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“I feel like a girlfriend has died.” – Michaela angela Davis
On Friday evening, cultural critic and writer Michaela…
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Exploring the growing myth of rappers and the Illuminati.
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The painful history behind hair and race in the Coloured community of South Africa.
Reclaiming the power to call the shots, and being the first to ask for the number.
The importance of self-awareness and honesty to winning the dating game.
Just Because I’m Black Doesn’t Mean…
Published on 3/16/2009
All too many people make the mistake of assuming that we are limited in scope from our lifestyles to our personal interests. Despite popular belief, Black women epitomize multiplicity in a vast array of forms, which continually defy long held stereotypes. Here’s a look of some of the many factors that blow some of those archaic labels right out of the water.
Just because we’re Black doesn’t mean:
- We can’t enjoy music that plays on non-Black radio stations.
- Issues of animal rights or environmental preservation aren’t of paramount interest to us.
- We don’t watch shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm or Arrested Development and the Colbert Report.
- We can’t be outdoorsy types.
- One should assume that we are unwed with children.
- We don’t engage in extreme or winter weather sports.
- We don’t love cats.
- Don’t embrace religions other than Islam or Christianity.
- Independent films are off limits.
- That we don’t find men from other nationalities sexy.
- That we’re not interested in traveling to far away places like Fiji, Vietnam, or Bali.
- We are angry, or aggressive, or loose cannons.
- We can’t have rare or arbitrary tastes in fashion, art or music.
- That we are obligated to adore Beyonce.
- We aren’t vegetarians or vegans.
- We don’t have an interest in the fields of technology, science or engineering.
Clutchettes and gentleman please free to add on to the list!
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“That I revere, not respect, not appreciate, but REVERE Michelle Obama…she’s cool, but she’s not new to me!”
Well said.
….i go to church.
….i eat fried chicken.
….my idol can’t be Julie Andrews
….i listen to or even know much about hip hop
….the majority of my friends have to be black
gawd…i could go on…..
…i can’t say awesome or dude.
…that i enjoy movies with an ALL black cast (cuz the majority of them suck)
…that I believe in everything Obama (he’s still a politician)
…i eat grits
Just because I’m Black doesn’t mean….
I don’t watch Joan Crawford and Myrna Loy on Turner Classic Movies
I eat fried chicken
I don’t understand what tanning means or how it happens
I don’t enjoy Will Ferrell, Napolean Dynamite or Office Space
I had to go to an HBCU (It was my choice to be there)
I am afraid to leave home and travel
I don’t enjoy GREAT 80s pop
and just because I am black doesn’t mean I am NOT just like you!
well said :)
Just because I’m Black doesn’t mean…
I’m homophobic or against gay marriage (I love every gay person I’ve ever encountered)
I can’t be a feminist
I can’t love tofu
I identify with hip hop culture
I have multiple children by various men
I don’t love animals and respect them by choosing not to eat their flesh
I don’t have an amazing, ever present father who has been in my life the whole 28 years I’ve been living it
Does not mean we didn’t earn scholarships, but were handed to us because of Affirmative Action
Can’t adopt or be foster parents (and to children outside our own race)
That we don’t use cloth diapers.
That we can’t enjoy Daft Punk and detest 50 cent
That we didn’t take 3 years of Latin and 1 year of French in high school
That we would not be interested in joining the Peace Corps
That my best friend can’t be Hispanic
That we date outside our race because there are no good Black men
That we don’t watch C-SPAN.
That we watch reality t.v shows, period
That we can dance
Speak slang constantly
Don’t know our fathers’
Wish we had straight hair
That we are not paranoid about the New World Order
That I can’t have family members that make over $250,000, that are not in the entertaining business.
That we call each other ni%&^*s , bitches ,and ho’s on a regular base.
That we want hand outs and welfare (we are not multinational corporations :)
The saddest part is that we stereotype and judge one another.
Just because I’m black doesn’t mean:
…I can’t enjoy sports other than basketball and football. I played tennis, was good at it, and thoroughly enjoyed it…
…I can only appreciate rap, r&b and hip hop… I played Violin and that was one of the most entertaining and enriching things I could ever have experienced. And I plan on learning to play my FAVORITE instrument soon… CELLO! (To me it sounds as if the finest velvet or silk was made into music…)
just because i’m black that doesn’t mean that the African american diet is Chicken and biscuts.
because I am black does not mean
- that I am a drug addict
- that police are always looking for me
- that I hate white
Just because I’m black doesn’t mean that Obama is my messiah.
just because i’m black, doesn’t mean i wear weave all the time. or do a ghetto girl pose. or follow lil wayne. or have dreds.
