Comments on: The Type of Men Naturals Attract

By: von

von — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 17:08:05 +0000

honestly i get more flack about my natural 4a/b hair from black women than men. When i wear it in a huge fro or afro puff they always assume i never get my hair done when in actuality i wear it straight, twisted, weaved up, braided etc. They think because i dont have “good hair” i should not have went natural. Which sometimes makes me mad. Like one time a woman with natural hair that was wavy (what some people would call “good hair”)asked me why dont i just perm my hair. Most men on the other hand ask me can they touch it and seem amazed by it. I guess some men are turned off by it but i wouldnt want someone that shallow to approach me anyway. At the end of the day i love my “nappy hair” and thats all that matters to me!

By: Loquacious_

Loquacious_ — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:58:20 +0000

I have natural hair and I didn’t attract the “Dwele or Maxwell type.” I attracted white men. I will have white men and white women tell me that they like my natural hair more than when it is pressed straight. It’s funny, when I went to a job interview for a staff attorney position in a non-profit law firm, I wore my afro. It was fluffed and big. Three people interviewed me, two attorneys that were white and one paralegal that was black. After the interview, the black paralegal pulled me to the side and told me that I would have to straighten my hair if I got a job offer. In the second interview, I asked the white attorney if my hair would be a problem or a distraction because I wanted to wear it natural and they were shocked by my question. The white folks didn’t notice that my hair was natural, they said, “we just see hair. We didn’t think there was anything distracting about it.”

It is a shame that some black people (emphasis on the word “some”) see hair and then the person while some white folks see just the person.

By: Christine

Christine — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 05:33:35 +0000

Great article. As a natural black woman growing dreads, I can certainly relate to the other comments. I get hit on by black men, but usually they are men who are too young, or waaay older than me. But the response from black men, seems to be more positive. As far as white men, I noticed I seem to attract more vocally blunt white men who seem to think that they can say anything to me for some reason. And it’s usually sexual. The response from white men for me has always been mixed. It almost seems as if the white men are looking at me as some sort of exotic rare piece of meat or something. And they usually turn out to be men who usually don’t date black women.

By: Leslee Hussein-Charisse

Leslee Hussein-Charisse — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 19:03:51 +0000

I had just beyond shoulder length relaxed hair for most of my life. Durin a brief stint I shaved it off and kept it very close to my hair because I worked upwards of 50-60 hours per week in a kitchen then grew it back out to the same shoulder length straight mass… I was in a relationship at the time with someone who just wanted my hair neat… (I believe he secretly liked it long though) LOL

Several years back I opted to stop relaxing but kept pressing my hair. Last December I decided to get sisterlocks. The backlash was horrible “Why would you do that to your pretty hair?” as if pretty was only straight.

I don’t know that the caliber of men that I attract is any different. It runs the gamut as always.

By: Kat

Kat — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:01:33 +0000

@ms.jal–
At least I can say that I know how to work my natural hair!

I was sick of the perms and burns and my mother’s insistance of getting them. I was 19 when I got my last perm (I’m 25 now). I had burns so bad and I decided I wasn’t going to go thru that torture anymore. I cut my hair and let it grow. I was surprised at my natural hair. It is thick and wavy (I have 3b/3c hair). I really didn’t need to torture it at all. Just wash and wear! I get a lot of compliments from everyone, esepcially women who come up to me and ask where I get my hair done, cos it looks like I had rods put in (I tell them apolgetically that it’s my natural look! no rods!)

Men esepcially want to touch my hair. I dunno why it facinates them. My hair is more big than long, grr. I guess on my good days, the Shirley Temple look gets to them, haha.

I do have haters that call me Sideshow Bob, but they’re just jealous that I can just hop out of bed, throw some water on my head, shake it out and I’m done. :)

By: ms.jai

ms.jai — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:28:30 +0000

nappy hair is NOT attractive period. If you put 2 people in a room, a person with silky hair and a person with frizzy coarse hair everyone epecially women will come up 2 the individual with good hair and tell them how beautiful it is. the only reason why a lot of black females go natural is because their hair got 2 damaged from perming and they don’t know wat else 2 do with it.

By: TJ

TJ — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:37:32 +0000

PeachyKeen:

Trust me, it is so easy for women with relaxers to THINK that they chose to get a relaxer. Media is so influential in our decisions. So many women think that they ‘prefer” relaxed hair…”it just doesn’t look good on” them. Those are lame excuses. I have heard countless of idiots say that they didn’t want a girl with a nappy kitchen, or that they like “long haired, thick, red bones”…..Let’s get real here. We know these hair wars exist, and you don’t eliminate them by pretending they don’t exist. It’s always the brainwashed ones handing out advice. Get a grip……

And yes, I do believe that natural women attract more white men that Black men. Alot of Black men are sleep or unconscious and still believe in Eurocentric standards of beauty.

By: Free Games

Free Games — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 19:48:47 +0000

Natural is always beautiful and I think that it is not only about men getting attracted to something natural within us but the fact that this inner beauty and attraction holds on for a lifetime.

By: lashonda

lashonda — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:35:55 +0000

I definantely agree that men who love your natural hair are very rare gems. My family isn’t that supportive of my decision to go natural, and I was just about to just forget about it all and go back to my perm when I met this guy who was wonderful. He just fell in love with my natural beauty…no make-up needed, no perm required.

By: ayomide

ayomide — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 15:58:36 +0000

Having natural hair and getting attention depending on where you live can be a problem. When I started wearing my hair natural I was in VA and was getting no love, not the type of love I got when I had straight long hair. I had guys lined up when I rocked my wrap hair style, even in a messy ponytail. So I know it was because of my hair. I kept my hair nicely twisted like I do know, no frizzy mess. After I moved to NY had no problem in fact there was so much competition because there were women everywhere with natural, locked hair. This where I met my husband. He likes my hair not matter how I wear it as long as I am happy he is happy. When we met I had braids. He does want me to either brush or cut keep the back of neck so it isn’t a out of control. He does tease me, I hear the side show bob thing when I wash my hair and show him how big it is but I tease him also cause he is bald. We are in Oakland now and older men give me compliments- I am talking like men in their 50’s and up! I guess I remind them of a time when….. Their compliments make me feel good because it sweet. If I wasn’t married I could have a suga daddy.
Seriously, this is a problem for natural haired women and it has to stop. There was a time when black was beautiful and it still is we just need for everybody to believe that. Natural, straight it doesn’t matter