I’m one of the most open-minded, come-as-you-are, equal opportunity, cautiously optimistic daters I know. So, when a guy told me a little while ago that I was “too hard on a brotha” I couldn’t do anything but laugh. After all, his comment came right after he failed to show up to an event I had invited him to and to which he had agreed to come and meet me. He offered a non-apology via text at the end of the event and asked to meet with me after said event. I declined that oh so generous offer. He in turn told me I was “hard on a brotha.” Oh.
It really is laughable. If that had happened in my younger days, that comment might have made me re-evaluate and give him another shot. But now? Nah. I’m older and experienced now and if I know for sure that any man I decide to spend time with must be a man of his word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you drop the ball, admit it, apologize and make amends. These days when I see red flags, I take heed. There are so many people and opportunities out there, no need to waste time on an iffy man. Because I’m so comfortable with my standards, I can say “no” with confidence and not think twice about it.
So, that’s how I stay grounded. I’m not anxious. I’m not worried. I’m not bitter. I’m just out here enjoying myself and choosing to spend my time with quality people who I think can enrich my life—whether that be with travel, good conversation, great sex or maybe even a lifetime of laughter.
But it is quite easy to start questioning yourself when you get advice and sayings and ridiculous rules from friends, family and self-proclaimed relationship gurus. To all the single folks out there, how do you stay sane in these dating streets?