Feature

129

It Must Suck to Be a Black Woman

Monday Mar 15, 2010 – By Clarissa H. Matthews

It seems that it sucks to be a black woman these days. Or at least that is what the media wants us to believe. Every time you turn on the tube or visit a news site, there is a report concerning our messy lives. Or a movie. Or documentary. Between the effects of “Precious” and “Good Hair” alone, half of America must think most black women need to be locked up in padded cells, or at least taken in for psychiatric evaluation. Because mainstream America is truly concerned for our welfare.

This concern seems a bit out of the blue, as we have been in this country for some time. I wonder what the motivation is. We were among the original settlers in Jamestown. I am taking it back, work with me now. In 1619, three of the first recorded settlers in America’s history were black women. Folks didn’t care enough to note their names, but they sure as hell care about us now.

They care so much that they are peaking into our bedrooms with pity. Black women have been complaining about a lack of mates since we first saw this continent, but now that producers of nightly news shows have discovered our suffering they need to help. On one show, producers scoured the nation to find a location with the most attractive black women they could find with the sorriest love stories they could tell — Atlanta. Then to help them out, they put them in a room and asked Steve Harvey to give them advice. That’s thoughtful, but who puts a bunch of desperate women who want a hot man in a room with Steve Harvey?

Only someone who wants to see a black woman suffer. Or get clowned on by the world. I think I see the motivation.

And the latest revelations? Why, didn’t you know that 48% of black women have herpes? Plus, the median wealth level of a single black female is five dollars.

Five dollars? Hold on now. As my dance teacher Ned used to say: “Something in the milk ain’t clean.”

Do we have all that money Chris Rock says we are wasting on weaves in “Good Hair,” or not? Are we bitter and alone, or getting so much action that every other sister is packing a major STD? Who are they polling to get these results anyway? Of all the black females in my life who are financially secure, married (some two or three times), and don’t take Valtrex, I’ve never heard one say: “This scientist stopped by and asked me detailed questions about my life, because she wants to paint an accurate view of black women and promote it to the press.” That sounds so unrealistic that it could be the set up for a great joke.

Maybe that is because there is a long-running joke in the works with the black woman as the fall guy – or chick, if you will. It’s only becoming obvious, because now that we’ve got power, some folks are desperate to keep the joke going. Many are so invested in the charming image of the black woman as a down-trodden soul that our social issues have been projected at a huge scale in the news to ironically keep us small. Sambo flicks are not PC, so this is the new coon ‘toon. Even our deepest beauty sensitivities are fodder for comic gold, thanks to Chris Rock. People must really enjoy consuming our problems as entertainment. But the joke will soon be on those who are riveted by these portrayals.

Yes, we black women have our problems. What is remarkable is that despite the pressures we confront, many excel by society’s standards and even more thrive according to individual standards that are not recorded by statistics alone. This realization makes us inwardly shine.

Black women may often be poor, but even the creators of that five dollar study admitted that one reason our wealth level is so low is that we often give our money away to loved ones who need it. Imagine that. No, we can’t get a headline that reads: “Black Women – The Most Generous People On The Earth.” Then the joke would lack a punch line. But we see the truth.

News creators, instead, are fixated on the scraps of information that have been collected about black women’s complex lives from a distance, not realizing how racism, classism and sexism have distorted the very structure of their data collection mechanism – that mechanism being their brains. They are looking so hard at this data, because they just do not want to see First Lady Michelle Obama, at almost six feet tall, married, educated, rich and I assume STD-free. She’s hard to miss. But, just as those first black female Americans, some of the first Americans, are often ignored, the heroic black female gets minimized today.

While some choose to waste their precious resources blowing up our flaws, if history proves itself an accurate predictor of future trends, we are going to keep improving until we leave our detractors in the dust wondering how we surpassed them.

If people could see us accurately, they would see that we have gone from slavery to the White House in a short time with little help. From our humble start at the foundations of America to the current day, we have shown that no amount of silencing, whether through force or statistical ambushing, will stand in our way. Some are accustomed to the joke being on us. When we come out on top, possibly smiling down on the jokers, I wonder — will their misrepresentations still be so amusing?

Amanda says:

March 15, 2010 at 9:08 am

“Do we have all that money Chris Rock says we are wasting on weaves in “Good Hair,” or not? Are we bitter and alone, or getting so much action that every other sister is packing a major STD?”

You pretty much surmised the problem right there…too many contradictions to the stereotypes that they have placed on black women which equals lies! We as black women must keep our blinders on and stay focused and keep rising to the top. Thank You for the excellent article!

↑ Reply

Clarissa H. Matthews says:

March 15, 2010 at 10:45 am

Hello,

Thanks for responding. This article is actually very positive if you read the whole thing carefully. The title is an ironic response to the negative media portrayal of black women in the general news today, and I must admit it is meant to get attention. But overall I say that black women are going to take over the world. Isn’t that extremely positive. I am sorry if the tone did not read well, but I am using a little sarcastic humor in the opening as a way to address the mask that many in the news have of “helping” by focusing on all these negative studies.

The other article is about the five BEST AND WORST things. I am sorry, but no group on this earth is perfect. I think that looking at the good and the bad helps one be realistic. That is just my personal philosophy. At the same time, I end that story talking about our rise to the levels of CEO (of Xerox) and First Lady today — so now is the time to network, and leave behind the crabs in a barrel mentality, which is very real. I think the article is critical, not negative, with a hope to inspire positivity.

At least, I mean it that way. Thanks again for writing. I really appreciate your feedback and open discussion.

Scott says:

March 18, 2010 at 7:33 pm

Um. as a black man I do understand and have experienced discrimination in all forms. Yes financial discrimination does and has happened for a long time. That does not negate the fact that black women have a hand to play in their own demise.

So are you suggesting that you don t know of at least 3 black women who have spent money they don t have on disposable items such as hair weave for $300+, shoes in excess and wardrobe in excess on credit cards in order to look like a diva?

Or am I just dreaming this also. Since I am not an expert I guess I need to go buy a clue? So you must also be saying that it was the white man that told black women to sleep with men without condoms?

See this is the problem. With the same passion that you speak against the stat is the same passion you need to speak against the behavior. Stop deflecting and tell black women to wake up. All of their problems is not caused by racism or discrimination. Some of it (scratch that a lot of it) is caused by not being able to say no.

Whether its saying no to buying that new outfit. Saying no to Tyrone who they want to sleep with and he happens not to have protection. Whether it is saying no to putting too much food in their mouth (obesity and being overweight is plaguing black women).

There is little temperance in a lot of black women and this is what the stats are showing. Stop shooting the messenger for posting their message and maybe we need to shoot down the behavior. Oh but I forgot if we criticise black women its called bashing. smh.
isolde says:

March 18, 2010 at 11:47 pm

On average, black women do not have more buying power than their white counterparts. So, no, black women are not the biggest consumers out there. Why do you associate consumer debt with black women exclusively? There are women of all races who live beyond their means and spend frivolously on consumer goods, yet, unlike those other women; most black women have little to no net worth. Why do you think that is? Your logic dictates that if black women, as a group, were to cease xyz bad behavior, then their plight would automatically change, but there are plenty of non-black women who engage in the same bad behavior, yet are either less susceptible or more immune to negative consequences. How do you explain that?
Nneoma says:

March 19, 2010 at 12:13 am

My dear, you must be one of the sole voices of reason on this thread.
Americans are materialistic … period – Black Americans, White Americans, Hispanic Americans, new Americans. All are heavily engaged in this consumer culture. The problem arises when one group has a smaller access to wealth. Though we are making similar purchases to other groups, when you add our almost non-existent sources of wealth, it seems exaggerated. I was annoyed to death when Bill Cosby railed against black people for buying shoes for their kids instead of Hooked on Phonics. Other races of similar economic/social status make similar decisions. America is slowly becoming an illiterate culture – black and white….

