At least once a week I notice someone taking their Facebook status from “single” to “in a relationship” or from “single” to engaged”.  Then there’s always the “it’s complicated” people.  I’ll never for the life understand that one.

Personally, I never bother changing my status online, because it seems too much like a call for attention.

“Hey look at me! I’m not single. Nah nah nah boo boo”.


“I’se married now! I’se married!”. Word to The Color Purple.

But in real life, offline, when you’re dating someone going from single to slapping a label on a relationship is a little bit more complicated than a click of a button.

I remember one relationship I was in and we had the “big talk”.

We were casually dating for a about 2 months, and he brought up the subject of  officially being boyfriend and girlfriend.  I remember it clear as day. We were sitting outside having lunch and he basically just said, “Hey, what do you think about being boyfriend and girlfriend?”  As I stuffed a forkful of caesar salad into my mouth, I said, “Sure, ok”.

Oh well, as simple as that was, unfortunately about 3 months later I received the dreaded, “Hey, I don’t want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, no ‘mo” phone call.  Yes, a phone call.  No outside lunch this time.

Sometimes I wonder if we would have kept our “non-title” relationship, would things have fared out better for us. But I guess I’ll never know.

Having the title of a boyfriend or girlfriend are important to some people.  There’s always the prep questions of “what are we?”  And yes, that was a question I asked my ex a few weeks before he popped the “wanna be my girlfriend?” question.  Plenty of people have situations where they’re in the “grey” area of relationships. There’s no title, but you’re spending time with someone consistently, you may be physically intimate.  But sometimes the question of “what are we?” may send people running in a different direction.

You can’t force a title onto someone, but when is a title appropriate or when is the right time to bring up the “what are we” question? 

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