if you want that you better be willing to swallow all the other traditional values I have. No part-time equality here.

    • camille

      I love an open-minded man. I’ll just assume that penetration is a two-way street as well

    • Treece

      …..just died at your coment, LOL!

  • purplegirl888

    Women should not pay for dates especially in the beginning. The reason being is after a couple gets married, the woman does the bulk of the house work aka cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, child rearing…Dating is the only time the woman gets pampered. If the relationship gets serious (6 months or more of dating), the woman can offer to pay on occasion but that’s up to the woman. A man should be able to prove that he can financially support a woman buy being able to pay for dates. If not, then he shouldn’t be dating. Also, the men don’t have to take women to expensive dinner or show. Sometimes, they can go to a movie, coffee, park, museums, comedy club etc…There are many affordable options out there that don’t cost a lot.People need to be more creative about dating.