Feature

The Flip Side of the Big Cup Size

Wednesday Oct 1, 2008 – By Ganeka Gray

IE141-043 Hooters, tatas, chi-chi’s, boobs, titties (or as Mr. Chappell would say, ‘tit-tays’), fun bags, lady lumps (shut up, Fergie), tiggo-bitties (thanks Mr. Kelly!), ninnies, jugs, milkshakes, pillows, melons, tee-tees . . . the list could go annoyingly on and on. So what is it about these fleshy mounds that seem to drive people wild? How is it that a part of the female anatomy that was given to us solely for the means of nourishing our babies can spark so much controversy and conversation? Since we know what the breast is and what it’s meant for, we can move a little further and talk about a different hot topic: “Is bigger better?” Aaah America, my home, land of the free, home of the brave, the place where you can get your burger triple-pattied, your fries super-sized and your mobile home double-wide, with this mindset it’s hard not to slip into the belief that the bigger something is the more fun you will have with it, but anything in excess can be a bad thing, ever heard the term “more than a handful and you’re in trouble?”

When I decided to write this story, I tried so hard not to make it personal, but being well-endowed myself, it was hard not to. I was at a point where I had been thinking about and researching breast reductions and from that day on I wanted to know if there were other women out there who struggled with the same issues I had on my plate, or should I say chest? Well either way, for the past year I randomly walked up to about 100 different women from many different backgrounds on the streets of New York, Seattle, Atlanta and Florida (tried not to scare them) and kindly asked them one simple question, “Can we talk about your breasts?” I never thought that women would be receptive to a stranger, but once we began talking and they saw that I dealt with the same things, they were totally open. The responses that I received from most of them I was all too familiar with already and they only led me to believe what in my head was already confirmed, that there is a flip side to having large breasts.

One young lady I came across while riding the train instantly caught my eye, a 29-year-old hair stylist from New York. Naeemah was very pretty, had a very small frame and very large breasts and she was the last woman that I would harass (clearing throat) I mean interview. Currently a 36 F she developed at a very early age, by the time she was in high school she was already a DD cup and when I asked her if she ever felt uncomfortable with her breasts it was as though I asked a fat kid if he likes cake. “I feel self-conscious about my breasts in professional, formal, and family settings. I feel like no matter what I wear I come off looking like I’m trying to be sexy, when usually all I can think about is how I wish my breasts were detachable because I would have left them home today,” she said. We also spoke about the unwanted attention and how annoying it can be. “A lot of men talk to my breasts, some women look at me like ‘does she have to walk around with her breasts so big?’ God gave me these…it’s not a fashion decision that I made while figuring out what to wear today.”

Society also has a way of making you feel that you should be grateful for certain things, large breasts being one of them. If you turn on the TV at any given moment you can see a woman with breast implants or one saying that she wants larger breasts. Many of the women I spoke with developed at a very early age and being a 12 year old with a full D cup can make anyone feel self-conscious. Later in life they were all told that they should be happy with what God gave them, and I’ve heard it all before from my smaller-breasted friends who tell me I should be out shaking “the girls” in people’s faces or donating some of it to them or having cleavage spilling out for everyone to see, but the attention comes no matter what, so drawing more attention to something that people already fixate their gaze on is not my intention.

Larger breasted women have different things to deal with: back pain, trouble finding clothes, bras, pretty lingerie, not feeling comfortable exercising and feeling like you look too buxom or that you’re trying to be sexy in just about anything you put on are all very frustrating things. Another thing that stood out was the fact that every single woman mentioned that at some point in her life she considered having a breast reduction, which is a very common procedure in America, according to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS), breast reductions fall in the top 5 cosmetic procedures performed annually. On top of that, there is always the attention that you receive from both men and women and while I don’t really blame either, it still can be an uncomfortable situation.

I myself will still look at mine as sort of a gift and a curse, because we are like old cousins who get on each others nerves from time to time. I would love to be able to frolic on the beach in my bikini top without the fear that I will get a black eye or give someone a heart attack, but that’s not my reality, however, I have grown to a point where I am much more confident in myself inside and out and I know that I am more than just a pair of tiggo-bitties (damn you Kells!), I’m a woman who has the right to make herself happier and more comfortable in her own skin if that’s what she chooses.

