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Drunk in Love

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Sometimes that “Drunk in Love” feeling is one-sided and leads to illegal activities. Ever seen Fatal Attraction? It gets real out here.  The Date Report put together a list of real-life events where folks took that whole love jones thing a tad too far. Here are a few highlights:

The Guy Who Tried To Defecate In His Girlfriend’s Car But It Wasn’t Actually Her Car. To get back at his ex-girlfriend, a recently dumped Austin man planned to break into her car and empty his bowels there. Which he did. Except that the Honda Civic wasn’t her Honda Civic. It was a random Honda Civic (why are there so many Honda Civics in this town?). This is a man who is, or at least was, unhinged. This is a man who is, or at least was, unfamiliar with the concept of license plates.

The Woman Who Decapitated Her Girlfriend’s Dildos. Late last year, a Florida Woman was very angry at her former girlfriend, and so she did what any reasonable person would do: she talked it out. Just kidding — she decapitated her girlfriend’s three dildos. Or maybe she didn’t. Maybe the toys were chopped by someone else. Maybe they were just, you know, manufactured that way. We’ll never know, because the case was closed do to “lack of further investigative leads.”

The Dude Who Got His Friend To Shoot Him To Impress His Ex-Girlfriend. A Wisconsin man wanted to get his girlfriend back, so in 2011, he got his friend to shoot him in the back. You know, the ladies love that. His hope was that his beloved would then visit him in the hospital, feel passionately sympathetic, and fall back in love with him, because who wouldn’t go for that? His girlfriend. That’s who wouldn’t go for that. Also, the police, who arrested both him and the friend that shot him.

Oh, gee. Well, that didn’t work out. I’ve never done anything that crazy for the sake of love lust or any of those other related feelings.  I have had guys doing the most at times. One dude showed up at my crib, banging on the door at one o’ clock in the morning to proclaim his “love.” Fortunately for him, my daddy was not home at the time. As a grown-up, another cat threatened to firebomb my crib because I ended things with him.  I didn’t call the police because I knew he was all talk and hurt feelings. He wasn’t about to firebomb a damn thing.  But, duly noted, my dude. Duly noted. (Also captured a confession of that phone outburst on text, so I was super good.) As a general rule though, I do suggest contacting the appropriate authorities if anyone hands you a credible threat.

Truth time! Have you ever done something crazy in the name of love? Ever had someone do something to you for the same reason?

Follow Demetria Irwin on Twitter at @Love_Is_Dope and connect with her on Facebook.

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  • Lisss

    Hahahaha! Aside from a couple of stalking sessions on Fcebook, nope. Never been that in love…or lust.

  • shay

    Nothin other than the regular egginf and keying of his car. And blowing up each others phone for no reason…

  • MimiLuvs

    My apartment was a victim of arson.
    The perpetrator was the former girlfriend of a guy that I was still in the “courting stage” (not boyfriend-girlfriend, just going out on dates and still getting to know each other) with. One of her girlfriends saw us (on one of our dates and proceeded to follow me to my apartment) and reported the information back to the ex.
    Luckily, I wasn’t home and none of my neighbors were injured.
    She was apprehended because she bragged about the act to the guy, courtesy of text messaging. He called the cops and the cops had notified me.
    Of course, I proceeded to lose the dude’s contact info after that spectacle.

  • I guess I haven’t been deep like that to the point where it drove me over the edge. The close I got to crazy was calling a whole bunch of times, angry text messages, and yelling..that’s it. Maybe later on in life.

    Side note- I remember when I first saw previews of this videos on a morning show, I didn’t see Beyonce’s face. I thought “who is that white woman getting down” until I saw Jay then I realize the news preview was about Beyonce’s album.

  • Girl Bye

    About three weeks ago, my ex waited outside my apartment for me to leave for work, because he “wanted to talk”. I ran and was able to get into my car, but he decided it would be a good idea to stand in front of it so that I could not leave… However he did not factor that his little ol body was not going to prevent me from going to work, so I proceeded to drive anyway. Realizing he was no match for my c250, he jumped on the hood of my car. Again, his crazy ass was NOT going to make me late for work, so I proceeded to drive to work.. with him on the hood of my car, holding on for dear life smh. After a few blocks he decided to hop off… this is just ONE story of ridiculous acts he’s committed including lying about having Cancer so I would stay with him. Well, I got that restraining order, and have had some peace the last couple of weeks.