As for STDs, see my brief explanation about how STDS or any infection for that matter, can hit a minority group harder than others. Like I said, it is only a matter of time before herpes will become endemic to white populations as well. I do admit, there is a journalistic bias to look at the problems of black folk – it generates the most conversation and sells papers. I do admit, that there is some irresponsibility on the part of some media outlets in terms of such reports. But that does not mean that the underlying statistics are somehow cooked.

Though, I am happy that the media is providing the opportunity for a conversation about the ills that plague our people since if it were up to us, we would rather ignore it, in favor of promoting some ideal version of black America.
Akai says:

March 19, 2010 at 3:02 am

I agree America is a consumerist country, but I think there are some differences along various racial and ethnic lines in how funds are spent (or what the bulk is spent on) within the same socioeconomic status.

For example, in various areas i.e. most likely to marry and least likely to divorce, median net worth and earnings or even education, Asians in America rank fairly close to or above whites. Another example is equity in the home where, within certain ethnic Asian communities, there is a cultural tendency to more likely own/occupy a home with extended family members and, thus, have a high home equity, save more money, and not spend on ‘frivolous’ things.

Some of this can also be seen among other ethnic groups and children of immigrants from the Caribbean or Africa were resources are pooled, borrow from each other, start businesses etc.

I agreed with some of what Cosby said (even though he annoys the dang beegeez outta me at times). What I’ll never get is when a group or individual is at the bottom of the SES ladder, why throw so much down the drain in frivolity then turn around and complain about continuing poverty? It is mind-blowing to research the billions wasted annually on things that depreciate instead of saving, pooling resources, driving used (instead of new) vehicles that are paid for and investing in something that could one day be a source of rental income, opening businesses in order to pass along property and wealth to one’s offspring etc.

This news is not the best but it is what it is. It appears addressing how people are spending (wasting) their money has one day got to be a vital part of the conversation, and there are many sources that basically point to the same thing and similar numbers as the following:

“Packaged Facts reported that African Americans have a buying power projected to exceed $1.1 trillion in 2012. …According to Target Market, a company that tracks black consumer spending, African Americans spent $22.9 billion on clothes, $3.2 billion on electronics… …On top of depreciable product spending, African American women spend more money on hair and makeup than any other race. A study conducted by Essence magazine, in conjunction with Vision Critical Group, reported that African American women spend 80% more on cosmetics annually and nearly twice as much on skin care products…”
http://www.glossmagazineonline.com/finance-employment/black-women-and-spending-controlling-your-pocketbook-2.html
Scott says:

March 23, 2010 at 1:50 am

Don t you understand that the cdc gets their stats from the local health departments the same health departments that get their cases from the physicians who treat the patients…

What is the case is that the 48% number is probably lower than it actually is…prevelence rate means the total number infected divided by the total in the population at risk at a given time…because herpes has no cure that means all that are infected….

You send me a survey result of sexual partners….and the herpes data are from actual cases that have been documented…you don t have to test every woman….but that is the point…they haven t tested every woman…but the ones they did test have actually accumulated to 48% of the black female population from ages 14 – 49…..which is why it may be more…

the facts are the facts no matter if you like them or not…again…stop questioning the stats and question the behavior…..
Scott says:

March 19, 2010 at 1:39 am

http://www.womenentrepreneur.com/2008/03/black-women-wield-plenty-of-buying-power.html

Black women may not have as much buying power as white women so maybe they may not be bigger consumers (probably because there are a lot more white women) I guarantee that black women per capita spend more then a white women.

But here is my issue. I believe that all races of women participate in negative behavior. However, I also believe that there is financial discrimination that black women suffer from also.

But here is where the behavior meets decision making. Why is it that black women have the most out of wedlock percentage of children. Irresponsibility. Why is it that black women have the highest rate of STDs again irresponsibility. Is this irresponsibility limited to only sexual behavior. I would doubt that. Is this irresponsibility only limited to black women. I doubt that also.

But there is an explanation for the double sometimes triple the percentage rate of the negative statistics. Black women are participating in the irresponsiblity more frequently.

How else do you explain the out of wedlock rate being 72% and only 30% with their white counterparts. or the herpes rate being 48% as opposed to 20% in their white counterparts?

Are all of the stats lying? Why have their been 14 million black babies aborted since 1973? These are irrefutable. So where is the logic behind the numbers???
Akai says:

March 19, 2010 at 4:49 am

Scott you’re funny and I’ve a few questions for ya.

Question #1: Who in the hell are impregnating these females and creating the 70% of AA children born out of wedlock?
Answer: That’s right, SORRY-ASSED “IRRESPONSIBLE” BLACK MALES!
*************************************************

Question #2: How many AA males have HIV/AIDS?
Answer: 298,000 and over 50% of them had sex with other males.
*************************************************

Question #3: Know how many AA females have HIV/AIDS?
Answer: 124,000 and 60% got it via heterosexual sex.

There are OVER TWICE AS MANY AA MALES WITH HIV/AIDS than AA females and, after white males, YOUR GROUP leads the country in numbers infected. Considering the overwhelming majority have sex with mates of their own race, this leads to my last question.
*************************************************

Question #4: Who da f*ck you think are infecting AA females with all these STDs like herpes and – most deadly – HIV/AIDS?
Answer: It is a FACT that it’s far easier for a male to infect a female w/HIV than vice versa so, again, SORRY-ASSED “IRRESPONSIBLE” BLACK MALES!
*************************************************

Unless you want to read a list of not-so-flattering statistics about y’all’s violent, abusive, sexually assaulting, gang bangin’, in-and-out-of-jail, highschool dropout, lagging behind in college attendance asses, I suggest fairness and keeping it one hunnert when calling out negative/irresponsible behavior – then exiting that phony high horse before it throws you on your ass!

There are way way more BM infected with HIV/AIDS then BFs and here’s a link to the CDC that spells it out.
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/resources/reports/2009supp_vol14no2/table4.htm
Scott says:

March 19, 2010 at 11:16 am

Akai….the truth is that most black women that are getting HIV/AIDS is because of their
IV drug use or sleeping with a person who is using IV drugs.

Yes black women are getting herpes from irresponsible men because the sad fact remains that they are participating in the 80/20 rule where 80% of the women are going after only 20% of the men. Choosing to be concubines instead of someone s exclusive.

Fact is that women are being way more promiscuous than men and the stats are proving this to be.

This also still does not negate the fact that black women choose to allow these irresponsible males to go inside of them without protection. Hence the high out of wedlock birthrates and STD stats.

Now as for college education. It is cultural. Most of the black children boy and girl are being raised by mom only. And mom is still participating in the age old “Willie Lynch” spoil the son keeping him mentally weak and physically strong and raise the daughter keeping her independent. So she drills college education into her daughter and drills dependence on the system on a woman on mama into her son.

This is because mama choose to do it alone by either not picking the right male to be pregnant by and his mettle wasn t strong enough to take care of responsibility. Or like in the past by choosing the government check over the man. Or by being the gate keeper and not allowing the man to be the father. Let s talk truth.

The majority of the situations that the black woman is in and to answer all of your questions is because SHE refuses to take accountability for her actions. Whether that is to wear a condom. Not use IV drugs. Not sleep with ex felons or to reject the mindset that she can raise children alone. All of these things are her choosing. Let s be fair about that.
Royal K. says:

March 19, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Scott your facts are twisted.
Could it be that black women outnumber black men firstly, and these stats are a reflection of this fact, as opposed to black women being more promiscuous than black men, GTFOHWTBS, and then its simple anatomy and physiology that makes women more susceptible to this virus, three times more susceptible than a man.

Condoms don’t really protect one from herpes as it is skin to skin contact and that can be touching not necessarily sex.

