Comments on: Rantings, Random Thoughts, and Realizations on Race by a Young Black Woman

By: Jon

Jon — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 14:13:12 +0000

Great great great article.

By: imani k.

imani k. — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 06:54:59 +0000

I think it’s important enough
that we focus on celebrating
black african/american culture and uplifting ourselves, our beauty, music,
fashion, and the wealth of
influence upon this earth, across the world. we need to
focus on building up a solid
black infrastructure, ties and power base within our own
race of people in africa and
throughout the black diaspora, building up strong family ties, building our own
schools, teaching our own history and if whites want to
know about us…let them read our books. imami k.

By: LouLou

LouLou — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 18:51:31 +0000

Candra…I couldn’t have said it better myself!!!

By: Lish

Lish — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 03:55:42 +0000

we need to get rid of king magazine and others like it!

By: Sonji Barnes, PhD

Sonji Barnes, PhD — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 20:04:26 +0000

Great article. Unfortunately, our taking back who we are, is still subject to the remarks and ignorance of nonpigment folks.

It’s definitely time to AGAIN, speak up, speak out and take a stance for our culture. I always use those “Becky” moments as an opportunity to teach and I love the look of “Oh, you didn’t let me get away with being racist and ignorant.”

I appreciate the content of this article. Very timely. The writer (Erin Whitlock) has so much finesse in her writing style, while being able to describe an extremely sensitive situation. Thank-you for your work.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 03:07:28 +0000

I think that there are times to talk as a way to foster greater understanding and there is also a time to ignore silly questions.

In this day and age, there is very little that someone cannot learn about in the media (Black people do exist beyond BET). To ask people personal questions, whether that’s about their hair, their politics or their sex lives is a min. is in poor taste and at its worse shows a disrespect for the person to whom the question is directed—meaning that the sister should willingly dignify the question with a response.

If Becky is REALLY curious, she would read a book or surf the internet, and then perhaps approach a sister with an intelligent, well thought out question. These off the cuff…”I don’t know much about you guys and want the 411″ are irritating and frankly usually do little to dispel long held stereotypes— so why bother?

Smile, give a brief (but vague answer) and keep it moving.

By: Product Girl

Product Girl — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 06:23:53 +0000

Great Article.

By: Melinda

Melinda — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 03:17:26 +0000

The article was insightful and is a testimony to the zillions of random and daily thoughts that black women have when working within the culture of power. The bottom line is that white folks are nosy. Period. Particularly because they have the need to define and categorize to feel secure. They do it with each other so why should I expect anything different when it comes down to black women?

I agree with Candra; I like when Becky asks me about my hair because it can turn into an opportunity to educate the ignorant. If you are natural like myself…I find that YT are fascinated with your hair.

In a perfect world black people should be able to sit all white folks down at a school desk and teach them the history lessons that they need to know. But we know that’s not going to happen in our lifetime. So Yes! It’s annoying as hell, but I’ll take inquisitiveness over being stereotyped by yet another individual any day.

The only thing that Black women can do to demystify stereotypes is to transcend them. We cannot carry the burden of the black race on our backs and we also shouldn’t use white people as a measuring stick for success. To be your best self you do the following:

get educated.
travel.
think outside of the box.
read.
become an entreprenuer or at least learn how to make your money work for you.

Things that plenty of black women are getting done on a daily basis.

Kudoos to all my sistas who live their lives out loud with respect and dignity.

By: coco_fiere

coco_fiere — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 22:13:21 +0000

I do get tired of the Becky queries! I had a girl ask me if it was really true “you know, what they say about black men” and was confused when I said I didn’t know what she was referring to or what she meant. I get questions about my hair but it bugs me more when other sistahs say stuff like “Ooh, I hate you! Is that your real hair? What did you do to it to make it curly like that?”, etc. Why would you hate someone even jokingly b/c of hair? Usually, this line of questioning comes when my hair is still wet from the shower so it’s obvious I don’t do anything to it (even from ppl who’ve seen me and my hair since childhood). We come in all shapes, sizes, complexions and hair textures and we should know that even if Becky doesn’t. It makes me sad.
Becky is usually shocked to find that I don’t listen to Fiddy, don’t live in the hood (or have relatives in gangs–really), and actually went to college. I find this comes more often from the girls who are from lower-class Becky backgrounds who want to be what they perceive as “down.” They talk about their domestic issues (baby-daddy stuff, beating up other women b/c of their men, not being able to go in certain areas because “you know”–AND I don’t) like I, as a Black woman with no children, no drug-dealing bf, should be able to relate. The middle-class Becky will compliment me on my immaculate style, because I AM fly-lol, then look shocked when I say I got it from Nordstrom or someplace they think is exclusive. Then, they ask how I can afford whatever it is they’ve admired. Yet, they’re 22 and carrying a Balenciaga or whatever and I don’t ask that question. Maybe I should….

By: Tina

Tina — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 14:41:50 +0000

Becky asking about my hair doesn’t bother me anymore than sis from around the way putting her hand in it to see if it is mine. There is nothing wrong with their curiosity to me because it gives me the opportunity to dispel many of the stereotypes of us in mainstream. As a product designer that goes to many a meetup and design event often times I am the only woman of color in the room, not too mention with a twisted/cornrowed long mohawk of sorts that really stands out. No longer do I feel uncomfortable or care if they are looking and asking questions. It opens the door for me to question them about business opportunities and events to further my career, and trust..they are in the know. I let my fiery personality and naturally striking african american goodlooks work for me. So yeah I agree it is time to take back our images and I do that by being me, unapolgetically, including educating and answering questions about me and my culture. P.S. let them hear your playlist they are the main consumers “buying” music, let them support our artists. Great thought provoking article.