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Maybe I have this dating thing all wrong.  Maybe I’m asking too much when I expect monogamy.  I grew up with siblings, I’ve always sucked at sharing. And sharing a man is something I’ve never wanted to do.

But of course, there has been those times when I’ve shared and didn’t even know it.  The cheaters who failed to divulge the fact that I may have been in a monogamous relationship with them, but they weren’t with me, will always have a place inside my jaded heart.

Am I dumb to think that monogamy still exists?  Or that I should expect it when I’m in a relationship?

In a recent interview with InStyle, Cameron Diaz says to hell with monogamy.

“I don’t know if anyone is really naturally monogamous. We all have the same instincts as animals,” the actress says in the May issue of InStyle (on newsstands April 18). “But we live in a society where it’s been ingrained in us to do these things.”

As much as I’d rather not compare myself to my pet dog, or any other animal, I don’t think I quite agree with the analogy.

Only 3 percent to 5 percent of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals (including humans) are known to form lifelong, monogamous bonds , the loyal animals beavers, wolves and some bats.

There are also scientists who believe that monogamy is more of a societal structure and not natural at all.

“I don’t think we are a monogamous animal,” said Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle. “A really monogamous animal is a goose – which never mates again even if its mate is killed.”

She added, “Monogamy is invented for order and investment – but not necessarily because it’s ‘natural.'”

So what is a single woman to do? Say ‘eff the societal system  and put aside the need for monogamy?  Or just wait around until the needle in a haystack of a man comes around who’s on the same monogamy page?

Clutchettes, Do you believe in monogamy?

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  • 9Boots

    I am not an animal. Y’all can be animals if you want to. My God says “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).”
    Jesus Christ Matthew 19:5-6 (Amplified Bible)

  • Cynth

    I see what Clutch does. They read the comments, find out what people are talking about then take our ideas and write articles. Unimaginative.

    • Stacy L.

      Um, how about they’re expanding the conversation by writing about subjects their readers are interested in–it’s called catering to your readers’ interests. Smart.

  • Cynth

    Monogamy is a Christian tool to keep people controlled and in line. I don’t care how much you believe in marriage, you will have feelings for other people. Keeping it real.

    • Christianity isn’t the beginning of humanity or civilization. People have been practicing monogamy much longer than the establishment of Christianity. If your personal belief system says monogamy isn’t for you, cool, but most people in committed relationships whether they be marriages or partnerships (or whatever the label is these days) have a reasonable expectation for it. The only exception is when the couple (both parties) agrees that they have an open relationship or some form of an open relationship. Commitment may not be for everyone, but I can’t say it isn’t natural, more so a conscious decision.