Society paints a certain picture of new mommyhood, where mothers experience an instant bond with their children. In reality, not every mother connects with their child immediately. Tamar gave voice to that experience, saying she felt unattached to her adorable son Logan at first.

In an interview with “Good Morning America,” she said via Necole Bitchie:

“I guess in a sense, I did feel unattached because I really really wanted to connect with him. I wanted to breastfeed and when he didn’t latch on and I couldn’t produce milk, I just felt like, ‘Is this the wrong child? Am I the wrong mother?

I didn’t [immediately fall in love] but I loved him. It wasn’t like, “Oh gosh, yes! My baby! Ouuh!” It wasn’t like that! It was “What do I do now?”

She also initially felt jealous of her son’s instant connection with her husband, Vince:

“I was in shock and it took me a few days to come to terms with the fact that I am a mom and this is my baby. I was questioning my motherhood. Is this a mistake that God made? Is this something I should hand over to my husband because he connected with the baby instantly? And I was jealous pretty much. When he finally latched on [while breastfeeding], I felt like, “He got me and I got him and this was all meant to be.”


What are your thoughts on Tamar’s admission? Mothers, did you connect with your children right away or did it take time to develop a bond?

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  • Danielle

    I appreciate her honesty.

  • noirluv45

    I’m glad Tamar expressed these feelings because there are so many new mommies who feel the same way. They hear all the wonderful stories of new motherhood, and it stresses them out because they just aren’t feeling it.

    I, like Danielle, appreciate her honesty too.

  • TamarisSpecial

    Tamar appears to be always looking for something other than which can make her happy. She has the support of what only others can wish for and yet she seems to harper only on the negative. She has the loving support of her husband and family, but is always reaching out for something otherwise.

    • allthingsmichellean

      I agree up to a certain point. I also think she is a drama queen and she has made herself popular being one. However, I don’t think she is the only woman that has those feelings towards her baby.

  • RNJD

    I agree with her somewhat. My moment was when I got home and I was by myself and I thought ok what do I do now? Who is going to help me. Although my husband was there and my family was coming in town the next day I looked at him and started to cry, thinking what did I get myself into. You go through a lot of emotions in a short period of time and when the noise quiets down you can finally think and sometimes your thoughts are not all positive. But after a few days you get into the swing of things and you feel prepared for what is ahead.

    • Dorian

      I had the same feelings you are talking about with my first son. It happened after my husband went back to work and my MIL went home.

  • Donita

    I felt the same way. I knew that I loved my daughter. But it wasnt that instant overwhelming love that I thought I would feel. It was quite the mix of emotions. Now what? At first I felt bad and kinda sad about it. like maybe I was a bad mother. Its something to grow through as a new mother though. My daughter is 8 now and I love her like crazy!!!! In love!