Of course the black man has no accountability in the black womans plight either, its all on her. You a funny dude with so much love for black women!
isolde says:

March 19, 2010 at 12:19 pm

“Akai….the truth is that most black women that are getting HIV/AIDS is because of their
IV drug use or sleeping with a person who is using IV drugs.” ___________________________________
No, the statistics say that most women with the virus contracted it through heterosexual sex, not through IV drug use. The number of black males infected through IV drug use is also higher than it is for black women by virtue of black men being among the majority of infected blacks .
______________________________________
“Yes black women are getting herpes from irresponsible men because the sad fact remains that they are participating in the 80/20 rule where 80% of the women are going after only 20% of the men.”
________________________________
Prove this.
________________________________
“Fact is that women are being way more promiscuous than men and the stats are proving this to be.”
______________________
Again, prove this. The vagina is a mucus membrane as opposed to the penis which is a skin membrane. Women are more vulnerable to STD’s because of the delicate tissue make-up of their genitalia. A woman can be totally monogamous and still contract a disease from her partner.
________________________
“This also still does not negate the fact that black women choose to allow these irresponsible males to go inside of them without protection. Hence the high out of wedlock birthrates and STD stats.”
____________________
Are you referring to black men in general when you speak of irresponsible males that sleep with and procreate with black women without matrimony?
Akai says:

March 19, 2010 at 6:28 pm

Scott wrote: “the truth is that most black women that are getting HIV/AIDS is because of their IV drug use or sleeping with a person who is using IV drugs.”
***************************************************************

Damn, Scott, you’re reeeeeal special but, FALSE!

About 60% of AA females were infected via heterosexual sex. I made it easy as hell and provided a quick click to the CDC numbers and you STILL twisted the facts and made a bullshit statement. Typical!

You one of those geeked-out dudes that can’t get any play? Bad potty-training? Some chick cheat on you? Anyway it’s official that you’ve a bone to pick and can’t read.

If over 50% of HIV+ black men SLEPT WITH OTHER MEN, and MOST AA FEMALES HAVE SEX WITH BLACK MEN and were INFECTED VIA HETEROSEXUAL SEX – one could speculate that the high infection rate among AA females is a result of shady, lying, promiscuous, down low black men who pretend to be straight and have sex and relationships with females, yet take it from the back on the side.

I won’t even waste time trying to explain basic science, biology or anatomy to show why male to female (or other male) STD infection is way easier than female to male as I doubt you’re sharp enough to comprehend.

Paula says:

March 15, 2010 at 11:45 am

I loved it! I thought it was funny and well written. I think the ability to laugh at self is just as important as knowing when the news story doesn’t apply to you. Thanks for spinning the BS and making me laugh on my slow moving Monday :)

Nia Whaley says:

March 15, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Black people. Be put on notice!

Michelle Obama is a beautiful, fit, Harvard Educated down to earth black woman who’s married to a brother who is the head of the free world. And the brother loves her and is not afraid to show it. She’s the antithesis of fatherless women, Precious, boom Qui Qui, project chicks, and concrete roses.

Now all of a sudden there’s this avalanche of black woman is doomed articles being fed to the mainstream: the black man don’t want us, half of us have herpes, we only have 5 dollars in the bank, we’re dying from the monster, and we’re going to die alone with our degrees and our weaves.

All this sludge is to send a message: Black woman you are put on notice. Michelle Obama is one of the lucky few that slipped through the cracks and we can’t have you believing that you can have that. If we let the Obamas inspire you chances are you’ll no longer use us (the culture of power) as a measuring stick for everything under the sun and we can’t have that. We need you to feel inferior and our relevance is dependent upon you feeling down in the dumps. If you become over inspired we can feed you lies about yourself.

This is social engineering at best to help you believe the hype. Black people. We have got to start thinking about the intention of others and stop being so knee jerking.

Yes statistics are real and numbers don’t lie. But inspiration will always outlive any statistic. And the Obamas are that. What matters at the end of the day is our focus; what we choose to pay attention to. And I’m sorry but I’ve got to put blinders on (Oprah style) to this debacle sham of what people are calling “concern.”

If we pay attention to the devastation we’ll do nothing but create more of it. As hard as it may seem focus on the good and the possibilities. Not on the trap of statistical concern and hopelessness.

Nikki Aimee says:

March 15, 2010 at 5:55 pm

110% co-signing this comment!
Thank you.
Alivia says:

March 16, 2010 at 2:09 pm

I agree Nia! Great comment and Clarissa H. Matthews great post! Thank you for sharing.
Reese says:

March 18, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Well Said! – Thank you.

Keebo says:

March 15, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Consider this – the successful, goal-directed and progressive are difficult to control.

Historically, the media, bullies, abusers, monarchies, organized church with an agenda(I.G. Catholicism pre-20th century), cliques, class hierarchies, any form of slavery & some communities have shown that separation and debasement is the best form of control (I’d say better then violence and force. Eventually, The weak will fight back.)

One example? In any slavery(not just american/of blacks): Not educating your slaves, demoting them to animal status, promoting fear of the unknown, stating that they are of low intelligence and had no room for progress was the usual method of an invisible cage. Black women…black people have come a long way and others are still trying to figure us out(jezz.. we’re doing this to each other). The media don’t really care to help but to sensationalize and be more comfortable with something familiar – Stereotypes help pacify their wandering questions and act as a go to social “binky”.

Their solution? Put the “black woman ‘n a box” and dress it up with embellishments/theme with a cute “ohhh but we care” patronizing bow. God help them when black women/anyone else(race/class/creed) pop out of those boxes and kick them to the side. These are the experiences/stories I live for, not the stories telling me who I should be. That’s my job and I’m sole owner of those rights.

Maria says:

March 15, 2010 at 1:00 pm

While I respect the author’s viewpoints in this article, I still think we [African American women] should be highly concerned about these statistics.

I definitely believe the providers of the statistics should indicate the basis of their findings. It is important for us to know if these findings are based upon NATIONWIDE research or region-based research. Either way it goes, whether the women participating in the research are young or old, rich or poor these statistics are affecting OUR community and we need to take the necessary steps to fix these dilemmas.

I believe A LOT of these statistics are true simply because I know a lot of AA women who are part of the statistics. For example, the 68% illegitimacy child birth in our community is FACTUAL nationwide. It has affected my family and close friends at astonishing numbers. I’m in disbelief at how many of us open our legs to unprotected sex and have children by men we haven’t known for more than 6months (at times).

With that being said, it’s not surprising to hear 48% of AA women have herpes because 68% of us opened our legs to a man who hasn’t “put a ring on it” and conceived his child/children.

We MUST do better!

Akai says:

March 17, 2010 at 7:07 am

As it was a BM behind the movie Good Hair, contrary to what a lot of people state or the fantasy some prefer to believe, the overwhelming MAJORITY of these ‘BW are X percent more likely to Z’ articles ARE WRITTEN BY AAs. That’s why I often question whether folks can read and chuckle when individuals go the easy and usual route of blaming the white boogieman.

Take for example herpes, HIV/AIDS, a 70% outside of marriage birthrate or even obesity – areas where AA females’ numbers are out of control and way over their population percentage.

Needless to say there is no reason AA females (about 7% of America’s population) should comprise 70% of infections among females, and people need to take personal responsibility for their own lives and actions, use their heads, and quit acting like they live in some 3rd world country with no access to information.

Were no health agencies, doctors, researchers or scientists paying attention or investing time and money in conducting studies as AA women were being disproportionately affected by X Y or Z, suffering or getting sick – many would come with the typical tired claims of racism, make statements that society doesn’t care, and demand the same government (whose statistics they don’t believe) do something.

Information is gathered then passed along and, if it doesn’t tell a flattering story, STILL here comes cries of racism, doubting the numbers, disbelieving statistics, and crying about people trying to make AAs look bad. Knowledge is power, numbers are what they are, and information is the only tool that can empower individuals to make wiser choices and help themselves.

