Are you a boss ass bitch? No? You will be after listening to this NSFW songa few million times.
In a nutshell teenagers Kandy B, Alize and KDuce make up the clique P.T.A.F. — boss ass known as “Pretty Taking All Fades” — and in a three-minute video shot in what looks like a back alley porta potty or maybe a shack down by the river, the three of them spit silly nonsense verses over a stupid sick beat. Since I discovered them on YouTube via Vine last week, there hasn’t been one single morning when I don’t listen to this foolishness.
I’m not going to go all Rap Genius into the lyrics because the lyrics aren’t at all important. Suffice it to say that all three girls are bosses. Although they love money above all else, when they see a homeless person, they will absolutely give him some. They will also steal the boyfriend you previously thought was super committed. They’re turned up like the dickens. And, most of all, they don’t give a fuck.
Though it makes me smile, I explain none of this to poke fun at these girls. Aside from the tedious cursing and obsession with cunnilingus, I find PTAF talented and, above all, exceeding sweet. Yep, sweet.
“Boss Ass Bitch” reminds me of every ridiculous song me and my middle school clique came up with on the return leg of a field trip to see “The Mikado.” In the creative bubble in the back of the bus, which also happened to be as far away from our chaperones as possible, we “rapped” about being “playas” and getting “licked” before most of us knew what any of that meant. And even those who did weren’t actually doing it. Those who were “doing it” were few and far between.
For us, there was a freedom in the word “fuck” that extended well beyond rebellion. Like popping a champagne cork without drinking any of the fizzy venom inside. We were nerds in real life — overscheduled, stressed about college years before we should have been and bubbling up inside. So being loud and rude and apathetic was like “getting the wiggles out,” the silly exercise you did in kindergarten that you were too cool for years later despite needing it just as much.
Whenever I hear PTAF’s beat drop, I feel the silly coming on. I start singing along to the hook at the top of my lungs, rolling my neck like it’s made of flubber and my shoulders take on a mind of their own. Am I boss ass bitch? I have no idea. But I get to play one in front of the mirror with a soundtrack tailor made. I bathe myself in swagu all the while silently thanking these three teenagers from who knows where for knowing exactly what I needed to start the day in my world — to get the wiggles all the way out.
Do you have a song that turns you up? I could use a few more to add to the repertoire — if only to stop scaring Ike every morning.