I imagine life is pretty frustrating when you’re a heterosexual male who hates women but loves vagina.
— Lauren Chanel Allen (@MichelleHux) March 28, 2016
Several months ago I came across the tweet above and my eyes were forever opened. Enjoying sex with women and actually liking the beings that supply those pleasures are two very different things and, sadly, as the days go, by it seems more and more men fall into the latter category.
But as a woman it’s not okay to say that. It’s hating. It’s bitterness. It’s disappointment over not being chose. And men? The thought of them fessing up to actually hating women or calling out other men for doing so is as foreign as Black nominees at the Oscars. But finally, a superhero by the name of Damon Young has arisen from the ashes on Very Smart Brothas and called out the men who really, truly, deep down, want no parts of women — other than their lady parts.
In the article, “DEAR MEN WHO VERY OBVIOUSLY HATE WOMEN: DO YOURSELVES A FAVOR AND JUST ADMIT IT!,” Young compared subtle misogyny to ambiguous racism, writing, “If given the choice between clear racism and concealed and/or confusing racism, many of us (myself included) would choose the clarity. I also consider it to be, well, more honorable. As a person clearly stating that they don’t f-ck with you and your kind under any circumstances is quite a bit more honest and respect worthy than one who weasels and dog whistles around it.”
Facts. And so, he continued:
Anyway, if you happen to be a man who carries a very obvious animus towards women and you happen to be reading this, I believe you should do the same thing! Instead of doing things like pursuing very public PhDs in Social Media Rape Apologia — and leaving everyone confused about why you’ve decided to cape so hard for that cause — why not just come out and embrace the misogyny? Lift your head, bare your chest, and exclaim to the universe that you’re just not that into things like “women having agency” and “women feeling safe” and “women possessing thoughts that are not the thoughts I happen to possess” and “women working at Home Depot.” Stop using “females” as a substitute for “b-tches” and just come out and let your b-tch spouting flag fly. And while that flag is flapping in the wind — naked and free — admit that while you do enjoy “f-cking b-tches” (and very much wish to continue to do that), you “don’t really f-ck with b-tches all like that.” Instead of tuning your bat signal to a specific frequency that only lets you know when and where a man is being criticized by a woman or accused of something by a woman so you can rush to blindly defend him, just say “I don’t care about — or even know about — what he did. I just don’t want b-tches to win.”
And then Young even had to call us women out for sometimes being more concerned about our brothas — the ones who don’t give a damn about us — than we are each other, writing:
“I’m aware there are quite a few incentives to attempt to conceal your hate. I imagine it may be more difficult to sleep with, marry, have children with, garner support from, eat food cooked by, accept car loan cosigns from, “borrow” Netflix passwords off of, and go to movies and shit with women if you make it plain that you hate them. But alas, doing this will help you identify yourselves to your sisters-in-arms — women who kinda, sorta hate women too. Which will now give them the confidence and the freedom to freely admit that they kinda, sorta hate women instead of leaving everyone confused about why they feel the need to do so much to support and defend men accused of doing sh-tty-ass sh-t to women.”
Ouch. But again I say facts. For sometimes we’re just as guilty of assuming an anti-black male agenda to excuse the behavior of a man rather than having empathy for the women who’ve been hurt by them. And as for the fellas, yes, I’d much rather know where I stand with you from the jump than be sideswiped by deep-seeded hatred.