Even regarding things like bone marrow donation or clinical trials for new drugs, genetic closeness is key and AAs have a harder time being suitably matched or sometimes react differently to certain medications. Because they don’t donate marrow or participate in medication trials in high enough numbers, they stand in their own way of researchers noting and finding improved and tailored health advances for their group.

All that to say people can’t have it both ways. Either they want to save face or they will put on their big people’s draws and realize that honesty and knowledge is the only way to solve problems and bring positive changes. Defensiveness, continuing to put those heads in the sand and going “I don’t believe those statistics” will only lead to continued and worse suffering, illness then death.

julienne says:

March 15, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Well written. I love this part..

“Yes, we black women have our problems. What is remarkable is that despite the pressures we confront, many excel by society’s standards and even more thrive according to individual standards that are not recorded by statistics alone. This realization makes us inwardly shine.”

Glennisha Morgan says:

March 15, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Amen. I thought I was the only one that has noticed all of this crap in the media lately about Black women. Don’t believe everything you read. Most statistics are bull shit.

Nikki Aimee says:

March 15, 2010 at 6:05 pm

“Don’t believe everything you read. Most statistics are bull shit.”
CHURCH!
and I thought I was the only noticing this “Black woman this & ain’t that” windstorm too.
*whew*
Finally, I get to see I’m not alone recognizing all this horse sh*t for what it is.
I can always count on Clutch :)

Maya says:

March 15, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Okay, I have been thinking this for a while as well. Especially, how the media loves to show Black famous men with non black women on tv shows, news,etc. It also seems that after Michelle Obama was in the spotlight, this seemed to get heightened. I also don’t get that in order for a Black woman to get an oscar she has to take a degrading role. I can see if there was some positive roles that won oscars for Black women to balance this, but there hasn’t been. I did not see Precious and felt there was nothing to be learned as some people I know did not get the ending because they complained it wasn’t uplifting. But now that a lot of Black women have noticed this negativity as indicated by the blogsphere, friends, relatives, and many other message boards. WHAT IS THE SOLUTION? Stop pointing out this issue and talk action!

Akai says:

March 17, 2010 at 7:13 am

Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar in 2006 for Dreamgirls and Whoopi Goldberg won in 1990 for Ghost. NEITHER of the roles they played were “degrading.”
Not Offended says:

March 17, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Yeah, and peep game, a White woman wins an Oscar for saving a Black man.

People really do need to be more conscious of what’s really going on and resist the negative imagery and focus on the success of Michelle Obama and the love between her and Barack.

Someone above said it’s Black people creating most of this, movies like “Precious” and articles on Black female singledom and I say yeah they’re creating it and that’s a lot of the problem. Black people have internalized a lot of bigotry against themselves and that has to be dealt with.

LaBrenda says:

March 15, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Amen to all of that!

binky says:

March 15, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Anybody who took a class in criminal justice or statistics will know that most statistics/data we used now are complete B.S. These people claim black women or this or that but like the author stated, which black women did you ask? Statistics can be used in favor or contradictory to a certain cause for example:

it says that 48% of black women are single but in this statistics did they account for gay black women? Black Women who are in a committed relationship? Black women of a certain age, etc. etc. See statistics can be pure B.S. too! Don’t believe everything you read because it sometimes isn’t true. I think people and the media like to view black women as the bottom of the barrel down and out woman always trying to make it in the big bad world when again that is not the case! Are their some black women who fit the stereotype and statistics, yes but NOT all. I think people are starting to wise up that black women has just as much buying power, authority, and education to rivary our counterparts and some men so they put out these “statistics” to deter progress

Nneoma says:

March 17, 2010 at 11:11 pm

rolls eyes…

natural hair nerd says:

March 15, 2010 at 9:24 pm

Hey clarissa matthews, this is a FABULOUS article, and I am forwarding it to all my natural hair nerds and black girl stars!
This really put a huge cherry on my bananna SHIT Monday:-D

Thanks!

Clarissa H. Matthews says:

March 16, 2010 at 10:48 am

Thank you!

Alexandra says:

March 15, 2010 at 9:37 pm

It doesn’t suck to be a black women. Only lemmings would think such. Its great to be a black woman, thats why “they” have to put out all these stats about us. They want our spot, so they conduct these polls to attempt to put us in our “place”. I’m not going anywhere.
Black women have come too far to let a bunch of white people try to bring us down with their media. What positive stats have they ever put out about Blacks in general? Know that when there is something wrong with “their” race, they use us as their scapegoats. Black teen pregnancy has somewhat been higher than white, but now that white & Hispanic teen pregnancy is rising faster, they still “claim” that black teens are still getting pregnant. Black women are supposedly getting herpes, yet they say they cant even find a man? Ummm which one is it?
White men never asked me anything about my marital status, my weight, my bank statements or my health history, so what do they know? I’m still going to keep striving for the best.

Akai says:

March 17, 2010 at 7:39 am

Exactly what “spot” is this you think others would possibly want?

The statement that “black women are supposedly getting herpes, yet they say they cant even find a man. …which one is it?” is illogical.

The stats never revealed anything even remotely close to BW “can’t even find a man.” That is hyperbole and exaggeration and the indications are the overwhelming majority of AA children are born out of wedlock, many AA females are single, never been married etc.

NONE of those things negate the fact that BW have casual and unprotected sex with dudes they’re not married to or in a relationship with and, subsequently, have high rates of STD infections.

Ava Maria says:

March 15, 2010 at 9:55 pm

My motto is its fun being a black girl but it ain’t easy.

EclecticJam says:

March 15, 2010 at 10:02 pm

I really enjoyed reading this article. This lets me know that I still have to represent as a black woman and to encourage and bring up others along my path. Its a shame what control the media can can have on a whole slew of people.

isolde says:

March 15, 2010 at 10:38 pm

I haven’t read the study, but I’m not so quick to dismiss the findings, just because they are uncomfortable to hear. They probably sampled a random population of people infected with genital herpes and categorized the findings according to race and gender. It’s tempting to indulge conspiracy theories, given the recent rash of SBF hair and relationship articles, but it’s not like the CDC is new to the game and just started releasing public health statistics last week. This CDC released this type of information periodically before the Obama’s ever hit the scene.The study done on black teen girls with STD’s yielded similar percentages back in 2008.

I think more important topics worth discussing would revolve around why so many black women have high STD infection rates.

Nneoma says:

March 16, 2010 at 1:03 am

^^^Now to this I say “PREACH!”

The state of the black female (and male…oh God…particularly male) in America is a bitter pill to swallow.

Usually these statistics are based off of a sample and measures are taken to make sure that such a sample is representative. To ignore their realities (yes, flawed to some minor degree as some articles have objectively pointed out) is, to me, BS. Basic statistics would tell you that it is nearly impossible to survey an entire population – look at the great undertaking that is the US Census.

I love being a black woman and I am thankful for articles like this which try to uplift. But at the same time, I hate hate hate the things that disproportionately plagued our fellow sisters. Unfortunately, what I predicted has come to pass – the election of Obama would fortify in the minds of Americans that American is indeed post-racial. However, I thought it would be white Americans that would feed on such notions. But it seems like we as a people believe it even more so (sorry no stats on this…it’s based off an unrepresentative sample – Clutch readers…lol)

For every Michelle Obama there are millions of black females who are not in the White House. For every black female reading and commenting on this article, there are thousands for whom such would be a luxury. I personally enjoyed the benefits of a decent (innercity) educational system, but too many of my classmates ended up falling behind…way behind.

Let’s face the facts as they come to us, rather than sugarcoat it with anecdotal experiences of our black middle-class lives. This is how we fell behind with the HIV/AIDS epidemic – “oh not us, we’re heterosexual”…this is how we remain one of the heaviest sub-groups in the American population – “uh uh, we’re just thick…” Breast cancer – “that’s just a white woman’s problem from all those contraceptives…”

Let’s stop sticking our heads in the sand because perhaps you and your girlfriends have it all together. As much as we hate the media reports that focus on the negatives of the black experience, the wrong response would be to ignore them. For this, I am very much for increased attention to economic and health disparities research on behalf of all ethnic minorities…because people, the problems are REAL.

