Fashion > Baby…What Do You Think?
February 1, 2008 — By Filthy and Kristy
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I’m Filthy, a New York born, loud mouth aspiring music impresario. She’s Bella, a non-profit spindoctor southern belle. We’re based in Brooklyn and Clutch is crazy for letting us talk the mess that comes out of our mouths when we’re at home in front of the TV.
Alicia Keys
Filthy: Looks like Alicia Keys pulled her outfit from George Lucas’ Star Wars costume closet.
Bella: It’s a reflection of the times we live in, baby. That neckline is bulletproof. Bedazzled Kevlar—I heard that’s what’s hot in the streets for ‘08.
Filthy: Looks like Alicia Keys pulled her outfit from George Lucas’ Star Wars costume closet.
Bella: It’s a reflection of the times we live in, baby. That neckline is bulletproof. Bedazzled Kevlar—I heard that’s what’s hot in the streets for ‘08.
Vivica Fox
Filthy: I’ve never been a big fan of Vivica, but she looks kinda sexy in this. I think I just like the whole little Greek fantasy thing she’s got going on. Role playing is sexy!
Bella: Stop being fresh! She looks like she’s channeling Diahann Carroll in Dynasty. (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/Dominiqued.jpg)
Filthy: I’ve never been a big fan of Vivica, but she looks kinda sexy in this. I think I just like the whole little Greek fantasy thing she’s got going on. Role playing is sexy!
Bella: Stop being fresh! She looks like she’s channeling Diahann Carroll in Dynasty. (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/Dominiqued.jpg)
Scary Spice
Filthy: Is she doing her best Norbit impression?
Bella: Focus on the outfit, baby. I usually hate overly matched ensembles . . . yup, and I still do. What about her dude though?
Filthy: He looks creepy. Everything from his outfit to his face is scary. He has this dirty uncle thing going on.
Filthy: Is she doing her best Norbit impression?
Bella: Focus on the outfit, baby. I usually hate overly matched ensembles . . . yup, and I still do. What about her dude though?
Filthy: He looks creepy. Everything from his outfit to his face is scary. He has this dirty uncle thing going on.
Erykah Badu
Filthy: The Boho gals are gonna hate me for this but lawd, Erykah looks like she just had a rough night on the town with Amy Winehouse.
Bella: Her purse and her hair got into a fight in the back seat. The purse won. However—HELLO PUMPS!
Filthy: Wait, is that a purse or her back up wig?
Filthy: The Boho gals are gonna hate me for this but lawd, Erykah looks like she just had a rough night on the town with Amy Winehouse.
Bella: Her purse and her hair got into a fight in the back seat. The purse won. However—HELLO PUMPS!
Filthy: Wait, is that a purse or her back up wig?
Ashanti
Filthy: Ashanti’s on her way to reggaeton night at Boys & Girls High School in Brooklyn!
Bella: BOK BOK! That pose is so “I grew boobies over the summer—SEE!”
Filthy: Ashanti’s on her way to reggaeton night at Boys & Girls High School in Brooklyn!
Bella: BOK BOK! That pose is so “I grew boobies over the summer—SEE!”
Kelis
Filthy: Why does Kelis’ high waisted jeans look like mom jeans?
Bella: I think because the hem is too short, and that blue sweater is too short. OMG! Is the fur on the little sweater or on the jacket? I can’t deal. HOT MESS FROM TOP TO BOTTOM. Except the purse by Head Porter . . .
Filthy: Why does Kelis’ high waisted jeans look like mom jeans?
Bella: I think because the hem is too short, and that blue sweater is too short. OMG! Is the fur on the little sweater or on the jacket? I can’t deal. HOT MESS FROM TOP TO BOTTOM. Except the purse by Head Porter . . .
Jennifer Hudson
Filthy: I think we should include a Jenny Hudson photo in all our columns cause the boys like her.
Bella: The girls do, too. Another example of stellar cleavage presentation. BRAVA BITCH! I’d love to have seen a corseted top with this outfit though . . . what she has on now looks like fancy white Spanx.
Filthy: I think we should include a Jenny Hudson photo in all our columns cause the boys like her.
Bella: The girls do, too. Another example of stellar cleavage presentation. BRAVA BITCH! I’d love to have seen a corseted top with this outfit though . . . what she has on now looks like fancy white Spanx.
Tyra Banks
Filthy: Her dress looks like it was made from feathers of an aging Big Bird.
Bella: Today on Tyra, dust the house and be red carpet ready—all with one dress!
Filthy: Her dress looks like it was made from feathers of an aging Big Bird.
Bella: Today on Tyra, dust the house and be red carpet ready—all with one dress!
Eve
Filthy: Eve was all smiles as she arrived at the funeral for her Hip-Hop career.
Bella: For future reference, commemorating a brawl with a small wild cat on your cleave is never a good look.
Filthy: Eve was all smiles as she arrived at the funeral for her Hip-Hop career.
Bella: For future reference, commemorating a brawl with a small wild cat on your cleave is never a good look.
Mary J. Blige & Rosario Dawson
Filthy: I’m usually all about Rosario and I love Mary, but Jesus, they look like two prowling spinsters at their 20th high school reunion.
Bella: They are looking rather cougar-ish posing in front of the dip. Mary has come a LONG way though. Even with her Little Boy Blue haircut.
Filthy: I’m usually all about Rosario and I love Mary, but Jesus, they look like two prowling spinsters at their 20th high school reunion.
Bella: They are looking rather cougar-ish posing in front of the dip. Mary has come a LONG way though. Even with her Little Boy Blue haircut.
