So you’re ready for marriage. You’ve been in a long term relationship with your boyfriend, but he hasn’t popped the question yet.  All of your girlfriends are flashing their new engagement rings and planning their weddings. Always a bridesmaid, but if you keep on waiting for him to pop the question, will you ever be a bride?

But what’s stopping you from asking your boyfriend for his hand in marriage?

This the same exact question that I came across earlier this week on a Facebook post and needless to say, the responses were quite interesting:

“My wife asked me, Been married 2yrs now and we just brought our first home. I can assure you 90% of women are still waiting for him to ask. 5% might have gotten an engagement ring but still waiting on him to set a date. 4% probably has a date set. The that 1% who say they don’t care about being married is a muthafuckin lie. Nobody wants to be alone and no woman on earth wants to be a jump off forever. But then again I don’t know shit. So scratch all of what I said….Lol”
“A man that finds a wife not a woman that finds a husband”
“Hellllll to the no!!! First off asking a man to marry you is like giving him the ultimatum, backing him into a corner yet keeping him from embarrassing your butt… When a man is ready to get married he will drop to his knees and pop the question… Something’s are just for men like birth is just for women!!!”
“I believe if a man really loves “me” he will want me “enough” to ask me. If I have to ask him, he must not think I’m worth it plus; if I have to take that lead it may be a sign of things to come.”
And those were just the tip of the icebergs. I did notice a lot of people quoted from the bible, “a man findeth a wife”. I’m not a bible reader, but it seems as though that’s yet another “rule” people want to abide by.
A recent Glamour article asked men how would the feel about a woman proposing to them and the majority of the  men seemed to be in favor of the idea:

“It just wouldn’t feel good. If you’re in a relationship and she’s asking, something isn’t right.”—Nick N., 26

“Totally! It would take the pressure off of me and save me the five grand on a ring.”
—Matt C., 24

“I’d feel kind of awkward. But if I were in love, it would save me the nervousness.”
—Angel O., 33

“It would be weird, but I’d get used to it. But I probably wouldn’t tell my friends how it went down.”
—Gabriel S., 28

“If I loved her—great! Men always do it; it’s about time a woman stepped up.”
—Xavier M., 29


Clutchettes, what do you think about a woman proposing to a man? 

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  • Bree

    Well my mother used that approach. My parents have been married for 17 years and counting so there might be something to that. :)

  • I don’t think women should ask a man to marry them. Yes a few people have pointed out exceptions to the rule, but I personally would never do it. Women are more likely to express their feelings, whereas men are not. I’ve seen many relationships where women were deceived my their man for a long period of time but they thought they were in a loving relationship. And the truth is there are some women who want to be married really badly but some men who just don’t. Someone already pointed out that a woman proposing may make a man feel cornered or at the least uncomfortable. Is that how you want to start your marriage off? Like you held a knife to his throat?

    • A man proposing can also make a woman, who isn’t ready, feel cornered herself. We put too much unnecessary disparity between the two sexes. We are more a like than people would care to comprehend.

  • Jen

    What a lovely story!

  • BeanBean

    I’ve always thought I was a modern feminist and progressive, but I guess I was wrong. I love chivalry! I never knew how much I loved it until I met a guy who treated me as an equal and a princess simultaneously. I want to be proposed to and I would like it to be unexpected. I understand there are circumstances where the couple mutually asks each other, I’m okay with that.

  • ruggie

    A lot of men have been proposed to and/or asked to be somebody’s baby daddy and said no. If you can handle the possibility of being turned down then go for it. But if it’s the right time in a man’s life for marriage, he’ll ask anyway, without being dragged to the altar.

    • If a woman has been waiting past the time she feels comfortable with, then I see nothing wrong with asking. Men love differently and at a different pace than women at times. If he says no then she knows to move on instead of wasting another two years on waiting.