Or … “Don’t Fight Your Brother-in-law”
There are, um, a few reasons why singer/songwriter Solange Knowles decided to go H.A.M. on her brother-in-law, Jay Z, while her infinitely more famous sister, Beyonce Knowles, just kind of stood there fixing her dress.
1. He looked at her funny.*
2. She was drunk and took something the wrong way. (Mean drunks are the worst.)
3. Jay Z insulted her or her sister.
4. The Illuminati **
5. She has never, ever liked her sister’s husband.
Some people (annoying people) want to blame Bipolar Disorder or mental illness, but there is no mental diagnosis that assures you will deliver a beat down. I have Bipolar Type II and have never been in a fight. I have friends who have Bipolar Type II and they have been in a fight. I have friends diagnosed with nothing who have been in fights. Mental illness alone doesn’t mean anyone will do anything but either get depressed or get manic and then deal with that in however they choose to cope. But anyone can lose it and start to fight somebody no matter their diagnosis or if they even have a diagnosis at all.
Because sometimes you just want to fight somebody.
When my ex-husband and I broke up, my baby sister, Baby Snob, told me she drove around our college campus hoping to see him, then hit him with our father’s car. I, the ex and her all went to the same school and he would hang out there sometimes after we broke up, mostly pestering my sorority sisters for info on my whereabouts. To the credit of “Finer Womanhood” not one Zeta squealed. When I told Baby Snob he was still wandering around Southern Illinois University she hoped she would see him there, walking around campus so she could pull 4’11″ inches worth (5 feet in heels) of a beat down***.
Again, I, personally, have never fought anybody despite many opportunities for it growing up in St. Louis. I was afraid of ending up in the “school-to-prison pipeline” before I even knew what that was called. Also, I’m someone who freezes in tense situations, not fights or flights, so I may also be a “punk” as the kids in St. Louis used to say.
I once “almost” fought a girl. Which was more like I threatened to fight a girl who was picking on my younger sister. In a bizarre twist, after having scared the girl with the looming threat of older “high school girls” coming to beat her 8th grade ass, she became obsessed with being my friend once she got to high school. This was much to the chagrin of my baby sister who ascribes to the “Rick Ross” philosophy of “God forgives. I don’t.” Cross the Baby Snob and you pretty much have an enemy for life, beef will always be real and there’s nothing you can do about it. (She gets it from our Grandmother.)
All this is to say, the sister bond is real. And if her sister doesn’t like you (mentally ill, drunk or indifferent) she will probably never like you. Not if you are polite. Not if you’re a “good guy.” (Tip: She does not think you’re a good guy.) Not even after you two have a kid and she LOVES the kid, but still looks at you side-eyed even though that kid is half you. Not if you’re both dressed for “Rich People Prom” and the fight, if it gets out, will make you all look bad.
As someone who has two sisters who have never liked anyone the other sister has dated since time immemorial, this is simply a possible outcome of when your sister-in-law doesn’t like you. Doesn’t think you’re funny. Takes everything you say really personal. And possibly has a short fuse anyway.