Just because I am black doesn’t mean:
-I will purchase a new Gucci bag before I pay bills
-I am fluent in ebonics
-I don’t watch Friends, Grey’s Anatomy or King of Queens
-My favorite television channel is BET
-My ancestors were slaves and/or native americans & I’m waiting for
reparations
-I don’t take in foster children for a check
…doesn’t mean I need to take up my rightful place as the only person who can bring into existance and therefore strengthen the 360 degrees of the Afrikan experience: the political, economic, family and community structures, sources and mediums of mass/group communication, marital, Afrikan love, parental, structured Afrikan childhood experience, cultural, spiritual, Afrikan holistic health, continental.
Thank the heavens someone said, im tired of being in boxes and categories that people put me in because of my nationality and race. I am Jamaican and i DONT like Bob Marley sue me!
The funny thing is that 99% list described me pretty much. I am sick of all the stereotypes.
Just because I am black doesn’t mean that:
1. I am automatically part of what some call the “african-american –hood” culture. Someone can actually be international, mixed with different cultures, and not understand black culture as some define it. I’m Dutch-Caribbean and I was raised to value family, education and to have a sense of pride in being refined.
2. I have to be loud, obnoxious, curse like a sailor, and cannot properly use the full English vernacular. It is so annoying that people insist on sounding ignorant even in professional environment. Stereotypes are so pervasive already, why affirm it even more?
3. That I’m automatically going to dignify your derogatory sleazy come-ons because you think that I haven’t been affirmed in my life.
4. That I don’t read Wired, Forbes, Redbook, Good Housekeeping, Harper’s Bazaar, Fitness Magazine and my fav Body+ Soul. I LOVE the whole organic and recycling movement!
5. That I don’t like anything “white”– from clothing store preferences, to music, food, to social events. No, I don’t believe the white man is trying to hold you down. Yes, I believe there is still a disgusting undercurrent of racism in this country. Bring understanding instead of division no matter what others are doing.
Here’s more I’ve dealt with… B/C I’m a black chick I…
1. Don’t know Kings of Leon
2. Don’t embrace the depth of other cultures
3. Smell different
4. Don’t like to go swimming b/c it’ll ruin my hair
5. Don’t enjoy to read…Even read books by authors that aren’t black
6. Roll my neck when I’m pissed off
7. Say “ooh child” and “yeah sistah” (I hate it when they write this in movie scripts)
8. Don’t eat sushi
i love this post and the comment comments. can I get group e-hug? lol
I have seen Paid in Full
I watch the Simpsons (Family Guy or that other show)
I cant use proper English
If i wear my hair straight that i have a perm
I spend money on frivolous things
One of my closest friends cant be white
The word “dude” cannot be a frequently used word in my vocab
That i cant absolutely love The Kaine show on 99.5
I have to accept the first man to come my way because of the ratio of black men/black women
I only read books by Zane, Sista Souljah, Omar Tyree, and the likes…
I dont pick up the newspaper and read once in a while
Hell, that i dont read at all
That I dont know much about politics
Lastly, that I shouldn’t wear my hair to work in its “Natural” state….(wtf, has really been addressed to me, altho i still do it)
But I dont like or watch Curb Your Enthusiam.
Arrested Development was just ok. I LOVED Malcolm In The Middle.
Colbert Report is funny!
*hug for whit* =)
Here’s some more (on behalf of my sis and friends):
Because we’re black chicks doesn’t mean:
–that we don’t adore science-fiction/fantasy books, movies, and shows.
–that we don’t play video games.
–that we don’t listen to metal/alt. rock
–that we can sing or are athletic
ummmmm
-that I’m completely comfortable being walked on for the fame and glory of my male counterparts
-that I love and cherish the means by which many of my “leaders” “role models” and people have gotten ahead.
-that I’m one extreme,AFROCENTRIC or the other AFRICAN AMERICAN
-That I’m NOT smarter then the discovery channel.
-that I have “ISSUES”.
-that I haven’t OVERCOME the issues that my community faces.
-a slave, in the mental physical or spiritual worlds, not me.
I think if you look at other “successful” groups of people (socially, economically, politically) they tend to share and cherish the many aspects of their identity, culture and heritage.
What group of people do most of the bullet points at the beginning of the article tend to belong to ?