Shamwow says:

March 15, 2010 at 11:47 pm

Being in a black woman is one of the greatest things you can do. We have so many different shapes, we have so many different colors, and most importantly we are bred to be strong, no matter what. Not all of us, live up to that, but that’s besides the point. (LOL)

I love being a black woman. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

These articles about how slutty we are, or how lonely we are, or how doomed we are…they don’t mean shit to me. They’re usually written by people who are fearful of the power that a black woman has, naturally. The natural power and presence that anyone else would have to work for, but that we are born with.

March 16, 2010 at 10:56 am

A colleague, Nokwarie Knight, sent me this article about bias in media that really complements our discussion. Enjoy!

http://www.theroot.com/buzz/overlooked-seven-groups-media-doesnt-touch

Miss Carmel says:

March 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm

well summarised, great article:)

Stephanie says:

March 16, 2010 at 2:41 pm

I loved this article! Thank you for writing it!

ienpia says:

March 16, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Excellent article. It’s good to know other black, intelligent women feel this way. There has been such an indendation of bad press including this one example that really upset me.

On Friday, there was a story on NPR about the high level of herpes infection among black women. The host asked the question, “Is one factor because black women have a high rate, over 40%, of not being married and over their lifetime have more sexual partners and may increase thier risk?”

Really? This was a valid question for the host to ask? I was livid! Here’s the link:

Mona says:

March 16, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Michelle and all these other upper middle class black women are amazing, but they are not the norm. More like the exception. Most black women are struggling with little support. I don’t see these studies as attacks, but reality checks. We don’t have wealth, we are being infected w/STD’s at an alarming rate, most of out children are born out of wedlock.

We who are accomplished and in the upper-middle class forget that many of our sisters are really having a hard time.

JenG says:

March 16, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Thank You! When I read about those statistics (herpes) I thought here we go again, “Black women being slammed again! You are so right they don’t want to acknowledge Michelle Obama as beautiful and black. They want to tear us down and call us monkey, black and enornmous. I am so glad to see a positive article! Thanks!

Ayofemi Kirby says:

March 16, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Thank you for writing this. Much Love and Much Needed. Keep your head (and the great work) up.

Nsenga says:

March 16, 2010 at 4:56 pm

Spot on. Your keen wit and observations are sublime. I wrote about this very thing last week because it is very apparent that the media and society are quite comfortable with making black women the poster women for everything bad (http://tiny.cc/DrS37). Thanks for shedding light on a much needed issue. Thanks for letting me know that I’m not crazy or paranoid — just spot on, like you. Keep up the EXCELLENT work!

Jonas says:

March 16, 2010 at 5:56 pm

It would behoove the clutch writers to learn the difference between net worth and income. You cannot refute an article you do not understand. Black women spend a lot of money on hair and other consumer goods which just proves that rampant consumerism is a partial cause to low net worth. Net worth=assets-liabilities. Net worth is not the same as income.

LaBrenda says:

March 16, 2010 at 9:07 pm

Jonas, Where in the article did you see evidence of any confusion about the difference between net worth and income? To the contrary, the author acknowledges low levels of wealth (for a commendable reason in many cases).
Clarissa H. Matthews says:

March 17, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Also, while I DO know the difference, you are missing the point I am trying to make. I cannot dispute research findings directly. If you look at the comments, you will see that there is too much anecdotal evidence by actual black women living their lives that at least complicates the presentation of these findings. I am just giving hyperbolic, and I hope funny, examples of these complications in my piece.

Another contradictory stat– blacks are noted to have $1 billion in yearly buying power. It may be a big problem that we spend it all, but the way the “$5″ study is presented, it makes black women look like poor, pathetic creatures deserving of pity who have never touched money. That is how people are consuming the article and discussing it. It is not leading to a complex discussion of developing wealth opportunities for us, and teaching better use of the wealth we have, or the psychological wounds that lead people to spend on things to improve self-esteem and self-presentation.

Plus, black women have been telling the mainstream for years that we are struggling and need respectful assistance. Usually, such direct reports were ignored and used to criticize rather than help. This I have suspicion about the motives behind the decision NOW for the mainstream to “discover” trends that have been in existence for centuries due to overt racism, classism, and sexism — then report on it in the most simplistic and condescending manner, while ignoring the many other types of complex black womanhood out there.

Arisha Williams says:

March 16, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Loved the article! An excellent read full of great points! ESPECIALLY the bit abt the ABC News story featuring the single Black women and Steve Harvey. Why would they place him as the relationship expert? B/c he’s made several mistakes? And why was his advice for the ladies to seek an older man…Like whom? An old man like him? How dreadful.

A.C. Moore says:

March 16, 2010 at 8:16 pm

Point well taken. I actually read this piece in its entirety and surprise sunrise, I agree. My wife and homegirls would me extremely mortified if they caught me responding in this way, because I Tibbs them a lot about the self-inflicted plight that Black women endure. YES, I said self-inflicted. NOT ALL ARE CAUSED BY YOU, but a great deal is caused by the choices you make. Choosing thugs instead of hugs, booty instead of brains, and fashion instead of finance. You want a leader/good man, but then challenge and question the decisions or direction your man has set.
I know you are pressured into being tough, I know you are sometimes forced to do what u must to survive, but I also know you are nurturing, loving and he’s generous as the article suggests. When you step away from your true character and try to trick a man, trap a man or trounce a man, it makes your beauty fade into the BUFFOON / Joke the media play you out to be. Quite honestly, you gotta start thinking bout the bigger prize and stop settling for the short-lived wins. That means communicating with us good men instead of Keisha n em. That means making sure your man is not about the Benjamin’s but about his baby. Sometimes that package doesn’t come in a Bentley, or the first fashion labels. Sometimes it comes in a raggedy car, struggling finances, but with a dream and good head on his shoulder. That’s what President Obama’s had when First Lady Michelle met him. And look at them now. I truly believe President Obama’s would not be where he is if not for the support o his fine woman, who never stepped out of her character.

isolde says:

March 16, 2010 at 11:04 pm

Spot on, A.C.

Michelle was willing to gamble on that Harvard Law grad, even though he had a hole in his car. With Barack’s educational background and credentials, there was no way that Michelle could have even anticipated that Barack had potential for greatness, but she stuck by him anyway. There are so many ivy league professional black men that black women keep turning away for thugs just because they wear dockers and not roc-a-wear. Seeing as that one absurd tale (your’s) deserves another, here’s mine.

So, last year I passed up yet another common, ivy league brotha, so I could join Waka Flocka’s harem, right? Yeah, the Ivy league cat was polite and had a middle class lifestyle and what not, but he also had a lot of student loan debt, and Waka had chest tats and gunshot wounds, which, for most black women, is way more exciting. I’m a sucker for misogynist epithets, and Waka spit that ill game at me like “Ay yo, trick, let me holla at chu’?” He stepped to me again when I didn’t respond, calling me a skeeze and I just put my fingers over his lips and told him, “Boo Boo, You had me at ‘trick’.” Yeah, there were others chicks or whatever, but after his single started to blow up, he broke me off some of his dough to hold down my fashion habit, and told me that I was his bottom b*tch after we both got matching grillz. Waka rolls with Gucci Mane’s clique, so one day when we were at the club, Gucci was reckless eye balling me, and you know, I got to thinking, Waka’s got a hit single, but Gucci’s got platinum plaques and that could really fill my closet with designer wares. So, you know, I did what any black woman would do, asked my fellow harem girls (Keisha an em’) what to do, and they told me to keep my dirt on the low, and let both Gucci and Waka co-hit it.

