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Who can take out a housemaid with a single Smackberry? Who can rock community service hours in New York City’s Sanitation Department in a pair of Christian Louboutins? Who can make Italian mega-moguls open up their bank accounts and toss out multi-million dollar yachts like so many peppermints?
Naomi Campbell, can…that’s who.
Come on now, Naomi is just the baaaaaaaadest feline to ever meow her way down a catwalk. THE and END. I could give a damn what the haters say, and they do say some stuff about ya girl; she’s a diva, she’s a bad role model, she’s immature, she’s got too much forehead, she don’t look so great without her makeup, she’s too weavalicious, she’s got too many assault and battery charges…you know, the same ol’, same ol’. You know something? They’re right. She is a bitch. She does need anger management classes…ummmm…frequently. She does assault the po-po and a few too many innocent domestic staff, unnecessarily. Her weaves are (sometimes) hellacious and she’s not exactly the poster girl for emotional health. But, having said all that….when it comes to my intense, obsessive love of Naomi, Alicia’s song says it best, “No one, no one, no ooooooone, can get in the way of what I’m feeling.”
I know it’s sorta wrong that I cheer when I hear Naomi’s gone and attacked some more airport security guards in London’s Heathrow Airport, or to feel like high-fivin’ her because she eats paparazzi and little boys for breakfast, spits out the pits and then reapplies her lip-gloss. But, it’s sorta right, too. I mean, love her or hate her, no one can question the fact that her very existence, her breathtaking beauty (a divine fluke, for which she can’t take credit), has profoundly impacted Black images in fashion for the better. No, she wasn’t the first (head nod to Beverly Johnson, Iman, Naomi Sims), she wasn’t the last (shout out to Alec Wek, Tyra, Selita Ebanks, Liya Kibede, Chanel Iman, etc.), but she was THE GREATEST. I know there are plenty of people who are SCREAMING at their computer screens right now, in utter opposition with me on that, but I betcha about 75% of them secretly know it’s true, just don’t want to give the lady her due because she can have a stank attitude. There, I said it.
But, here’s another twist. I think the very fact that she had/has such a stank attitude is another way in which she inadvertently contributed to “the cause.” Before Naomi, everyone was tippy-toeing around the images of Black Women in the media, scared to be politically incorrect. Remember when every Black chick on the soaps had to be the “sweet” girl? It was nauseating. Television and film producers were so scared of being called out for promoting racist stereotypes (the mammy, the whore, the eye-rolling bitch) that they played it safe with these saccharine-Y sweet, erroneously angelic images of “sisters”. It was a total snooze-fest. Then came NAOMI, causing disturbances on planes, throwing temper tantrums in eighteen-star hotel rooms and tossing cell phones in places no decent human beings should toss them. And, I was like….HALLELUJAH, we’re free!!
Let me clarify, because I really don’t want to glorify bad behavior. That’s not what this is about. What I mean is, Naomi’s tempestuous, incendiary temper helped to free us from being trapped into a suffocating, limited definition. She opened up possibilities, helped to show America, show the world, the immense and beautifully complex range of who we are, both good and bad. Even she, the bitch of all bitches (and, I say that with the utmost admiration), is more than one thing. Yes, she’s hell on legs (arguably the most magnificent legs on the planet), but she’s also a deeply compassionate human being, offering her time and name to endless charitable efforts (British Red Cross work in Somali relief efforts, frequently teaming up with Nelson Mandela in South Africa –despite being uninvited to his 90th b-day bash-, going to Moscow to help raise money for children with cancer, on and on and on). Before you say that all of this just for good PR and to improve her rep, I’d argue, this lady has been doing her thang for charity, year in and year out, way too long and with far too much frequency for it to be all for “show”.
I just saw a pic of Naomi online today, which was what got me going off on this Naomi-Adoration rant. And, it made me smile. And, it made me laugh. And, it made me feel so, so fierce and remember that I can DO anything, too. So, I am grateful and ask you again…
Who can fall on her ass on a runway and still look like a goddess?
Answer: Naomi can.
Who can raise money for Katrina victims one day, and hob nob with Andre Léon Talley the next?
Answer: Naomi can.
Who can say, “I have to jet,” and mean it, literally (as in, off on a private “j” to sun myself in Ibiza, while scantily-clad Spanish boy-toys feed me grapes)?
Answer: Naomi can.
Who makes the other “super” models call in sick when she hits a runway because they don’t want to get WALKED the h*ll OFF?
Answer: Naomi Campbell, the baaaaaadest, most willful, explosive, paradoxical, amazing creature to EVER meow her way down a catwalk, Naomi Campbell — that’s who.
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*looks at framed Vogue Italia with Na-Na on the cover*
*nods proudly*
I got a feeling that Sessilee Lopez will be carrying that torch if someone ever obtains the Excalibur to slain Naomi…that’s the only way to put that dragon queen down.
I agree with the Author Naomi is fieeeerce and I Love her!
I agree, Naomi is fierce, I agree Naomi walks the runway like no other, I agree she has a huge heart because I have seen real tears come from her efforts in Africa and when she speaks, I hear sincerity. What I don’t agree with is linking her emotional behavior to bitchiness. Her behavior comes from pain, something that needs attention. She too beautiful inside and out to let it continue to go unattended. Oh, and by the way, when can we grow past the point of referring to one another as bitches? It’s not cute and it’s degrading no matter how it’s spun.
Please, don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel about Naomi! Always interesting to see how her fans perceive her. Keep writing from the heart. Keep bringing the fierce writing!
Naomi was born to be a diva!
Oh my gloriousnessss….. Na Na is so fierce!!! I love her and her choclatque self… she is the badessssss sista in town and I agree with the writer.. it made people sit up and take notice. We are all not sweet, we are who we are and there is no fault in that… Naomi is an ‘emotional woman’ so what is wrong with that, she is HUMAN! I love her and she is the DIVA that I want to ‘grow up to be, badness and all… nuff said!
Love Love Love her, totally agree with the author: She’s the baaadddest! When I was younger, I had tons pics of her up on my wall. I looked up to her.
She’s so beautiful and fierce. We love her for the diva that she is.
My dirty little secret: I’m drooling over her hot russian billionaire boyfriend, Vladimir Doronin! Yummy… she sure has great taste in men too ;)
Def. agree with the author on this one! Naomi is a baaddd bitch lol. She knows her assets and she works it to her advantage aka getting that money and dating rich men, I’m all for it!
I loved this piece. Very witty!
We all have to walk to the beat of our drum… and Ms. Campbell definitely does that.
Looking forward to reading more of your work on Clutch.
I too plastered my bedroom walls with magazine pictures of Naomi.
She is a terrible role model, but she holds a special place in my heart. Back when light skin was in, Ms. Campbell repped for us dark skinned divas.
She’s who I pray to at night. And when someone stutters and says “you know who you look like..” I wishfully blurt out NAOMI!!! to receive a dumbfounded look.
Get’s me a little chuckle every time. Oh let a girl can dream will ya!
I enjoyed reading this article. Naomi is definitely a bad mama jama
Well written, I like your style A.C.. I always liked Naomi, but now I am a fan. I would love to see her in a movie as a super hero or super villain (a villain that wins in the end) kicking some serious ass.
While I am partial to Iman, Naomi is baddddd. It’s undeniable. Gotta love her
I will concur that as far as models go black, white or other Naomi is an icon. I suppose you just have to seperate her contributions from her narcissim.
Naomi is NAOMI. Yeah she’s bad, and I love her. She’s a real person. She’s a complicated person, she makes for interesting chit chat.