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Monday Nov 2, 2009 – By Tonya Mosley

I vividly remember the day I got my first relaxer. I was 7 years old, and there I sat in my mother’s kitchen anxiously anticipating my chance to have straight hair. Before this monumental stage in life, my mother would struggle with my hair every week, washing and styling it was a two day ordeal — two days of torture! Washing, detangling, hot combing and then styling. I learned early on that my hair was both a virtue (so many people commented on how beautiful and long it was) as well as a curse.

Well on this day, the day of my first relaxer…those days of torture were behind me…or so I thought. What I experienced for the 20 years that followed was a ritual of putting this dangerous chemical on my hair every 8 weeks, enduring burns, breakage and dryness, in the quest for straight hair. A funny story — one time in college the salon’s water was shut off while the relaxer was on my head! I had to run across the street to an insurance office — my stylist frantically trying to rinse the relaxer off my burning scalp in the bathroom sink!

Early on as a television reporter, I felt it was a necessity to have bouncy straight hair. No one ever told me I had to have it, but I’d never seen anyone on television with natural hair.

Early on as a television reporter, I felt it was a necessity to have bouncy straight hair. No one ever told me I had to have it, but I’d never seen anyone on television with natural hair. The goal, or so I thought, was to blend in, and that’s what I tried desperately to do. When I first started out at a small station in Fort Wayne, Indiana, I’d often drive 4 hours to Chicago, just to get my “creamy crack.” What I would later realize is that by being my true authentic self — I am a stronger reporter. It really wasn’t until experiencing the life changing event of having a child that I realized this.

Two years ago, I had a daughter with a full head of curly hair. In my womb the ultrasound technician said she could see her hair floating in my amniotic fluid. Soon after she was born I started to stress. Even though I never thought about the pain and physical ramifications of putting chemicals on my head every month — I certainly didn’t want my daughter to take on this “tradition.” I wanted her to love herself — and her curls. This revelation also made me question my own feelings about my hair, and I realized I never had a chance to really know what my real texture was like. I’d only associated my curly kinks with pain — I decided to find out, for myself and my daughter.

This posed a bit of a problem for me, because I was certainly sure this decision would have an affect on my career in broadcasting. At the same time, I’d become so into being an example for my daughter, I decided to take the plunge. Last month I went to a salon and asked the stylist to chop off my relaxed ends. She wouldn’t do it, so I went home and did it myself.

After getting it lined up and shaped by a barber, I took another plunge and wore it to work! I don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my life! My heart was in my throat as I walked into the newsroom, where I was met by my boss. She said, “Oh my God! You look awesome!” I almost cried! The response has been overwhelmingly positive. What was I so afraid of?

For more of Tonya Mosley make sure to visit www.king5.com.

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17 Comments – Add Yours

  1. Belkis Belkis says:

    Great story. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Jazmine Jazmine says:

    I agree beautiful story! Its sad that we all go with what’s accepted and think we have to follow their rules. It’s great when you can get it and learn to be you and be happy about it. I for one love seeing women of all shades and hair types behind the camera. You are on your way up! Congrats on everything!

  3. FAYMOUS FYA FAYMOUS FYA says:

    What a sad experience us black girls have had. DE-CROWNED basically imagine its taken us 500 years to begin to pry the evil monkey of pyscological oppression off of our backs. Ive natural for five years and the experience becomes more endearing special and magical and insightful every year. God himself has WHOLLY hair i feel weve been blind to the God in us for 500 years, unable to build his kingdom on earth the way he intended it to be buit. fighting ourselves and his image of love. I DUNNO YALL 4 beauty tips I encourage you ladies to look towards Africa because As a matter of opinion, it is on those runways that we can locate and build upon the styles that are the most becomming of who we were born to be.

  4. FAYMOUS FYA FAYMOUS FYA says:

    Check out this YOU TUBE VIDEO. This sister has a sick twist on a tribal low fro!!!!

  5. Laquita Laquita says:

    Very inspirational :o)

  6. Chelsea Chelsea says:

    I’m so happy for Tonya making the change!!! I believe you look great also, Tonya!!! I too am looking forward to my 1 yr anniversary without the crack-a-laxer on Nov. 12, 2009.

  7. Audrey Audrey says:

    I have never seen a natural reporter and your voice is awesome! You project a very powerful image as a naturalista!

  8. Tiana Tiana says:

    You look great, Tanya and I’m so glad your sporting your TWA in my hometown of Seattle! Many ladies out there are reluctant to embrace their natural hair so having you to admire on King5 will do wonders for many. Enjoy your natural journey!

  9. Great story and you do look awesome!

  10.  Nyota says:

    You look so beautiful! Thanks for sharing. I have to add that sometimes even though we embrace natural some of us can be so scared of wearing our natural hair out because its a TWA or hasn’t reached the length we want. Instead of embracing the natural we become obsessed with length. I’m inspired.

  11. faymous fya faymous fya says:

    o my I didnt even recognize you!!! Ive seen you on t.v with your straight hair it was so long..Congratulations sista u look beautiful

  12. Shani Anona Shani Anona says:

    Wow Tonya Mosley, it was kismet that I read your post today! It is the divine answer to my post about an unsavory experience I had recently with a relative about my natural hair and finding employment. I would be honored if you would read it and if inspired, please share your thoughts. “I’m Not My Hair”- (http://sanona.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/im-not-my-hair/). A little devil on my shoulder caused me to question if I would be judged by employers for rocking my beautiful natural hair. And I’ve been told that in past history businesses preferred the straight look for all employees regardless of ethnicity. But we are living during the day of President Obama and a change has definitely come. I concluded that if I’m turned down for being myself and loving my true natural essence than that isn’t the job for me. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It was just the encouragement that I needed to read!

  13. OWright OWright says:

    Often our fears are much worse than the actual thing we much face. I’m glad that the reactions to your natural hair were positive.

    I’ve been natural for about two years now, have been locing ‘for 6 months and I get so many more compliments on my hair now.

    Great story thanks for posting! :)

  14. Lori Lori says:

    Go’head girl, represent! I thought it was both interesting and telling that your hair stylist refused to cut your hair. What I’ve discovered is that some of the younger sister stylist either don’t know how or are afraid to deal with natural hair. How sad. Glad things worked out in your case. Kudos to your boss for being so supportive.

  15. Tonya Mosley Tonya Mosley says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! It is so heartwarming to read everyone’s positive comments. Belkis, FamousFYA, Jasmine, Laquita, Audrey, Demetria, Nyota, OWright and Lori, thanks!

    @Chelsea, congrats on your 1 yr. anniversary, I can’t wait until I’m there!
    @Tiana, thanks for watching KING 5, I’m glad I can be an inspiration, and it’s nice to know you’re out there.
    @Shani, great story, I’m glad you went with your heart…you look beautiful. I’ll be checking out your website.

  16. who hoo for the happy nappies! i just did my big chop october 21 and i’m loving it!

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