Feature

Subpar Sisters

Thursday Jan 15, 2009 – By Natalie Nichols

You’ve seen them on the train, at the mall, maybe even in your office or school. The girl who needs a perm, the ratted out weave, or the sis who just always looks busted and disgusted. You want to help sista-girl get it together, but is there a tactful way to tell someone they look broke down?

How do you tell someone their look is truly busted? There is the obvious answer: you just come right out and say it. But only the truly crass amongst us have such little tact. In reality, it’s someone we know or like. We may go to school or church with them, it could be a co-worker, a distant cousin, or a friend’s neglected little sister. For this reason, your intention is not to inflict hurt feelings. People can be very sensitive when it comes to their appearance. To make matters worse, some people don’t know they look WRONG. Some people just don’t care what they look like one way or the other and how dare you critique that.

However, by helping some one reveal their outer beauty, you can help them to embrace and appreciate their inner. If you don’t have the chutzpah to come right out and say it, here are some ways you can get the ball rolling:

* Throw a makeover party and host a bunch of your favorite gals for a glam fest where everyone gets a full beauty treatment. Use your own camera and a tripod or hire a local photographer to snap shots of everyone dolled up.

* Bribe your own personal stylist or the hairdresser in your family with what ever they’ll accept; $50, lunch, everyone’s got a price. Beg her to hook up your friend with a much needed, more appealing “do.” Explain that it’s a severe case and a little charity work is like warm soup for the soul.

* Take the troubled target to your favorite mall beauty counter (I like Origins). Both of you can indulge in totally free makeovers by professionals. Insist that the make-up artist give her a look easy to recreate and maintain at home and encourage her if the outcome is a pretty and positive one. If she or you are so inclined, purchase a few of the products and together rock your refreshed faces.

* Stage an intervention. If you refuse to beat around the bush, don’t go at it alone. Gather sista-girl’s closest friends, family and associates. One by one explain why all of you decided to confront your friend about her appearance. Sometimes lack of style sensibilities isn’t the culprit. Deeper psychological factors could be at the root of why your loved one no longer cares how they look. If there is an issue discussing it can be the first step to recovery.

No matter what route you take, when all is said and done speak to the person one-on-one and explain from the heart that like Oprah, you only want to see them live their best life and exude their true confident self. No one can be mad at that.

Gerty W says:

January 24, 2009 at 8:54 pm

I think people have really misinterpreted the message of the article.
I don’t think the article is about looking like you are on the cast of Sex and The City. It’s about looking your best, however you like to dress, be it casual, feminine, Jimmy Choo or Target.

You can look great without having to wear designer threads.
We can sit up here and claim its not about looks but at the end of the day you are judged by how you present yourself. Would you show up at a job interview with holes in your shirt, hair undone, legs unshaven, etc.? Not if you want the job!

Being broke is no excuse of not looking your best. You can shop at The Salvation Army and still look great, let’s not get it twisted.

↑ Reply

JB says:

February 2, 2009 at 7:29 pm

I can relate. I am one of those subpar sisters at times. I still look decent when I can. One of my closest friends is fashion forward. She gets tired of her clothes real fast so most end up passed down to me. Sites like Freecycle always has people giving away clothes. When it comes to hair. I cannot style my hair(just yet) but I am having a time finding someone I trust to properly do it. So yea my hair looks jacked up alot until I find time and someone WITH talent to do it.

1HOTLEX says:

February 5, 2009 at 12:13 pm

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD BY SAYING SOME PEOPLE ARE SENSITIVE. I BELIEVE THAT IS ONE OF THE MAIN PROBLEMS WE HAVE TODAY. NO ONE WANTS TO ADDRESS AN ISSUE OR BRING UP A PROBLEM BECAUSE THEY ARE AFARID OF WHAT THE OTHER PERSON MAY THINK. I THINK HONESTY IS THE BEST ROUTE TO TAKE NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE DEALING WITH. THE ONLY THING ABOUT THAT IS YOU WILL HAVE TO DECIDE HOW TO ADDRESS THE SITUATION AND HOW TO TALK TO THAT PERSON. THERE IS A WAY TO BE HONEST WITHOUT BEING HARSH. MOST PEOPLE WALK AROUND LOOKING THE WAY THEY DO BECAUSE SOMEONE LIED AND TOLD THEM THEY LOOK GOOD. I FEEL LIKE THIS, I WOULD RATHER YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH AND HURT MY FEELINGS THEN TELL ME A LIE AND HAVE ME MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF….JMO.

February 5, 2009 at 12:15 pm

@ GERTY W…VERY GOOD POINT ABOUT ” It’s about working with what you have.” YOU CAN LOOK GREAT WITHOUT SPENDING ALOT OF $$$ BUT ULTIMATELY WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO IS CONFIDENCE!