I remember that article, I think it was the one I wrote called the Quick Change Artist, which was based on my opinion that there are a few sisters out here who self identify themselves with their surroundings rather then being themselves in every avenue.

I do recall your stance on my piece, and I think all Clutch writers appreciate constructive criticism, but I think we and those who comment draw the line when feelings aren’t spared for the sake of spewing poisonous words. At least for me.

Although many of things I write may not be everyone’s truth, they are someone’s truth and come solely from my point of view. (which I never expect everyone who reads my pieces to chime in on and think you should like at everyones work here quite like Ms. Obercams read, “Just because I’m Black Doesn’t Mean I’m—- which we could easily be substituted for “Just because I’m Alaina doesn’t mean I think the world should agree with me or…”

I wrote this article as a request for Dede, but I also wrote it because I watch how Clutch readers attack the writers of pieces that it takes guts to share, and sweat to create, and those who share their opinion with ease only to be shot down by another’s missile.

I think the important thing for people to remember when reading articles like Sister Stop It, Natural Hair Natzi’s, Why I Don’t Give a S%$t About Amber Rose, Tiger Woods Piece etc, is that not everything you read is something that is meant to offend nor is it something that is always held firmly in the writers heart. What’s it’s meant to do is create conversation- words shared amongst sisters that can be given with respect for every party.

When I write for Clutch, I write with the idea that maybe someone who reads my work may understand what I’m saying, or may have experienced my story, but I never expect every hand on deck to recognize the words I’m sorry.

So, with the love that comes from people giving criticism to what they think me or anyone else should be writing, thinking or feeling, some things are better heard laced with honey and with an understanding, that this is what I have to say today, but maybe tomorrow there will be an opportunity for me to tell your story on the next piece.

With Love,

Alaina

With that said, I really hope that Clutch doesn’t discourage contructive criticism. I agree with everything this article has expressed, especially the part about ones carelessly interacting with one another. This article was a huge breath of fresh air because I was just reflecting on how women of other cultures have a feminine solidarity and us black women are like infants in that game tryna have some dysfunctional ass white women raising us.

can we really just boil it down to “stop it”?

Females “act” a certain way because it is either condone or it is look upon as what she should be doing: girls learn how to behave from the females around them, and what people SAY they should act: its a code that is never broken: if you say there is no code: then you are either lying to yourself or in the code and dont even know it

As females we get our personalities from the society we live around: as much as I WISH we could all “get along” and do the whole kumbaya bit: its not realistic.

Many females who typed: amen and i agree: are the same DAMN ladies who cant stand a certain female because the way this female: smiles, stand, sit, speak, or blink her eyes

I am so tired with the whole lets come together: its fake and again unrealistic………

While I will be Open for that day: i am not naive

A greater post would be: Let’s get to the root to WHY women hoot and holler: its way too complex and too deep

The closest a women could do to “stop it” is shutting their mouths or walk away from a situation….

sigh women will always be women

I will post this on Facebook and myspace.

Kudos Ms. Alaina L. Lewis, well said. You should write a book!

My husband (who is white) and I (part black) are opening up another business. It is up to me to hire the staff and take care of other things. I’ve narrowed the candidates for a couple of the top slots between an African American female and a white female and, for the other one, an African American female and an Asian.

My mother is part black, but not African American, and I adore her from top to bottom but all black women are NOT classy like her. I want so much to hire the African Americans but I AM SO DONE with my experiences of witnessing their messiness, attitudes, gossiping and being so angry and mean all the time etc. We’re running a business and making money, not trying to deal with neverending issues and attitudes and ghetto neck-swirling shit, and professionalism is a minimum.

I want to get over this and not feel like this cuz it is almost like hating a part of myself. I used to be so idealistic and felt people of color should network and hook each other up, and it makes me sad that I am not yet 25 and my lifetime idealism and open heart has been jaded.