Naturally, Waka was livid when he found out and cut me loose, taking back the grill and all the ish he bought me, but I didn’t care, see, cause I had myself another “sponsor,” right? Next thing I know Gucci catches a charge and gets sent upstate to do a bid, but it didn’t matter to me any, what with my being a black woman all, because for sistahs, jail time only adds to a black man’s dangerous allure. I think that’s why so many brothas are so eager to go. So I go to the bank to withdraw my five dollars of net worth for a bus ticket upstate for Gucci’s conjugal, right? Well, after the visit, I get this tingling sensation that makes the doctor write me a prescription. And to make a long story even longer, Gucci gave the boot, (and not one of the peep toe ones from the Spring 2010’ line), and I’ve been selling my extra Valtrex to build up my net worth to the black women’s national average ever since. I’m up to $3.50, btw.

Damn these black female choices, I’ve made! If only I hadn’t turned away all those Barack Obama, ivy league brothas falling at my feet for thugs. I mean, I could’ve been just like Michelle.

Dee says:

March 16, 2010 at 10:19 pm

I tell you, you must have been teleported next to me when I was talking to myself and cussing out loud about all the condemnation that’s been lobbed at black women the past few years. It’s like we’re fair game, ’cause WHO will come to our defense?

I loved this article.

Latorya says:

March 16, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Awesome article!!!!! I am sending this to all the Black Women I know!!! Thank you for pointing out the conflicting facts with those statistics or surveys that are being released. I have always wondered who are they speaking with? I myself, am a college educated (put myself through college and working on my MBA), married for 7 years, no children, making more money than I ever have in my life, no STDs, and the list could go on and on! I would much rather hear about other Sistas with similar stories like my own, than the stereotypes the media tries to shove down our society’s throat. Again, thank you for this article. I hope to see more articles on this subject!

Honey says:

March 16, 2010 at 11:18 pm

WONDERFUL ARTICLE!
you shall write an open letter

Keenan King says:

March 16, 2010 at 11:52 pm

As a black man raised by a strong proud black woman and have witnessed nothing but the best that my sisters have to offer I don’t know who or where these so called statistics come from. As another writer posted I guess those that have the magnifying glass on top of black women forgot about the togetherness that black women possess. I grew up on the South Side of Chicago and watched as black women helped out with mothers going to work by watching their kids after school. I watched as black women took care of elderly people that were no relation to their family. I watched my grandmother, aunts and mother invite those that had nothing in and help others in their time of need. I would hate to think that what I had witnessed was a small percentage in my community and my generation. Again. . . . Statistics????? Who’s Statistics???? Don’t believe the HYPE.

artofkawaii says:

March 17, 2010 at 1:55 am

wooooow, I can relate as a black woman and as an African to this. This applies perfectly to how Africans feel about the potrayal of Africa in western media. They lap up our crises but have no idea how well we are actually doing

theblackghost says:

March 17, 2010 at 2:26 am

so if all the doom stories and alarming statistic reports on BW are false and over exaggerated, do the people who read this blog say the same things when the media (this includes oprah, essence magazine, etc) have been publicizing these kind of stories on Black Men for YEARS upon YEARS? Its been recorded that 70% of black women are single and 42% will never be a bride in a wedding ceremony. What if the next time the stats are taken, 70% becomes 80% and 42% becomes 50%? what if having unprotected sex with a Black woman becomes one of the top leading causes of HIV transmission next to IV drug use and sex with an IV drug user? What would yall say if that happened?

DigitalRibbon says:

March 17, 2010 at 4:53 am

Great article and i very much liked reading all the responses.

Tracey says:

March 17, 2010 at 10:09 am

I wrote about this on my blog. It’s to ensure that those “outside of race” men that we are supposed to be looking to rescue us from our desperation are turned off, that’s their goal.

royaltee says:

March 17, 2010 at 10:25 am

Please don’t believe the statistics. most often the numbers are skewed to give the wanted result and rarely are these studies ever broken down to give the reader and idea of how they accumulated the data. all we are given is the results. especially is the results reflect negatively upon us. If you say 48% of black women have herpes and you only surveyed 200 is that really factual?? but you can survey a 1000 white women and 300 of them may have herpes but that only about 30% so now it looks like only 30% of white women have herpes while 48% of black women do??? you get my drift? I never believe statistical data unless I see how the study was conducted so yes ppl don’t believe the hype numbers do lie and so does the media…..that is all!

Akai says:

March 17, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Royaltee wrote: “…don’t believe the statistics … rarely are these studies ever broken down to give the reader and idea of how they accumulated the data. all we are given is the results … but you can survey a 1000 white women and 300 of them may have herpes but that only about 30% … you get my drift? I never believe statistical data unless I see how the study was conducted…”

It is amazing when an individual tries to tell people “don’t believe the statistics” then goes on to PROVE how little they actually comprehend about the basics of data collection and statistics especially. Take the data regarding herpes and AA females:

#1) This is an estimate based on the results of the CDC’s National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES).

#2) ANYONE TRULY INTERESTED IN THE SAMPLE METHODOLOGY, DOCUMENTATION ETC. REGARDING THE DATA – AS OPPOSED TO MERELY DENYING AND PLAYING THE VICTIM – CAN EASILY LOCATE THIS INFORMATION.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nhanes/nhanes2007-2008/demo07_08.htm
http://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/hsv2pressrelease.html

Now how hard was that?

#3) There is absolutely NO GAIN in the CDC or medical establishment wasting valuable time, dollars, resources and effort merely to ‘make AAs look bad’. This never-ending insinuation that big bad white boogiemen sit in a back room 24/7 plotting the downfall of the entire AA population is ree-damn-dic-ulous!!

#4) Responding out of nothing but emotion and getting defensive doesn’t stop people from getting infected or solve a thing!

truth says:

March 17, 2010 at 11:04 am

what i know and was to understand about the statistics is that the truth is that 48% of women with herpes are black, not 48% of black women have herpes…which makes it a lower number but of course everyone is intentionally misusing the numbers like theyve always done with anyone they want to degrade…

March 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Here is another example of totally insane reporting:

New Study Reveals All African American Women Could Be Overweight By 2034
http://blindie.com/2008/08/07/new-study-reveals-all-african-american-women-could-be-overweight-by-2034/

In this story, the scientist says that 100% of all black women will be obese or overweight by 2034 if current trends continue. In the same breath he says that this is statistically impossible for the general population — 100% obesity that is.

Of course, this is also statistically impossible for the population of African American women. You would think a scientific researcher would know this, and not put out a study with such a ridiculous title. Yet, this team did.

This is not to say that stories like these are a reason to deny that black women as a group face weight issues. But the manner and tone of the “reporting” is so insulting and absurd, that it seems intentionally condescending and shows a bias even in the brains of scientists to make black women look as foolish as possible despite statistical reality.

I agree with all the posters who say that we need to be realistic about facing our problems as a group, but we also need the mental strength to resist the presentation of facts that are collected and presented with a bias, so that we can inspire each other to make positive changes and hold our heads high.

Akai says:

March 17, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Maybe people should resist the spiel of individuals such as yourself since, while you’re accusing others of ‘presenting facts with a bias’, you proceeded to twist and misrepresent what was actually stated in this article. Let’s take a couple of points to prove and illustrate an emotional biased presentation:

Clarissa H. Matthews wrote: “…the scientist says that 100% of all black women will be obese or overweight by 2034…”

FALSE! What was stated was “…by 2034 all African American women are *expected to be* overweight or obese…”

Clarissa H. Matthews wrote: “…in the same breath he says that this is statistically impossible…”

Again, FALSE. What was actually written was “…one of the researchers on the study, points out that “genetically and physiologically, it *should be impossible*” for all U.S. adults to become overweight, but adds “that is the direction we’re going.”
Clarissa H. Matthews says:

March 17, 2010 at 6:52 pm

Respectfully, I think you are actually confirming my points. To say that 100% of all black women are expected to be overweight or obese, in the same breath that you say for the general population that’s statistically impossible, though we are “moving in that direction,” makes a contradictory statement.