Just because I’m Black DOESN’T mean that:
1. I’m trying to live in the image of Beyonce’ or Nikki Minaj
2. I can’t attend Florida State University instead of FAMU because it’s not an HBCU
3. I hate reading
a. and if I do read it’s only African American sex novels
4. I couldn’t have taken ballet for more than a few childhood years
5. I don’t enjoy watching “The Office”
6. I idolize Lil Wayne and the rest of Young Money
7. I couldn’t have a father who has always been there and was married to my mother before I was conceived
8. I don’t like rock music; alternative or indie…and I don’t like 80s pop
9. I wear weave or fake nails or fake anything
10. I love watermelon
11. I was raised in the hood and not a nice suburban setting
12. I have seen every Black film based on violence, sex, and drug-dealing
yeap, that sounds about right
This article and comments are leaving me a little uneasy. By saying that “Just beacause I’m Black, doesn’t mean…”, are you also saying that these things you’re not are typically black? I think that it’s pretty insensitive of us to say things like:
Because you’re black:
- You don’t know who my father is
- You have two or more baby daddies
- You like Obama, simply because he’s black and you do not have the intelligence to appreciate what he brings to the table.
- You have a crappy diet and enjoy being overweight and unhealthy.
I could go on and on. Being black encompasses many things. Saying what we’re “not” in this fashion is almost as if you were looking down upon those who “are” these exact same things… Being black can mean having a six figure salary by being an engineer, but unfortunately, it can also mean not knowing who your father is.
Just my two cents!
I agree with Hmmmm and Solgar. We as a people, especially those of us who are privileged or educated, are always trying to define ourselves by distancing ourselves from these stereotypes and images that are put upon us by other people. Rather than embracing that we are very layered community we lambaste those that are less fortunate and empowered by screaming how much we love to do things that “others” do. If someone is making you feel like an anomaly because you watch a program–a program that excludes people that look like you–and you trip over yourself to scream how “like them” you are, there is a problem. Tell that idiot to go kick rocks!
It makes me uneasy to hear all these things, most of them about things that are typically “white” as being not the “norm” in black society.
If you watch a program or partake in an activity that YOU think black don’t like or participate in, who is the one that is making assumptions here?
Who is this article for? I would say that these list are list for “others”. Don’t get me wrong, I hear these off the wall things all the time when I go to Vermont to snowboard or someone sees the Arrested Development dvd in my apartment (it belongs to my bf, I can’t stand that show). But, instead of trying to explain that, despite my blackness, I enjoy these thing, I ask them why its seems at odds that I would like a show or an activity.
One more thing, I am so tired of the fried chicken thing. Every civilization, race, ethnicity, whatever that has had access to a pot, a lipid, and a bird has fried that sucker!
So here’s my list:
Just because I am black…
1. Doesn’t mean anything except that I am human.
Amen to that :)
I have to say Lagina, I love your list! It’s short yet says it all…
@Solgar, Lagina and Hmmm
I definitely understand your viewpoint and appreciate another side of the argument. We as an ethnic group have different societal intricacies. But I’ve found that in this ethnic group, we are one of the only ones to be OK with staying in a struggle and accept the stereotype. I’m international (born and lived abroad for most of my life) and honestly–you might’ve been born poor but we’ll be damned to stay in that state. People look at you like…”WHAT ARE YOU DOING??” All ethnic groups will have some that are just really victims of their circumstances but it’s like they say “it doesn’t matter where you start but where you finish”.
I work with people who just say..I’m fine being on hoodrat status and assume that you are co-signing on all the foolishness involved in that. When you act different–you are looked as walking outside the box, “not being black enough” or a conspirator.
I don’t think most of the commenters meant there lists in ill-will or don’t appreciate their ethnic group. Sometimes your ethnic group makes you feel like an outsider. I appreciate my ethnicity and appreciate the strength that accompanied our survival. Just sometimes I wish we could all let go of past hurts and ignorance and move on into a more pluralistic acceptance of each other.
I see what you’re saying. But at the same time, that is why we need to mentor. if you “made it” and/or have experienced different things, why not share it with others who do not have the same opportunities? You can go snowboarding and watch Arrested Development (I love that show!!) and still be “down with the peeps”. I always tell others to try things before dismissing them. Include one of those “hoodrats” in one activity you partake in… You never know, they might just like it. In my line of work, there is a lot of golfing involved. When I tried it for the first time, I was completely out of my element – the only black women at a 300+ people event – but I played the part! Got all my gear and I looked like a pro! Couldn’t hit the ball but looked like a pro. I’ve tried it, am not crazy about it but don’t hate it either and I can add it to the repertoire of things that I’ve done. I will now take my nieces and nephews golfing and if they like it, they can stick to it, otherwise, they can at least say that they gave it a shot!
