Screen Shot 2015-06-08 at 10.13.57 AMAhh, the single life. The freedom to do as you please without feeling guilty for not checking in and the burden of having no one to tell about your day. Many women are single by choice, while others find themselves involuntarily thrust into the single life following a break up. Either way, one of the best things about not being in a relationship is the time you have to work on bettering yourself — but are you stepping up to the plate? Or are you too busy focusing on that laundry list of reasons why no one has come along to fit your standards?

Taking the initiative to improve your overall presence in the world while single is not a testament to you needing improvement because you’ve found yourself without a mate. The truth is, we should all be working to improve who we are whether in or outside of a relationship just because we want to be the best, strongest, most capable, intelligent, confident, inspirational, secure versions of ourselves that we can be. As women, we often embark on this journey of self-discovery and self-improvement but are sometimes derailed by the notion that we should already be good enough as we are for whomever the next person is that we choose to allow into our lives on an intimate level such as a relationship. While partly true, we have to be careful not to get too caught up in the idea that continuous efforts to better ourselves aren’t a priority both before and during a relationship. Don’t just lure someone in with your shining qualities only to let them fade out once you get comfortable, stay on top of your game and be worth the wait!

Here are few things that are important to make sure you continue doing as you begin entering into new relationship territory.

Stay Confident
Vulnerability and submissiveness are endearing qualities that women bring to a relationship that allow us to find comfort in feeling secure enough to own our feminism by letting our guards down for our significant other, but being overly submissive or always vulnerable can off give off the vibe of low self-confidence. Just because you’ve found someone who you are beginning to trust with your emotions doesn’t mean you should slack on knowing who you are and what you bring to the relationship. And more times than not, a woman who is unafraid to embrace her vulnerability without losing her confidence is that more attractive in the eyes of her mate. Stay confident!

Keep Working Towards Your Own Set Of Goals
Ambition is often a key quality in women that attracts their future mate beyond just a late night hook up or a one-off phone conversation. However, once we begin working towards building a relationship, as natural nurturers, it’s easy for women to become so caught up in helping their significant other reach their goals that you let your own fall by the wayside. Before you know it, the very person you voluntarily pushed your goals aside for is questioning what happened to the ambitious girl they met when your relationship was brand new. Set your own goals and find a way to keep them as a priority while you do what you can to help the new person in your life achieve theirs.

Maintain A Physical Appearance That Keeps You Comfortable In Your Own Skin
Contrary to popular belief, being comfortable in your own skin is more important than looking the way you think the new person in your life wants you to look. Not because staying fit and healthy doesn’t matter, but because happiness exudes a beauty that takes over your body from the inside out. While it’s perfectly normal to want your significant other to make you feel beautiful, being around someone who isn’t comfortable with the way the look or requires constant reassurance from others can quickly begin to take a toll on a relationship. So whether it means hitting the gym a few extra days a week or switching up your personal style to better compliment your body type, take the initiative to maintain a physical appearance that you feel proud of and your new beau will likely fall in line.

Communicate Openly
As cliché as this one might sound, many of us go into new relationships with a boldness and fearlessness that makes the new person in our lives want to keep the lines of communication open. As things progress, it’s easy to scale back your level of honest communication to what you think makes your relationship run with ease…..but DON’T. The new person in your life likely fell in love with your ability to speak your mind and be upfront about what you want. So don’t change things up because you feel like they aren’t communicating as openly or because you think it’s what they want, ASK. Aim to keep the lines of communication as open as they were before you knew each other so well and you’ll both be better off.

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