bal-arundel-high-schools-ban-twerking-at-dance-001Since Miley Cyrus is the only person who has or will of any import to ever not-really-twerk in the history of not-twerking, it only makes sense that our institutions of learning are trying to keep future Miley “Non-Twerking Properly” Cyruses from happening. How do you stop this menace? By putting up pointless dancing bans on the bottom-heavy dance move, of course!

Case in point, this latest twerking “dance ban” out of Orange County, Calif.

From the Orange County Register:

Miley Cyrus did it on television, but administrators at Aliso Niguel High School want students to know there’s no “twerking” allowed on campus.

“Because it’s the newest thing out there, it’s the newest thing they have been talking about, we just wanted to make sure that’s understood,” said Ann Zendner, activities director for the Aliso Viejo school, which sent an email to parents and students last week specifically proclaiming “No twerking” among a list of dancing guidelines. The rule was in effect for Saturday’s homecoming dance.

The dance, which depending on who you ask is either:

  1. A black thing
  2. Not a black thing but a “Ratchet Culture” thing
  3. Not a part of “Ratchet” culture, but of stripper culture
  4. Not part of stripper culture but part of “Bounce” dance culture
  5. Invented by “demon woman” Miley Cyrus despite existing in a 2007 Ying Yang Twins video

It is also offensive to certain people of certain sensibilities, meaning it’s ripe for a dance ban, much like past dance crazes, such as “freaking,” the butterfly, “doin’ the butt,” and so on and so forth. But most important, DID THE DANCE BAN WORK AT THE SCHOOL’S BIG DANCE?

Why yes, but not really because of the ban. More so because actual “twerking” is not all that easy to do if you don’t know what on earth you’re doing.

From the Orange County Register:

“I didn’t really see any twerking,” said Cailyn Ghara, 16. “I’d say probably because a lot of people don’t know how to, or they think it’s really unclassy.”

Many students said twerking wasn’t a big problem. Most didn’t want to give their names for an article.

Ghara said she is glad the school banned the move.

“It didn’t make me feel safer as a student, but … no one really wants to see that at a school dance,” she said.

Indeed. No one wants to see poorly performed twerking. No one.

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