Dear Black Women who are convinced you’ll find your White Knight in Shining Armor,

I know you may not believe me but there is no fundamental manual to dating a white man. You won’t find a switch to turn on and off his settings, he may not come equipped with a seven figure salary and sadly, you can’t enroll in a crash course to on how to trap him.

So now that the truth is FINALLY out, can we stop making dating outside of our race sound like some silly 8th grade science project or an escape from all our “black” problems? I’m not here for your episode of “True Life, I’m done with these black men, I’m going to find me a white man.”

A few days ago, my girlfriend hosted this group venting session at her apartment, the purpose of which was pretty much to condemn all things black. I swear it felt like a sour scene from “Waiting to Exhale” as she ranted about how she’s over black dudes and their ignorance to her needs.

Even her happy black girlfriends who are in relationships were toasting her session of black man-bashing. I sat there replying to a few texts while privately machinating an exit strategy. I knew if I attempted to remove myself, I was running the risk of being chased with torches or worse: one of them would cough on me and I’d catch that bitter flu going around.

After hours of frantic declarations to NEVER date another black man, my friend starts gushing over the prospect of finding her a nice, rich white guy. With her bitter support system cheering her on, a conversation ensued about the myth that white men are better in relationships. I was stunned at the fact she even referenced “The Notebook” a few times to defend her position — as if dating outside of your race is some rebound jaunt against the many black guys who ruined your fairytale dreams.

Oh, the things some black women say when they are angry!

Sorry to break it to you ladies but men are men and that asshole you’re dating comes in many shades. Since when does “finding you a white guy” mean that you won’t run into the same problems as you did before? I promise you it’s a beautiful world once you stop stereotyping and start enjoying the different types of people the world has to offer. Rather than finding your “white man,” strive to find a “better” man or simply the guy who doesn’t treat your heart like monkey meat!

Interracial dating doesn’t exist because the black woman got so fed up one day that she decided to try something new. Yuck, we make it sound so dehumanizing!

Note: if you don’t embrace the oppressed mind state where the white man’s ice is always colder, this letter is not for you.

Signed, with love,

Nikki B.

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