My point is, let’s not create additional barriers within our community (or could it be considered as classicism which already exits…) and encourage one another to discover different things!
That we all identify with the ever present “mad black woman” in our media
That we cant be Jews (yea thats right)
That we LOVE Tyler Perry (Im sorry but it’s getting old)
That BET is the only channel we watch.
That we don’t listen to metal
and finally
That we don’t date men of other races, esp. Asian.
i love that so many people here love “curb your enthusiasm”. lol that’s my favorite show!
i agree with most of the listings. i’m always trying to open myself up to new things; right now i’m really interested in russian literature and language.
i hate that we’re supposed to be something, by whose standards? certainly not mine. my mom tells me to ‘act more black.’ because i speak english coherently, a classmate tells me to “speak my race.” and when i didn’t want to partake in cheating on a biology test a few years ago, a classmate told me i must not be black.
Just because I’m black doesn’t mean
1. I can’t speak proper English or choose not to.
2. I love chicken (although I do).
3. I don’t know who my father is.
4. I voted for Obama.
5. I support OJ.
6. I hate Tiger Woods.
7. I hate white people.
8. I’ve seen Boyz N’ The Hood.
9. I worship Weezy.
10. My ancestors were slaves.
11. I prefer basketball and football over all other sports.
12. I’m destined for failure.
13. I belong to the most hated yet most remarkable race on the planet. (oh wait yes it does).
I agree with everyone. But at the same time, there is nothing wrong with liking some sterotypical “black things”. We dont have to prove anything to anybody, especially White America.
I’m Black and I’m not gonna be ashamed to say I like fried chicken because of some silly stereotype, created by ignorant people. I do enjoy listening to hip-hop(sometimes) & so what If I enjoy kool-aid now and then.
Is it a crime to like, above mentioned ? Its whatever for me.
I work in your sterotypical American newsroom. Its like; 87% White and the remaining percentage are token minorities scattered around (mostly asian). I’m one of the only 2 black women working there. We get stereotypes and preconceived notions applied to us everyday from co-workers “I hear Black women do….” ” Black guys are….” ” But I thought Black people do this, that, third”…..stereotype after stereotype…..
Fact of the matter is, people are gonna think the way they wanna think. You dont have to prove anything to them. If someone wants to judge you even before knowing you, you better thank god. Cause ignorant people are no fun to be around. Sucks for me :p
Just Because I’m Black Doesn’t Mean–
I talk like I’m “hood” or am from the hood
I aspire to be a video vixen or 5 star chick
I don’t like dogs lol
I yell in the movie theater (ok I do sometimes)
I can’t have friends or relationships with people of different races
I have a weave
I have to know how to survive in the hood
I love fried chicken, watermelon, and kool aid although I pretty much do lol
I stereotype people of my own race for not being “black” enough
The funny thing is many of the steretoypes I associate with and am not ashamed of however I do not want anyone to ever judge based solely on the fact that I’m black. Unfortunately being that i’m only 14 I’ll have to face many prejudices and have stereotypes thrust upon me by many people who believe that I should be a certain way.That does not mean at all though, that I will change myself in any context out of fear or shame. I am though proud to be Black.
Just Because I’m Black Doesn’t Mean–
1. I couldnt be a scientist
2. I am not an architect
3. I couldnt be an engineer
4. Im not a physicist
5. I dont drink soy, rice, or almond milk
6. I dont wish for organic roma tomatoes
7. I dont eat whole grain cereal, bread, or rice
8. I dont search for free range or on antibiotic pumped meats
9. I dont eat vegan
1
Just because I’m black:
* doesn’t mean I can’t be black with a culture (Cuban).
* doesn’t mean I speak ebonics or slang
* doesn’t mean that I don’t eat sushi
* doesn’t mean that my hair isn’t grown from my own scalp
* doesn’t mean I relax or perm my hair
* doesn’t mean I won’t wear black nail polish
* doesn’t mean I can’t rock out to Country music
Some of these responses are have me in tears. Keep ‘em coming! Lmao!
Just because I’m black doesn’t mean:
-I can’t listen to classical music.
-I can’t be intelligent.
-I can’t speak “proper” english.
-I can’t aspire to be something great.
just because i’m a black chick doesn’t mean….
*i care about black men dating white women. what makes you think i don’t get down with the swirl/bumblebee/etc?
