Feature

Believing We Have a Purpose in Life: I Do, Do You?

Tuesday Apr 1, 2008 – By Tremaine L. Loadholt

I want to believe that right now at this very moment what I am typing for each of you will mean something; will spark some sort of edge in you that has been locked up for too long, and maybe now is the time for you to set it free. I want to know that before I am laid to rest, before I have taken my very last breath; my living, my learning, my faith and my actions have not been in vain. I want to die peacefully with the forethought, “I have singled out, conquered, and accomplished finding what my purpose in life” was. You are probably wondering why I am seemingly taking this article to a depth that perhaps some of you are not ready to meet at this point, but why not now. For the last few years, I have flitted with my ambitions and toyed with what I truly want out of and in life. I know for a fact that I wish to be stable, hold down a steady and fulfilling job, get married, mother children, see the world, and help others (no matter how little or how big this action is in theory).

What I have found to be the most tedious task is bringing this list of things mentioned above into fruition. I have accomplished both small and big goals set for myself in the past (graduating from high school, graduating from college, publishing a book, and being a role model) and I have set goals to accomplish in the future. The key to goal-setting (in my opinion) is to feel out things that matter most to you in which you know you will definitely succeed because you are going to pour your all and ten times more into getting them accomplished. Once I have set a list of goals for myself, I begin to take subtle action. Sometimes, I need a little boost. Other times, all I actually require is the thought, memory and recollection of things past.

I am not one who is afraid to take chances in life. I have picked up my belongings and moved from one state to another in hopes of making more money, seeing more people, and introducing myself to other cultures and art forms. This has proven to be one of the best decisions I have made in life (to date). I am also focused on making another change in my life soon that will actually aid in helping me save more, remain happy with my job, and later move out of this great state of North Carolina. I like to think of life as a learning tool. It is given to us so that we can make mistakes, document those same mistakes, and then learn from them. If we are stuck in the line of continuously circling about those same mistakes like a revolving door, then what are we learning? I have been thinking about my purpose. Why am I here? To whom must I satisfy (other than myself of course)? How big does my voice need to get to show the world I exist? I do not dote on a lot of attention or a spotlight (if you will), nor do I require my very own soapbox; so…what must be done for my theories, concepts, words, and thoughts to be felt, absorbed, and taken seriously? This, my dear people is what I am working on now. I want to be known not for the things I have done, but for the person I am. I want to live on even after I am dead. I want to be legendary. But, if this isn’t a part of my purpose, will it bloom?

Who gives us purpose? When do we find it? How do we obtain it? Is purposeful living greater than non-purposeful living? Who sets these standards? I do not have the answers to any of the questions above, I just know that I have a deep, intimate connection with thinking I am *here* for a reason. You may or may not agree with me. You may or may not feel the same. But, I live every second of my life knowing that tomorrow could not arrive. With this line of thinking, in essence, every day I am dying. So, I do not want to say I rush myself into achieving all of my goals, but I push myself with the constant reminder that there has to be a greater ending (or beginning) ahead. The journey that I will probably take to complete some of the things that are wedged deep into my soul will be a long and dreadful one. But, the outcome, the outcome will live on forever. When I have passed on and no longer connect or exist with the living, I want my tombstone to read, “Here lies a woman who lived, learned, and knew her purpose in life. May she rest in peace.” I have a purpose, I just haven’t found it yet.

Ms. Williams says:

April 1, 2008 at 8:37 am

Wonderful story. I too have a purpose in life and with God’s help I will acheive it. The only thing in life that we have left after we are gone is our reputation and we should guard it with all of our being.
Thanks Tre…

↑ Reply

Carolyn says:

April 1, 2008 at 1:28 pm

I wish I had the courage that you have. Just knowing you the short time that I have, you have truly been an inspiration to me. You have such a positive attitude and have displayed how to treat humans- with respect. From day one I knew you were a person I wanted to call my friend. My life has been touched by knowing you and I am thankful for that. I hope you reach all of the dreams that you have and knowing you….you will.

addie says:

April 1, 2008 at 3:19 pm

My sweet Tre, If making a difference in peoples lives was on your “to do” list… I say go ahead and put some notches in your belt!! I think that everyone that has been blessed enough to cross your path in one way or another will have a permanent memory of how great you are! You have touched us all through your graceful words, charming smile and trustworthy friendship. …Just think of your last article, how many people you inspired to pick up pen and paper and correspond with one another in a way that has the potential to make the
recipient as well as the writer have a brighter day. That article alone was great enough to be the beautiful beginning to reuniting a long lost freindship, rekindling a love…or simply just giving one the reason to smile. You could be the reason that a family finds their missing daughter, sister or wife. There is no limit to what you can do. Like I said earlier, if your goal is to make a difference in other’s lives : “JOB WELL DONE, TRE!”

tremaine says:

April 1, 2008 at 3:27 pm

hey you guys! thanks for reading and thanks for your beautiful words too :)

Zya says:

April 2, 2008 at 4:32 pm

I love your article. I was reading somewhere recently that our purpose in life is what we are doing at this time. Therefore we owe it to ourselves not only to be present in anything we are doing at the present moment but to put in our best that we can and as life changes, to have the permission to understand that we are achieving what we are supposed to. We all do, your article solidifies that you are living and achieving yours. Well done!

kimabe says:

April 3, 2008 at 2:04 pm

The purpose in life that I have is never stop being thirsty for growth…Life has change my attitude in a good way. Knowing that each day gives you a new way to put new purpose in your life is my mantra.

kimabe

April 3, 2008 at 2:22 pm

Zya, thanks for reading and thanks for finding it relative :)

Kimabe, that’s a great mantra to live by.