I have to ask you, why does the scientist not say: “Black women are moving in that direction more quickly, like the rest of the general population, while it’s impossible for any group to be 100% overweight.”

Can you explain why he would state that 100% of black women are expected to be overweight or obese, while he also believes that the rest of the population CANNOT achieve this? Can he? I doubt it.

Imagine: 100% and “expected.” That is the results they released. Every black woman in America expected to be overweight at some point, but no other group. I think it’s a ridiculous, harmful, irresponsible, and even they admit, actually impossible finding.

If that is not ridiculous bias, I don’t know what is. I am just pointing out a trend in reporting, and you can disagree with my opinions. I respect and appreciate this discussion forum.

Icon Americana says:

March 17, 2010 at 5:59 pm

“It’s like we’re fair game, ’cause WHO will come to our defense? ” — Dee

You do not hear much about us in mainstream media (or even in much black media) where it is highly profitable to depict images of men and women at war with each other.

Nonetheless, there are men who see women in a positive light. More than that, we dedicate our efforts to tell the world about the beautiful qualities we see in them.

Just wanted you to know…

Rick

Dot says:

March 17, 2010 at 6:55 pm

My issue with this article is that black women are giving themselves a superficial congratulatory pad on the back when these issues are prevalent within the black community.

Like everybody else, I question statistics and where they originated, but at the same time, truth be told: Marriage isn’t on the rise in the black community but AIDS is, we are the biggest consumers in the hair-care industry, and obesity is a concern in the black community. We can’t simply brush it off. What we have to do is acknowledge the problem and tackle it because if we remain in our bubble, nothing will be done.

If I stay stuck in my bubble, in my family alone 9 out of 10 women are married. So, according to my ”research” 90% of black women are married. Yes, I will ignore the concerns of some black women out there because in my precious little bubble, black women 5 out of 10 black women never marry.

Nneoma says:

March 17, 2010 at 7:42 pm

HERPES…a sexually transmitted disease…I don’t see why it would be difficult to understand why there is such a high prevalence in a minority community.

Example…say you have Race A which consists of 100 people and Race B which consists of 10 people. Then there’s herpes. If members of the minority group are only having sex with each other (as in the case of black people – we tend to stick to our own…the Census will tell you this), you can see how it would be easier to get a higher percentage of a STD among this group….as opposed to Race A, which has a wide variety of pickings.

If majority and minority group largely have similar sexual behaviors, based on numbers alone, the minority group would be harder hit by an infectious disease of any sort (sexual, air-borne etc). Then you add into the mix lower socioeconomic status and results from the US census that state that black women are less likely to marry (which one can make the assumption that maybe they are not necessarily monogamous) the percent infected in this population will skyrocket. It’s not too difficult to imagine.

In regards to the singleness of black women – most of these stats came from the US Census – which is one of the few truly population-based studies out there. Black women are not marrying at the same rates of their white counterparts…simple. period. end of story. This is a reasonable assumption to come to from US Census results…unless you can prove some systematic error in which the Census fails to capture married black women ONLY. And for all you married-to-the-black-president, educated, black women who have it all put together…fill out the damn census…maybe then the black female outlook may look better (note sarcasm).

Andrea says:

March 17, 2010 at 10:09 pm

I agree, most of the statistics are misleading. However, over the course of several hundreds of years they have yet to brainstorm a tactic that will depress the great majority of African-American women. I guess they figure since a good number of our men are locked up, we should be saddened and depressed. This is just subtle racism in my opinion. Instead of making us slaves in the physical sense, they seek to destroy the African-American woman’s confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth.

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March 17, 2010 at 10:11 pm

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Scott says:

March 18, 2010 at 11:40 am

Why are you blaming the statistics? Low self esteem added to promiscuity equals sex without condoms MOST OF THE TIME. And Sex without condoms equals sexually transmitted diseases. But we already know that a lot of black women are having sex without condoms, because of the high (72%) out of wedlock birthrates. They aren t getting pregnant due to condom breakage. They aren t requiring their male partners to wear condoms. So 48% is not far fetched if the out of wedlock birthrate is 72%. Sorry.

The reason for the wealth being 5 dollars is due to financial discrimination and financial irresponsibility….Blacks as a whole are ONLY offered the worst loans. And usually have to pay more for EVERYTHING. However, black women are the biggest consumers out there. They spend on everything from fake hair to shoes. If more black women would invest in their banks then their shoe collection they would have more money.

I wish more black women would stop disputing the stats and start disputing THEIR behavior that is causing the stats.

Joe Clyde says:

March 18, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Thank you. It is simple math.
Clarissa H. Matthews says:

March 18, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Scott, I am sure that as a black woman, you know everything about both the social and psychological reasons behind our social problems. That’s why it’s all our fault for not listening to you in all your deep wisdom.

I love the fact that you can acknowledge the incredibly unbalanced nature of predatory lending in the same breath that you blame black women for spending all their money on shoes.

THIS IS EXACTLY the contradictory nature of the blame game that seeks to make black women both the pitiful victim and the sole cause of all their issues, according to myopic social critics like you.

It is well documented that, in the sub-prime mortgage mess alone, that black women were given far more expensive and much more destructive loans — TO BUY VALUABLE ASSETS LIKE HOUSES — than white men with comparable credit.

So you are generalizing in a degrading way as you blame, weaving together facts to make black women look bad even in situations where they were responsible. It was the banks, mostly run by white guys, that destroyed the net worth of many black women recently.

Where is that headline: “White Men Ruin the Economy for Everybody.” Hmmmmm?

You would have low self-esteem too, if you had to face a world that treats you like this every day of your life. But that is something that you would not understand. Oh wait, I forgot — you wrote the book on black women and self-esteem.

Maybe if black women and men got back the billions of dollars that they were raped of during the sub-prime mess, the median net worth of single black women would be higher. But I digress.

Besides, NO ONE is disputing fact that black women are poor. Black women have always been poor because our society runs on mental thinking like yours that we have had to struggle against since our first days here. This is not news. I am talking about the cruel, callous, accusatory and stereotyping manner that this “news” is being presented in at this time in history, when things are probably better than ever for us.

Thanks for providing us with a living attitude of a contradictory discriminating attitude that “news” like this just whips up and foments so people like you feel you have a right to be racist and self-righteous.

BlackLove2010 says:

March 18, 2010 at 12:27 pm

White Feminism Stab you in the dang back huh Black woman… We were progressing the correct way in the 70′s black woman now look at you! How you feel about that good old white man that controls these medias? What about the white women that was on your side! Black woman! White women aren’t looking so great either but guess what everybody slowly falling for the stereotypically submission Asian that White Feminist made fun of!

Maybe all this criticism will unify the black family

TheSoleblog says:

March 18, 2010 at 8:38 pm

Let us not forget this statistic I read recently:

100% of Black women will be overweight by 2034.

t_loves2shop says:

March 18, 2010 at 11:19 pm

Are you serious!?! How can you say 100% of a race will be overweight by a certain year? It is in some people’s genetic make up to be smaller. Will their metabolism stop working by 2034? Some black women are anorexic. Will they all of a sudden get an uncontrollable urge to eat? You will never have an entire ethnic group or gender that is overweight. Even though we share a similarity we are still individuals.
hehe says:

March 28, 2010 at 11:47 am

yeah, because all of america will be obese by 2034!!

Leslie says:

March 18, 2010 at 9:11 pm

In a sense I feel that the depiction of black women as constant victims with overblown social problems is because it is easier to connect and be sympathetic to the plight of a black woman versus a black man. The social ills of black women exist for black men too but it is easier for audiences to sympathize with a woman over a man. I think women in general get bad roles in all forms of media (women are the constant victims in just about every show on Lifetime Network) and now black women are just being seen more. At least now we can be a little bit more sympathetic to non-black audiences. I think we could use that to our advantage if we strategize better. Let’s not forget that the depictions that you see on-screen really do exist in the black community and that they should not be ignored. But we do need to work towards showing a more positive view of ourselves while still being honest about our problems.

