042614 Single Mom

We’re often beaten to death with the same ol’ statistic: Seventy percent of black women are unmarried. Blah, blah, blah. And it always seems to pop up whenever there’s a discussion involving the words “single,” “black,” and “woman” regardless of the real topic. Well, we don’t want to hear it – especially single black mothers.

Confessions of a Single Black Mother is an eight-part YouTube series that serves as a platform for single moms to share their frustrations and stories of single motherhood including the stigma that surrounds it. It also aims to underline the effects of absenteeism and favoritism on the father’s part. And it allows for the men’s perspective with a few voicing their opinions and concerns.

Here are the first three parts:

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  • Jami Sanders

    umm excuse me but why doesn’t anyone suggest that the men get a vasectomy? Seriously marriage is the women’s responsibility, raising the children, and birth control???!!! Maybe if young men want to have fun sexually but without the consequence of unwanted children they should get a vasectomy point blank period. That way you have a choice on whether or not a child comes into the world unwanted and unplanned for.

    • Kai26

      As stated by someone below, fatherhood is not a choice, so a vasectomy is a great birth control choice.

  • De_Ann

    Just from watching the first video alone, I can tell these women didn’t go through a proper “screening process” with the father of their children. I’m over the “marriage doesn’t solve everything” excuse and why society seems to think it’s okay to have child out of wedlock. Now, I don’t think marriage solves everything but when you take your time and get to know your potential spouse, marry them later and then have children, it does make your life easier for you and your child. Also, if you haven’t met the right man for you then pray about it and be patient! Play your right cards and spend time with right-minded men who want a future with you. There’s no reason in my mind why a woman should settle for a spouse or child. It is possible to have both.

    • Adonis

      Thank you

  • Adonis

    eff these dusty THOTS.

    • eve-audrey

      Did no one tell you no one uses that word here? Go away

  • Huey Freeman

    Ask_Me makes some valid points while other points… However, the issue is much larger than the black community. The circumstance just seems to manifest or have a more adverse impact in our community.

    Our society today in comparison to 2 or 3 generations prior, is without a doubt producing a poorer quality person (mentally, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, etc.) as our society at large morphs from a manufacturing/consumption-based economy into a purely consumption-based economy. This is true of every demographic group not just African-Americans. An American raised, western socialized Asian child is qualitatively difference than a Chinese or Japanese raise, traditionally socialized child with regards to mentality, intellectual growth, spiritually, emotional growth, etc.).

    While one can make a strong argument that African-American men generally are marriage averse, white males have observably become independent averse as many sociologist have documented in that they require the indefinite support of parents well into adulthood. None the less, the issue of single-parenthood is one of culture (namely Western) in that it encourages a hyper-ego orientation in which individuals refuse to recognize any outward commitment or social responsibility to society or community (e.g. marriage, long-term relationship commitment, child-rearing, etc). How this hyper-ego manifest is that black men live largely in pursuit of sensual gratification while white men live largely based on a sense of entitlement to general comfort and general protection from social responsibility (e.g. “affluenza). Black females on the other hand have become far more materialistic than ever before while white women… I don’t know. I don’t pay too much attention to white women. Regardless of demographic affiliation, ALL individuals regardless of race have grown to be accountability averse.

    None the less, the point is that the issue of single parenting of one of culture not just an issue between African-American men or black women. If African-American men and women want to resolve this issue, we would be best served by divesting from western culture as much as possible in return to more traditional cultures as much as we can determine those cultures. To demonstrate my point, if you look at the marriage/divorce rate of African-American couples from the time of legal social integration (1863) on forward, you will find a progressive decline in black marriage rates taking into account other social factors.

    BBC ran an extremely insightful series entitle “Decadence – The Meaninglessness of Modern Life”. It is a provocative critique of western culture. I strongly encourage you to watch an episode entitled “Decadence – The Meaninglessness of Modern Life: Sex”. In this same episode, a Brit women was discussing how she dreaded the prospect of growing old alone as men in her society (British white males) no longer wanted to engage long-term relationships, let alone marriage. This is not a black/white issue. It is a cultural issue, namely western culture.

  • Women control reproduction so black women are responsible for the mess that is the so-called black community. And as long as the “black community” is filled with women like the ones in this video who have complete control over reproduction, nothing is going to change.