Omotoke says:

April 3, 2008 at 11:42 pm

Tremaine,
I think you just achieved your purpose darling. That’ not to say it’s all over but more like maybe your purpose is to share your heartfelt soul searched feelings with people from everywhere because they need to know. I agree with you I too have a purpose in life but I don’t think about death and neither do I fear it because I know in no uncertain terms that the day of my departure will only be my Creators way of letting me know that I have achieved my purpose and played my role to His (or Her) satisfaction and thus can then move on to the next phase of my journey.

Keep writing, I enjoyed reading this piece.

Cola says:

April 4, 2008 at 10:07 am

Tremaine..I always love your articles. You are such a great writer. It’s like you are right inside of my head. lol. So like Omotoke I think you are currently meeting your purpose through writing! I know that I always take away something from what you have written. Thanks! :)

April 4, 2008 at 11:31 am

Omotoke, I for 1 do not fear death, but i do however, fear how I am going to die. I just cannot shake the feeling of maybe I’m supposed to be doing something greater, *shrugs* Perhaps, I’m being overly critical of myself and my accomplishments. I thank you for reading and I appreciate your words :)

Cola, it’s good to know that people relate to what I am writing and take something with them with each article too. Thanks for reading and thanks for your very positive words too.

The Bizza says:

April 9, 2008 at 11:48 pm

Wow. It’s almost as if your perspective is the yin to my yang… or vice-versa. I won’t go into detail here, but perhaps I will another time.

I will say that I’m glad that you and others like you exist in this world, if only to balance-out us pessimists. I enjoyed reading your article.

Tracey says:

April 11, 2008 at 12:57 pm

I am on that same quest. I tend to believe that our purpose is to continually live our daily lives with this thing we call purpose, to always desire to do the right thing to challenge ourselves to do more for human kind. Consciously making the world a better place just because we are allowed the priviledge of existence in it. Along the way we all get the opportunity to experience LIFE, contemplation/ thinking, emotions that run the gamut of unspeakable joy to devastating despair. Sometimes we don’t have control over what happens to us but we do have control over our response, even when our life is on the line. Purpose is a joyful and sometimes frustrating quest, yet it is still worthy of pursuit.

April 12, 2008 at 5:50 pm

Ah Bizzy B, as much as I strive to be a realist, it’s hard not to point out the beauties of the world and of knowledge or yearning for something. Thanks for reading and trust me, I have my pessimist moments as well (I’m human).

Tracey, good luck with your quest and thank you for reading.

jilly says:

April 12, 2008 at 6:32 pm

very thoughtful read, ma, and it mirrors some of the things that have been on my mind heavily as of late. i believe everyone has a purpose in life too. as you stated, the tricky part is finding out what it is. some people figure it out as children; they most likely have some innate quality or talent, and they feel it’s a must that they share it with the world. with others…well, the quest goes way into adulthood. i recommend everyone reading this article pick up mitch albom’s “tuesdays with morrie.” it’s a very heartfelt and inspirational read. it touches a lot on what you wrote about, tre. i know you’ve read it already, but i recommend it for others.

Angel says:

April 26, 2008 at 2:13 am

I must say, I too am feeling the same way. Turning thirty was a rebirth for me because I have been able to see what I have been doing up until now and see that I’ve been chasing my own tail for umpt number of years dealing with relationships both intimate and family. I found that by opening myself up to the world the world will accept me for who I am and with that I am able to touch people without saying a word because someone may hear someone else talk about how I’ve changed from this to that. That may spark a need/want for change. Someone may read something I’ve written or seen the things I have done personally. These impressions we make I feel are our purpose. I mean by living life to the fullest is our purpose. That fight we make to have the job or home or car we want. The travels we’ve done, the goals we’ve dreamed, set, put into motion and accomplished. The courage to act on our dreams is what life is about and by following those dreams we are doing what we are supposed to be doing. Trust in ourselves and we can never go wrong.

April 27, 2008 at 12:19 pm

~jilly: great book recommendation… you know it’s one of my favorites.

~Angel: I agree with what you’ve stated. The things we do, who we are, and who we affect all ties perfectly w/ purpose. I haven’t overlooked that, I just can’t shake that there’s something *bigger* to be done, you know?

Thank you both for reading.

Ikeyee says:

April 30, 2008 at 12:49 am

By chance I came across your article. I am amazed that you have written what has been on my mind for quite some time. Now I understand that I am not alone. I know that now that I must continue my quest to fulfill what ever GOD has instilled in me. I believe that we all have a purpose in life. It’s up to us to search for it and by searching that we go through trials to prepare us. I look forward to reading other articles that you may have in the future.