How does a man strike up a conversation with a woman without coming off as street harassment? Twitter user @UJohnsmeyer   posed the that question in defense of men who may want to strike up innocent conversation with women.  That question led to an online discussion about harassment of women.

And the #NotJustHello hashtag was created. Take a look at the conversation below.

Clutchettes, have you ever been approached by someone and didn’t consider it “street harassment”?

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  • somethingfortheppl

    Clutchettes, have you ever been approached by someone and didn’t consider it “street harassment”?

    yes they’re never black men though. Men of other races never talk to me the way black men do.

  • Michelle

    Yes, most of my interactions are polite and respectful.. now. When I was a teen, it was a different story.

    • ALM247

      Yes, it’s weird. As I said below, I did have a positive experience recently. There have been negative occurrences, also. It’s like these men sit around and train each other on what to say to a woman, and the training is completely off base and wrong. They need to resist saying anything outside of “hello”, “hi” or “how are you”. If they don’t get the response they want, they need to walk away peacefully.

      Sometimes people are going through things. If a woman rejects a man, she may not be interested, but she may also be going through something traumatic, like a death in the family. Romance may be the last thing on her mind.

  • N.B.

    this is thing for me…my own personal experience… i feel really bad for my fellow sistren out there because clearly this is an issue that has especially come to light the past year or so but the fact of the matter is this has NEVER happened to me. All of this has been enlightening for me as well.

    I know I’m not the prettiest flower in the garden so i guess thats why i have never experienced this as I am not attractive. Point being I’m struggling to relate…but i have empathy though so i pray this stops and men can be more enlightened..and 100% support all the millions of women it seems this has happened to

    • Brad

      I think it may be regional or maybe something more common in big cities. When ever I go to get a fish sandwich for the wife at the local shopping center in the heart of the hood. I started watching closely for “street harassment” incidents with the guys hanging under the tree or in front of shops.

      I rarely see anything like what I read about online. I really don’t see any of the guys harassing at all the young woman walking back and forth.

      I think some of it may have to do with everyone knowing each other or knowing each other’s people.

    • Kai26

      That isn’t how it works. The women who are harassed decide what is harassing behavior, not you, someone who doesn’t experience street harassment.

    • vintage3000

      So because YOU don’t see it happen at the fish fry, you are doubtful of the countless experiences you have read about from real life women. So you “think” it has to do with catcalled women somehow knowing the cretins who are verbally abusing them, or they “know each other’s people”. Gee, where have we heard that line of thinking before…

      To use your logic, I have never seen a Black man thrown down to the sidewalk by a racially profiling cop. Guess that means I can “think” the majority of those men somehow know these police officers for various reasons.

    • Me

      i don’t think that’s what he meant. he started by saying he thinks it might be regional… so maybe a lot of it is happening in bigger cities b/c folks DON’T know each other like they might in smaller cities. i kinda think it might be a big city thing too b/c i haven’t really gone through it that much since i left a major city & a lot of the comments i see online from other women who get it really bad tend to by nyc, philly, chicago… places like that. could be wrong but just a guess. i don’t think he was trying to state facts.

    • vintage3000

      Either way–just because he has not seen it does not mean it’s not a problem where he lives.

    • Brad

      No one said it wasn’t a problem. I read all the comments on the subject her and every place else and know it is a big problem.

      Feel better?

    • Brad

      Was just speculating on why the obove commentor may have ot seen it before, wasn’t trying to make it anything that deep.

  • Lakitha Goss

    Some men just do not understand the art of respectfully approaching a woman. I blame women who tolerate men approaching in an inappropriate manner. I will read a man who approaches me disrespectfully or who disregards my personal space. I have no problem letting them know how I feel.

    • ALM247

      You blame women for what comes from men’s mouths? What do you expect these women to do, slap every man that says something vulgar and end up catching an assault charge?

      I don’t believe you are the person in your gravatar. You could be anyone hiding behind a computer. Blaming women for the actions of disrespectful men, child please.

    • Kai26

      Men refuse to listen to women when we say what is an appropriate way to approach. They listen to other men who give them bad advice.

    • ALM247

      I agree with you on the lack of knowledge of what is appropriate. Where do these guys learn all of this mess, the barbershop? They are meeting up somewhere and being brainwashed with incorrect information in the process.

  • NBWX3

    1. When black men check for non-black women, and then black women feign “we don’t care”, but complain incessantly, I will remind you of this conversation, because this is one of the 1,000s of way you find yourself single, alone, & lonely.

    2. Unattractive men saying anything to uninterested women is street harassment. Women will be upset when attractive men ignore them. So, men will never take the SH activism seriously, because women have an entitlement complex.

    3. Get some money, and move to affluent neighborhoods. Stop asking low-end men to stop approaching you. Fat girls need love. Broke men need love too!

    4. Again, I say ignore Black Women altogether, problem solved!

    • ALM247

      You really love us! There is no way you wouldn’t spend this much of your time and energy on a website dedicated to black women if you didn’t have an obsession with us.

      By the way, people of both genders consider someone approaching them to be harassing them if they aren’t attracted to them. You should really get out of the house and experience life. Obsessing on this site and spewing hate is a waste of your time.

      Have a great weekend!!!!