I’m a huge fan of Paul Carrick Brunson. He’s a smart guy (with a beautiful family) who is pretty darn good at his job as a matchmaker (co-signed by Oprah) and gives awesome advice. So, whenever he pops in my Facebook or Twitter feeds, I make sure to take a look at what he’s sharing.

But somehow, I missed this spot-on post he made at the start of the new year entitled “20 Things I’ve Learned After 5 Years of Being a Professional Matchmaker.” When I tell you that I sopped up every word with a  biscuit, I tell no lies. Go check it out for yourself, but my favorite tidbit is #16.

 “16) Your belief in the availability of ‘good’ men/women is exactly your reality

I find it fascinating when a female client will call me up and say “Paul, New York City is the WORST city in the world for dating, I don’t believe there are any “good” men, and I can’t find any.” Then, I’ll hear this “Paul, New York City is one the greatest in the world for dating, I believe there are good men, I date them all the time (but haven’t found the right one for me).”  Bottom line is that your belief is your reality.”

Say it again, Paul! They ain’t hear you though. That’s not some psycho babble about mind over matter. I do think that truly believing that there are “no good men” out there, makes it very hard recognizing a good dude when one appears. I hear women all the time lament about dating in New York, Atlanta, LA, Detroit, DC, Chicago, etc. Every city is the “worst city” for dating. Seems like attitude and outlook definitely have an impact.

I’ll leave relationship advice to the experts. I’m certainly not an expert, but I don’t mind sharing my own experiences from time to time and for me, I’ve had fun dating in New York. Is it always a basket of puppies and rainbows? Nope. But overall, I’ve met some really good guys and had lots of fun and tried new things. So, I’m rocking with Paul heavy on #16.

Follow Demetria Irwin on Twitter at @Love_Is_Dope and connect with her on Facebook.


What’s the best piece of relationship or dating advice, you’ve ever been given?

Tags: , ,
Like Us On Facebook Follow Us On Twitter