Hey DMX,

Let me get this straight.

You’re just sitting at the Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport, just minding your business, right?  Sitting in a car without license plates, right? Without registration, and a suspended drivers license? It didn’t cross your mind that the police who are always outside of airports wouldn’t notice your license-plate-free car?  Got it.

I really don’t think you have a problem with cars. It’s the keys that get you in trouble.  I really don’t know who in your life allows you to access to car keys. Seriously. In order to solve this issue you have with driving, by issue I mean, you’re not supposed to drive on a suspended license, we need to remove car keys from your life.

No cars keys. No driving. Pretty simple concept.

Also, why would you drive a car that doesn’t have any license plates? Who does that? Do you actually remove the plates from the car before you drive?

But the silver lining is, according to your representative, is that you were only in jail for 3 hours and it won’t affect your concerts and Wendy Williams appearance.

Iyanla Vanzant and Dr. Phil are both shaking their heads right now.

Remember, no car keys. Car keys bad. Stay away.

Wait, you don’t know how to hot-wire a car, right?


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  • What an odious character DMX is.

    I watched the show when he flipped out on Iyanla and called her the worst names. What man speaks like that to a woman old enough to be his mother?

    I saw him try to play dysfunctional Jedi mind tricks on his hurting teenage son.

    I saw him on the Dr. Phil show rationalizing his ‘inability’ to pay back child support on his eleven children (a twelfth was on the way).

    I remember seeing him on some show with his long-suffering then wife. I couldn’t understand why she was with him. I’m glad she divorced him and moved on. I’m glad she has always been present, supportive and loving to their children.

    I know he had a hard time growing up with his no account mother but dammit DMX, get your sh*t together.

    • TIna

      Another child on the way? He is who he is but what’s wild is that there will always be a woman willing to stay with him, get with him, and unfortunately go raw and procreate with him with his well documented dysfunction & inability to parent.