Rihanna
Filthy: Photos like this bother me cause we should be seeing a much better angle of Rihanna’s great legs.
Bella: Agreed. But this whole outfit irks me. It just looks so Lisa Turtle. (http://losangeles.metromix.com/content_image/full/155235/419/419)
Filthy: Photos like this bother me cause we should be seeing a much better angle of Rihanna’s great legs.
Bella: Agreed. But this whole outfit irks me. It just looks so Lisa Turtle. (http://losangeles.metromix.com/content_image/full/155235/419/419)
Beyonce
Filthy: I get the glam thing that Beyonce is always going for but—is it just me or is this much fur a bit frightening?
Bella: She’s one beaver hat away from a PETA paint-assault.
Filthy: I get the glam thing that Beyonce is always going for but—is it just me or is this much fur a bit frightening?
Bella: She’s one beaver hat away from a PETA paint-assault.
Venus Williams
Filthy: Her beach towel is so versatile!
Bella: And absorbent! It’s 125 degrees in there and she’s sweatin’ like a whore in church . . . but we’re NONE the wiser. Brilliant.
Filthy: Her beach towel is so versatile!
Bella: And absorbent! It’s 125 degrees in there and she’s sweatin’ like a whore in church . . . but we’re NONE the wiser. Brilliant.
Veronica Webb
Filthy: Wow. She looks like an extra on Yo Gabba Gabba! (www.yogabbagabba.com)
Bella: I think it’s a fashion torture device. The beads keep shrinking until you’re smothered by the scarfs and then your head pops off . . .ugh. that’d be A LOT of red.
Filthy: Wow. She looks like an extra on Yo Gabba Gabba! (www.yogabbagabba.com)
Bella: I think it’s a fashion torture device. The beads keep shrinking until you’re smothered by the scarfs and then your head pops off . . .ugh. that’d be A LOT of red.
“Little boy blue haircut” PRICELESS! You two are hilarious! Keep it coming!
You guys are a mess ! LOVE IT .. and yes I’m a Beyonce fan But I think PETA will be giving her a House Call ! LOL
wow.
can someone zoom in on Vivica and make sure that the scars from breast surgery aren’t showing this time?
I can’t handle badu and her on going Wig-gate. But her new song is sooo banging!
Have Ashanti’s breast always been that perky?? Man, spaghetti straps and they are still solid. Wow. I like Kelis despite all. She excites me! no comment man.
But JennyHud’s milkshake does bring all the boys to her yard. Im down like 4 flats - and I’m lactose intolerant. Still down.
Why do Mary J and Eve look like mom and daughter? Soon to compete on Crowned?? 1nce love Rosaria D and still do but… well said. Eeeesh.
Venus Fly Trap - I meant Williams could be so much more elegant. I genuinely like her and has a long slender physique that could be so stunning with the right look. I have yet to see her in some banging heels, and a stunning dress. I get the impression she may not know how to walk in anything past a Reebok flat man… :(
Didn’t mean to highjack Filth. You my man! Waddup Bella! Too long… love!
H!
LOL.. you guys have me over here dying! it’s scary that I’m not the only person who actually knows about the program Yo GabbaGabba.
LoL!!! y’all sooooo wrong! soooo wrong…i love it!
Hilarious! Beyonce and that freakin fur - it is tooooo much!
Hilarious!!
These comment were right on. I love Bee but she looks a mess and all that fur was a bit overkill!
And what she bout to go record, she looks like she’s on a mission?
You two are a hot buttered MESS!! LOL!! You should really take it on the road and I am serious about that too! You guys make Joan Rivers seem like a an old persian cat in comparison. Very on point with the comments and keep it coming.
LOVE IT!!! LOL…this is some funny stuff…and ya’ll are the cutest couple!
WOW they let you two BACK IN! Was sure after the sexy ninja comment and the like, it would be a wrap.
So glad you’re around.
LOL!
loves this…
How come homie with Scary Spice look like an anorexic Sinbad? And I’m telling you Badu was trying to rescue that joint - before Beyonce ran off and had it skinned into a jacket.
B look like an extra from Red Sonja. That’s not a camera in her hand, it’s a magical dagger that can only be used by the pure of heart to slay the Soul Beast of Carniferious (aka Aretha Franklin)
I think I’m gay for MJB, if I ever meet her I’ll get all “HAAAAAY MAARYY! I KNOW YO PAIIIN GUUURL! OOOOOH! WOO WOO WOOOO!” I remember back in the ‘real love’ days she shot a video at my boy Lydells crib; on his stoop and on his moms bed. His moms caught him later that day humping the bed and told EVERYBODY. he wasn’t even ashamed, he just said “Ya’ll would too!” and he was right.
rosario, I’d have her babies, still. she just gets better looking as she gets older imo.
tyra & J Hud - shhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiit I need all that thickness wrapped around me. Tyra can even wear that ugly ass Emu gown, it’ll just make me want to take it off faster. she looks like she’s hunting Gelflings.
J-Hud looks fucking perfect in that picture, got the bol legged stance and everything. I might just have to *right click>save as* that bad boy. I’m trying to bring a brickhouse to my brownstone
i kinda choked on my spit when i read these. you two tag team like old WWF. “little boy blue”….*chuckles*
YALL THINK JUST LIKE ME! And I love that Bella puts that “fiesty-no-nonsense” southern charm on whatever she says. We southern girls know whats up! Love the back and forth banter, too!
brilliant.
I am at work trying to staifle a tremendous “whoop” you two have absolutely no sense! I love it, esp the Ashanti, Kelis and Mary/Rosario comments