When injustice strikes a Black man at any given moment there is a Black woman defending his honor. We march, protest, get arrested, shed tears and express our anger all for the glory of Black men. However, when it’s their turn to return the favor….crickets.

One of my favorite media mavens Demetria Lucas posed a question on Instagram that read:



“Where are all these ‘don’t judge,’ ‘hate the sinner, not the sin,’ ‘we don’t know the full story…’ responses when Black men get murdered by the police?

Like if you’re aware that cops kill Black men and you go outside, does that mean you must be okay with being killed?

I’m just asking ….for a friend :/”

It sparked conversation and many people commented below. Several women expressed their hurt and how “sickening” it is that “not a damn thing” is done to support Black women. Black men are not crying out in our defense. They’re not at city hall lobbing for stricter domestic violence laws. No heartfelt emotion to express their anger and rage when injustice strikes us. Not a single remorse shown.

Instead, Black men like Christopher Boykin (commonly known as Big Black), Indiana Pacer Paul George and Floyd Mayweather question us. They wonder, out loud might I add, sentiments such as: “She provoked him” or “She married him move on.”

Even worst, on Reddit one user stated, referring to Janay Rice, “It wasn’t him [Ray Rice] hitting her that knocked her out, but him hitting her and her hitting the rail on the elevator that knocked her out,”

Black men, when are you all going to step up and defend our honor? During slavery, wasn’t it the Black woman who nurtured your scars inflicted by the white man, who fed you and dished out relentless love? We birthed you, nursed you and raised you to be a strong, strapping fellow and this is how you repay us?

I could not have said it better than Julian Long, “When you look for ways to go easy on Ray Rice — you are doing two things: First, you’re telling black women, ‘Your lives and your sense of safety have less value to me than the recreational sports that I watch ritually’……You damage their feeling of safety with you.”

In the words of 2Pac, “I think it is time that you kill for your women, heal your women and be real to your women.”

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  • Darryl Hines

    Once again you drank the Kool-Aid. Divide and conquer is the name of the game. I can’t speak for black men as a whole, no more than you can be the voice of all black women. It’s the media that elevates these matters to national attention as they might tend to bury other circumstances. I applaud black women who take the lead and defend black men and black women but out of the women you named, where were the sisters coming to their defense? You must look in the mirror and direct your outrage at yourself, then the media and certainly brothers who don’t get involved in defending our people shouldn’t get a pass, either.

    • Honestly miss me with that “divide and conquer” mess okay. Why is it whenever there is an issue where black women are speaking about their feelings of hurt and abandonment in connection with black men all of a sudden it’s: “you’re dividing the community”? GTFOH with that. The problem is that you men have ALWAYS expected us to deal with issues against black manhood and put our issues to the side until later and later never comes.

  • Darryl Hines

    It is obvious that you are a very bitter woman. If I could apologize for all the brothers who hurt you and it would mean something to you I would. I hope that someday you can cast aside the pain and move forward in a positive manner. It’s not healthy to carry around such bitterness and negativity. I don’t know any women who feel the way you do and I’m glad I don’t.

    • Deflecting by calling me bitter, Good Job!!!! I can’t even take you serious.

    • Fatima

      Darryl, though I agree with some of your comments on this topic, I disagree with your comments to Annebeth66. Explain to me why a black woman has to be bitter when she expresses a controversial opinion about black men, especially one that is true. I have come to believe this is just a ploy to shame us to keep us from expressing an opinion. I am in no way a bitter, angry black woman, but I have noticed collectively, black men do not protect and defend black women as much as black woman support black men. Remember I said collectively, which means I am not lumping all black men in this category. There are some that do support black women but from my perspective, it is just not enough who do have our backs to make a difference. Over the years, I have read comments on many blogs and it is frightening the amount of hate some black men harbor toward black woman. I have noticed this in my personal life also, starting as young as a teenager. Look at this blog and read some of the comments and even though they are not hate-filled, I can’t really tell too much how many black men have the black woman’s back. Some come across as being defensive. If they are ones who support us, then there is no reason to be defensive.

      I would also like to weigh in on the Ray Price matter. Too many times over the years, when a non-black woman (especially a white woman) gets caught up in this type of controversy, the response is totally different. The public says it is okay if the husband, boyfriend loses everything they earned and even do jail time for abusing her. However, when a black woman is abused, many people look for a reason to blame her for her problems. I have seen this more times than I would like to so it is no point in anyone else being in denial about this.

  • annebeth66

    Black women have to face the fact that we are not a priority in Black men’s lives. Too many use and abuse women, then talk about us as if we are nothing but trash in the streets. It’s sad because when bad things happen to Black men, we are there to support them but it is very rarely reciprocated, when Black women are in need. The next time a Black man is choked or shot by the police, we should skip the protest and get a mani/pedi instead.

  • Darryl Hines

    Fatima, my opinion was that there are a lot of angry women who commented about the Ray Rice matter. Reading the comments I thought I detected a lot of hostility aimed at black men for what some women regard as our lack of support. I thought that the article itself was asinine because you can’t take one event (Rice beating his fiancé) and assess the general state and attitudes of all black men. It seemed to me that the bitter comments were based on individual experiences, and that’s valid, but you can’t label an entire race or gender based on the actions of a few. That someone like Floyd Mayweather, an abuser himself, stood up for Rice is inconsequential as a voice for all black men but he’s a celebrity and has access to the media and therefore his voice is heard. Overall, I believe that the vast majority of black men do not condone or indulge in violent acts against their spouses and loved ones. I grew up with five sisters, a phenomenal mother and father and as their only son was taught to respect and protect women. Even in my own affairs if things ever got heated I simply walked away and stayed away until things could be dealt with in a rational manner. Not all black men are unsupportive of black women and not all black women are bitter.

    • Fatima

      Darryl, I can see why you may detect hostility in some of the comments posted by black women on this matter. However, I don’t think the blog was just aimed at the Ray Price matter, even though it may have prompted it. At the beginning of the article, it states “when injustice strikes a Black man at any given moment there is a Black woman defending his honor. We march, protest, get arrested, shed tears and express our anger all for the glory of Black men. However, when it’s their turn to return the favor….crickets.” I believe she is speaking about the many times black women are on the front lines protesting the murders and mistreatment of black men such as Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, and the list can go on and is too large to name all the names here. But collectively, you don’t see the favor being returned to black women from black men.

      It is also rare that someone post a blog like this one regarding the lack of support from black men to black women. I don’t know any of the women personally that are posting on this blog but I do believe that a lot of black women are too intimidated to speak out on this subject, especially in cyberspace. So when someone does speak up, many black women feel compelled to finally get a chance to voice their opinions on the subject.