*that i represent/know all black chicks everywhere, and can answer why who-and-so does such-and-such
*i don’t have a KORN station on pandora
*i’ve ever eaten ‘chitlins’
*i like tyler perry’s movies and shows
*i draw attention to my figure at all times
*i don’t knit/paint/sew/get creative
*i like guys with rims, candy paint, and a system that cost more than the car itself
I’m completely astonished. I don’t think any of these things of black people. It never even crossed my mind that a black guy or girl can’t like the Office. I mean I know and experience racism almost daily but stereotypes are a whole different issue. To say it lightly, that’s so 70s. And seriously, it sounds to me like you guys put these stereo types on your selves. C’mon! Fried chicken? Everybody loves that. Why does it have to be a black thing?
well some people don’t have any kind of relationship with black people, and their only access is through mainstream media which [with some exceptions] doesn’t really portray us as varied in our interests and activities. the point is we are people like anyone else but we get put into little categories [the sista girl, the mammy, etc...] and when we don’t fit the role, it surprises people. it shouldn’t but it does, and we are not making it up.
it could be possible that because you have your own problems to deal with in terms of race, you don’t really notice stereotypes coming out to play for others. perspective is a hell of a thing…It’s also a lot more subtle than it used to be. What used to be yelled out in the street is now whispered among friends behind closed doors, and that keeps the stereotypes going.
wow. what if a ‘Just Because I’m African/of African descent…’
*got started…. smh.
it cld go from just bcuz im african doesnt mean i smell to just becuase im african doesnt mean i speak another language or speak “african”
honestly, the whole point of this is just that ppl are IGNORANT!
Just because I’m black doesn’t mean…
-I buy knock-offs.
-I only buy Jordan and Nike tennis shoes.
-I never left the country.
-I want multiracial children with “good” hair.
-I use or believe in the term “good hair”
-I use the word “ain’t”.
-That I have food stamps or other governmental assistance.
-That I drink Kool-Aid.
-That I can dance, sing or cook.
-That I can fry chicken, pork chops, etc.
-That I was raised in the “hood” or the “south”.
I can sooo relate to what everyone wrote on here. Media makes it seem like we’re one-dimensional, but we’re not. I relate most to what Brit and Crystal wrote.
I also agree with Jenn. Just cause I’m Black and I live in America, doesnt mean I’m Black American….per se. Nothing wrong with Black Americans, but I come from a completely different Black culture (Bahamas) and dont always relate to American culture much.
But this article is great! I went to the doctors office the other day, and doctor was asking me some questions. She asked if I had kids, when said “no” she was shocked. Then she made an ignorant statement that it was common for “girls like me” to have kids ?!?!
Despite stats on Black teen pregnancy rates and how many baby-mamas you see….Not every black chick, has kids or even wants one.
I had the hugest crush on this guy… I’m of a mixed complexion, my dads black and my moms white, and my crush is white. we were hitting it off, everything was going great until he told my friend that he is too racist to date a black “chick”… and that if I was white he would maybe concider dating me. I am devistated, and angry that in 2010 people are still hung up on skin colour! Can’t we all grow up and realize skin, race and culture doesnt mean anything… its about the personality and who the person is inside… not the outside what so ever. But i’ve come to realize that I dont want to waste my time on someone so shallow, and racist… and some might even call him a dick. I’m glad that I am not wasting another breath, or second on that low life, piece of scum. In the long run I’ve taught myself to say, it’s his loss, and yes it truly is.
We don’t need to see this. All the ignorant people in the world that withhold prejudice thoughts should and those that execute them.This kid in my class the other day asked what is the difference between “stereotypes and facts” which in his opinion should be used as an excuse to decide that all white people are innocent and that anyones race is an excuse for the suffering of immigrants, their descendants, Native Americans who were deemed inferior and undeserving of sharing the land they already rightful possessed, and especially the poverty some of us experience because they don’t always let us move up to name a few (I’m sorry if I didn’t address more important matters I figured you would get the idea). Maybe I should print this out and shove this in this kids face and say that the that is the difference between stereotypes and facts dumb… you know the rest. This Just World Phenomenon does not apply to white people apparently and people don’t want it to stop there. I know that its 2010 but the point is that numbers don’t make a person, a man that was racist in 1975 with all of his might can still be racist today. If they don’t want to accept that other people of all races are capable of interracial friendships, marriages, and can actually be concerned with other problems that don’t concern their own race well that is what makes those ignorant people ignorant. I’m going to focus on the people that can tell the difference between stereotypes and facts and appreciate that I have them as positive influences in my life.
I can’t like classical music or play a classical instrument
I love this!
-that I can break out and sing with an amazing soulfull voice.
I hate it when people assume that.
That all of us like to eat barbecue every weekend. That all of us have to have a 40 to go to sleep. That all of us like to sleep around with whomever. That all of us like to use profanity when we talk. That all of us are constantly late.