Add another celebrity to the list who is sharing aspects about her life, her success, and her regrets with Oprah Winfrey. Vivica A. Fox recently sat down for one of the talk show host’s Where Are They Now interviews and revealed her biggest regret.
“Do you ever miss being a mother?” Oprah asks.
That’s the biggest regret of my life that I have was that I didn’t have a child. But I’m a good godmother. I bring the best gifts and throw the best parties.
Fox, now 50, is not alone. The Pew Center says that almost one in five American women ends her childbearing years without offspring.
As a woman in her early 30’s with a desire to be somebody’s mommy, but seemingly with no baby making prospects, my biggest fear is that I will wake up one day and it will be too late to have a baby. Of course I can’t look into the future, but with each birthday, I wonder what should I do?
Should I just go on ahead and have a baby by a man who is not my husband, but could envision us being good co-parents? Even if this isn’t what I really want because what I really want is to have a husband and raise a child in a two parent household? Should I freeze my eggs now in case I’ll need them later? Should I consider a donor from a sperm bank? Should I become a foster mom? Or should I adopt a baby?
These are very real questions that I have to ask myself with each passing birthday. It’s difficult to be able to watch men without kids, who are knocking on 40, who can just gallivant and be footloose and fancy free because they know they can always pick someone younger and fertile to have their baby.
It is the difficult part of being a woman, especially nowadays when people are not adhering to the “traditional” trajectory of life: finish school, get married, buy a house, have some kids, etc. There is really no “right” way of doing things anymore.
It seems instead that the best way finding a right way that works for you and hoping you won’t have too many regrets.
What do you think about Vivica A. Fox’s statement?
Diana Veiga is a Spelman woman, a DC resident, and a freelance writer. Of course, she’s also on Twitter.