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Schulte

You’d think after eating 200 sandwiches this dude would have plenty of proposal ideas for his sandwich making, book deal having girlfriend. But nooooo. He needs help!

In his very own NY Post column, the same newspaper that employees his sandwich making girlfriend Stephanie Smith, Eric Schulte is trying to get a piece of the book deal pie is looking for proposal advice.

He laments:

Every couple has inside jokes, and ours consisted of three measures of 1950s traditional gender roles; one measure of “Borat”; half a measure of saccharine, shaken vigorously, served in a highball with a Krazy Straw — because, why not?

“Baby, how about you make me a sandwich tonight?” I’d say.

She would normally roll her eyes and laugh as I went on making the meal.

One day she responded to my joke with one herself: She made me that sandwich. Thus began a chain reaction of one-upmanship to an eventual climax where I uttered those fateful words: “Baby, you’re just 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!”

TKO: Perfect absurdity, right in the kisser. I win. (Or did she?)

And just like that, we created a project that would offend some, inspire others and delight far more.

Now, a year and a half in, and with less than 100 sandwiches to go, not a day passes without yet another fresh reminder from friends, family, or random people in the queue at Citarella that we creep closer to the finish line, that I’d better be ready, and that now there’s a crowd watching. (“Yes, I’m aware. Thank you.”)

Few things are more nerve-rattling for a young man than preparing to propose, but having been grilled regarding when I’d pop the question by Matt Lauer on “Today” brings this fear to a whole new level.

I already know that in the eyes of the public, the stone will never be flawless enough, the ring never shiny enough and the proposal never perfect enough to satisfy the impeccable taste and boundless prowess of Internet commenters.

Instead of coming up with his own ideas, like a 300 member flashmob, he wants the general public to help him out by tweeting him @mr300sandwiches.

Here’s an idea, how about coming up with your own. You’ve had 200 sandwiches worth of time to think of a good one.

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  • Ebony

    Its nice break from kim k and her Dixie flag waving man. Happy for this couple that includes a black woman.

  • Mari

    He has a bigger forehead than Rihanna and Tyra combined, but not a fraction of the looks to make up for it.

    And yea, I agree he seems like he has a little bit of sugar in his tank lol.

  • K. Michel

    Yeah. If I asked any of my exes to make me 300 sandwiches for an engagement ring, I’d end up with 300 broken bones… and I only have 206 of those.

    So you tell me how that works.

  • Marketing Gimmicks

    Do I spot a lacefront hairline on Mr. 300 Sandwiches? #boybye #quitplayin

  • J

    I prefer my way of doing things: no ring and he does most of the cooking.