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My number one pet peeve when it comes to dating is lateness. I’m not the person who’s always on time, I’m always early, and this comes into play in all aspects of my life. If I ask for someone to meet me somewhere at a certain time, and I’m left sitting there for more than 30 minutes, my patience grows shorter and shorter. I typically give a 15 minute window, because I realize things may happen. If they do happen, it’s not too much to ask for a warning. A simple phone call or text will suffice.

To me constant lateness is a sign of a lack of respect for another person’s time. There was only one time where lateness played a huge role in whether or not I would deal with someone. I can’t remember how many times I was left sitting at a restaurant or waiting to be picked up, sometimes 30 minutes or longer. This person truly had no sense of time but would always make reservations or promise to be somewhere at a specific time. I used to joke and ask how did he function throughout life and did he ever show up on time to anything? Unfortunately the answer was always no.

After a few dates, I knew that this would be an issue and he didn’t seem like he was interested in changing it. He always said that people would just put up with it. Not I. I think his main issue was just that. Other people didn’t call him out about his misuse of their time. Well that was until he met me.

That pet peeve was a deal breaker. A huge deal breaker for me.

Pet peeves work both ways. Plenty of men have their own for women. I have several guy friends that have broken up with women because of things like: biting nails, hygiene, not keeping a clean house and being high maintenance. I don’t fault people for having pet peeves. One person’s pet peeve may be a quality accepted by another person. It’s all relative.

But when do you let a pet peeve slide? When does it become a deal breaker? With me, a deal breaker is always one that can affect my quality of life. Constantly being late and not keeping track of time can affect a person’s day. Who knows what other plans you’d have to rearrange because of someone else’s lateness. My smoking pet peeve is another deal breaker. Keep your second hand smoke to yourself. If you’re constantly lighting up Newports, we could never get along. But on the other hand, if you occasionally indulge in hookah, I’m able to let that slide.

When I see early signs of potential pet peeve issues, I have no problem in bringing up the subject and discussing them. It’s always good to get things out in the open early. Some people may be receptive to the issue, some may not. Only you can decide what you’re willing to deal with.

What are some of your pet peeves? Which ones are deal breakers? Which ones do you let slide?

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  • Pseudonym

    -Emotional unavailability!
    -Dutch dates
    -Bad breath
    -Mentions sex

    New additions:
    -Kids (or even just one kid)
    -No college degree
    -Doesn’t adore his parents.

    • My Name is My Name

      Someone who doesn’t adore his parents is a deal breaker?

      What is the reasoning behind that?

      There are some of us (women and men) who are unfortunate in that we ended up with a bad set of parents or parent.

    • Pseudonym

      I totally agree; some people do get stuck with a bad set of parents, which is unfortunate. I just noticed (when making that list, in fact) that I have better relationships w/ people who like and respect their parents (they don’t have to be besties, but the respect for another person who can get on their nerves seems to translates to a respect that translates to stability when I get on their nerves). Also, I come from a really small family (immigrated, so there’s only a handful of us here), so I would really like my marriage to expand my (and my kids’) family with grandparents, cousins, etc. I’m very much into the whole family dynamic and want my children to grow up with both sides of their families.

      That’s not passing a judgement on the person as to whether they are good or bad, I just don’t want to date/marry someone who doesn’t like their parents b/c you inherit that family dynamic when you marry that person. We can be best friends for life, though! :) We all have our different experiences that shape us. My last relationship was a horrible and dysfunctional year with a person who had a kid with a baby momma (or “mother of child” but not even a legit “I was in love with her at the time and we at least stayed together during the pregnancy” girlfriend), hated his parents, and no college degree. Considered those to be cause for pause, let people talk me into thinking it was alright, dated him anyway, and then those exact three things constantly contributed to every problem we had in our relationship for the entire 6 months of relationship and 6 extra months of trying to communicate and work out our issues. So, now I’m here and would like someone who has no kids, likes (or at least respects) their parents, and has a college degree. Even though there are definitely women out there who have successful happy relationships with baby momma-having, parent-hating, college drop-outs, this is MY choice for ME and how I want to live my life (like the gospel singer in the tight white dress on that other article). You can date whoever you want.

  • SE

    – Selfishness
    – Temper
    – Lacks substance
    – Arrogance
    – Controlling
    – Not romantic

  • Krysie869

    Often we hold high regard to such standards in romantic relationships, but not platonic or familial relationships. These deal breakers should apply to all people, not just to our romantic relationships! We should focus on being picky with EVERYONE we interact with and not half-ass it!