On a related note, black people in general do have a lot of pathologies that are often ignored or not recognized behind the strong black female/male stereotype. It is easy to cling to the somewhat more positive stereotype but it hides some real social and mental problems in the black community. There is a legacy of slavery that has produced some hard to shake cultural psychoses that we need to deal with as a whole. It is not enough to simple pray and hope that these things go away. I agree with the ‘Bill-Cosby-philosophy’ of reflecting upon ourselves and taking full responsibility for all that happens to us. It is great to rail against negative stereotypes in the media but are we really doing the most good by marginalizing these very real characters from the screen and our consciousness? They may not be the typical black American but there are enough of them that hold us as a people back. What are we doing besides shaking our finger at them in private and denying they exist in public? Some have remarked about how much money is being spent on building more and more mega-churches without any real benefit (e.g. reinvestment of wealth) to the black community. Those who need help most aren’t going to church and are not being reached by the (now dwindling) middle and upper classed blacks leaving them in the ghetto. I think that strengthening the mental health of black America should be just as important as the so-called spiritual health to really get to the bottom of our social ills. A few upwardly mobile people making more money for themselves, building more churches, and crying over every negative stereotype on-screen or statistic does nothing really to uplift Black America as a whole. The few that make it out of the ghetto rarely give enough back to make a real sustainable difference. Like Bill Cosby, I think strengthening Black America involves attaining an education (disciplines the brain) but I would add real psychological help as well (disciplines the mind). Mental health can be helped by more positive images in the media and making more positive the black people already out there in the media (we almost accomplished this in the 70’s black power movement) but that doesn’t hit home personally like the negative ones depicted on the screen. There has to be a cultural and mental shift.

Poor mental health is the last taboo about black folks. Let’s face it we have real depression, real psychopaths who rape, murder, and steal; we have seen so much blatant violence and racism that our mental health has have been affected. But no one seems to want to acknowledge this. This didn’t happen all at once. The aftermath of slavery and Jim Crow has eroded our collective self-esteem and energy to fully invest in healing our mental health issues for centuries. I am only two generations away from slavery in my family tree so it is going to take more time than that to overcome slave mentality. Compared to other women in America, to most it actually does sucks to be a black woman so let’s just admit it. Denying the truth that it sucks doesn’t solve the problem but that doesn’t have to be the end of the story. In my opinion, hiding behind the strong black stereotype has created more of the dare-to-be-as-bad-as-I-want-to-be meme rather than the well adjusted notion that I can face all obstacles and still hold my integrity. Many black people would rather prove themselves on the street rather than in the classroom, boardroom, or Wall Street. That notion isn’t all in the media; we are enforcing that on ourselves now. I will not defend negative depictions in media but it is no longer the big white media that is doing it now. It is us by our willing patronage and media productions. There is something mentally wrong with a people who would do that to themselves.

Back to my earlier point, the rise of successful black women over black men is now more threatening to non-blacks in the workplace (more financially viable than black men), as sexual partners (big butts are still in style), and as intellectual equals to white Americans. Black females are outnumbering black males in college and in the workforce by sheer numbers alone. Black men are more likely to be incarcerated thus not eligible to vote or enjoy a variety of other privileges as an American citizen. Those are not made up statistics. I hate to say it but black women are the growing threat/target to white Americans. The not so new stereotype of being helpless victims in need of rescuing is a way to soften that threat and nullify the strong black female archetype. But in another way, it equalizes us to white women as this is the stereotype for them also (again something black women could used to our advantage). This is not a new notion. It just has a more visible black face now. I think there are many black female role models that deserve our attention and adoration but it is up to the black community to support and promote them. Black History Month isn’t enough. An honorable mention in Women’s History Month isn’t enough.

If you are really passionate about black female depictions in film don’t go see Tyler Perry films or Precious. Infiltrate movie chat rooms and comment on how well Zoe Saldana was in AVATAR or Star Trek or some other black female actress (not just in black websites). Create more buzz about positive black females in films. Find out when good movies and tv shows are coming out and support them as vigorously as you criticize bad media. How many went out to the movie theater to see Love Jones or Hav Plenty or Rwanda Hotel when it came out? Not that I like everything by Spike Lee but he does hire up-and-coming black actors first and is one of the hardest working black men behind the camera. Yet he can’t greenlight or barely get money for a film. I am focusing on visual media because that is more easily confronted than statistics by reputable institutions. Plus this is more accessible to varying economic levels of America. I know this is a forum to vent but it is time to stop whining about Hollywood and support your own. Make Atlanta or New York City the new black Hollywood or something more constructive.

March 18, 2010 at 11:50 pm

my comment was for scott

March 18, 2010 at 11:54 pm

I wrote this comment sometime ago, but it got deleted…

Re Herpes: It is not hard to imagine why minority groups would be hardest hit by any type of infectious disease
For example, say you have Race A that has 100 people and Race B that has 10 people. Then, there is a sexually transmitted diease that has been going around. Like many minority groups, Race B only engages in sexual activities with members of its own group…the picking are limited to that group of ten (as demonstrated by the census that Race B largely sticks to Race B, in terms of marriage that is…other than that, we dont know, but less assume that B people are sleeping with B people). Then you have Race A with 100 people and they have a wide variety of sexual partners to choose from, by their sheer numbers. If one person in Race B has an STD, you will find that it gets shared more widely among Race B, in comparison to if one person in race A had the STD…it would take a longer time for members of Race A to get the STD. Then to that scenario, add the fact that wealth is disproportionately slanted towards Race A – access to healthcare, contraceptives, and barrier methods, and you will find that a person of B race has an exaggerated risk for the STD compared to a person of A race.

This is what is going on in minority communities, particularly African American communities. I bet that few years down the line, the rates of herpes infections that we see in blacks will be the same for whites. Minorities just happen to be harder hit because they are one minorities and two all the other baggage that comes with being a minority that happens to be, on average, at a socioeconomic disadvantage when compared to other ethnic groups.

In regards to black females being single…I don’t know how else to say this – but we marry at a lower rate compared to white females…period. I don’t know the reason and no news report on the tele is going to give anyone a satisfactory reason because their reports of a couple of on-point single black females in Washington DC is merely anecdotal evidence. Look at the facts…even if you dont “believe” in most statistics, the results of the US Census should ring credible – it is one of the few truly population based studies out there. Okay, you think it’s biased – that all of you who claim so who are married, with an amazing black man by your side and living the Michelle Obama-esque life should fill out the damn census so that it reflects the totality of the black experiences…

What I see in many of these comments in an increasing wave of classicism that is taking root in many who belong in the black middle-to-upper class. The rest of poor black America is embarrassing us and the only way to counteract such portrayals is to ignore or even discredit (as some of you have) their experiences. Thank God for the black (and white and other) doctors, researchers, lawyers and others who do not stick their heads in the sand when uncomfortable statistics come their way but rather invest their lives in discovering the roots of these disparities and trying to find a way to overcome them. It seems like many of you would rather we doctor the stats so that you and your girls will artificially feel happier about being black.

Personally, I have no shame in calling myself black, African American, African what-have-you even though I belong to two groups of people (African and African American) who have some of the worst social, educational, and health and otherwise outcomes in the world. It hurts yes, but I refuse to be crippled but such challenges nor do I give such challenges undue power by avoiding them. I refuse to ignore or deny the challenges of adversity but rather, I face it head on. That, to me, is the quintessential black ethic.

And like they say, the first step to overcoming a problem is admitting it. Time to face our collective fears folks…STOP STICKING YOUR HEADS IN THE SAND…