With all this being said, I also want to make one thing known, there are women out there who adore their large, voluptuous breasts and when I come across them it makes me happy to know that they love what they have and feel 100% comfortable with who they are. I have friends who are AA cups, have implants and who are G cups, as women we come in all sizes, shapes and colors and that’s why the world loves and appreciates the female body the way it does. Now everybody, together, lets burn our bras! (But can I save just one?).

Lish says:

October 1, 2008 at 10:22 am

AMEN AMEN…i mean they do make shopping hard…and we dont have pretty bras but I love my large chest!!!!

↑ Reply

esilenire says:

October 1, 2008 at 10:32 am

Bravo, Ganeka! I love how you tackled this issue! Although my double Ds don’t cause me back pain or other forms of physical discomfort, they have been a great source of social discomfort many a’day. But I found that investing in a good bra really does make all the difference . . . and staying away from Victoria’s Secret, too (the last thing a heavily endowed woman needs is more padding)!

gina says:

October 1, 2008 at 10:58 am

I’ve been a DD for 3 years now, thanks to a reduction from about a F/G cup. Honestly, I wish I’d gone smaller. Finding clothes is still difficult, as is pretty lingerie (why, Why, WHY do companies only think that sizes 28-36/AA-C need pretty bras?!). I keep trying to lose weight so I’ll finally be a D, or maybe, just maybe, the Holy Grail of cup sizes: a C.

Ivy says:

October 1, 2008 at 11:26 am

I find that buying really good bras make all the difference. Unfortunately, they tend to be a lot more expensive that buying Victoria’s Secrets etc. I have found some amazingly beautiful bras from England and Europe and they fit really well. I have definately enjoyed being well endowed a lot more now. I’m in a G/H.

Janelle says:

October 1, 2008 at 4:00 pm

YOU know I know how it is. Great write-up my dear. An Ode to the breasts-tststssttsssss.. however u spell that.

LibidinousSlut says:

October 1, 2008 at 6:32 pm

I am a 32FF. I have found my savior in Nordstroms. Not kidding. Beautiful bras, excellent support. Run.

Shayla says:

October 1, 2008 at 6:42 pm

Yes I love my 38DDD’s but I hate the fact that they are not perky!!!! In fact, I’m a virgin because of it because even though a man may like big boobs he doesn’t want them to sag! I need a breast reduction asap

Little Ninnies says:

October 1, 2008 at 8:11 pm

I can’t relate to you ladies, but small breasted women have trouble finding clothes that fit right too, or wanting to somehow wear an unpadded bra and still look like you got something under your shirt. The standards and expectations for a woman’s beauty are so demanding that it’s hard for most of us to ever be fully satisfied, there are the lucky heffas who seem to be endowed with a perfect body, but we gotta learn to love what we have and be thankful for whatever it is that God gave us whether it’s too much or too little or nothing at all, and that don’t just apply to breasts.

Naeemah says:

October 1, 2008 at 8:56 pm

Great story all around. You pretty much covered all this issues :-) It was the strangest thing anyone has ever asked me on the train but hey you gotta get your story girl lol.

Autumn says:

October 1, 2008 at 10:52 pm

This article touched home in so many ways. I underwent a breast reduction in 2003 and have been happily 5 pounds lighter on my chest ever since.

We should talk about this subject more often.

Niika says:

October 1, 2008 at 10:54 pm

i’m 32D recently 32 DD in some bras…i find bra and bathsuits are the hardest in finding my size … great story..even though sometimes i wish i have small breast i have learned to accept them …because let’s face it we do have the best cleavage with out even trying

October 1, 2008 at 11:21 pm

shayla ~ exercises like Chest Presses, etc help naturally lift up breasts…ive noticed a difference after working out especially using machines like the Chest Press and I recently read it somewhere so my belief has been confirmed.

Tina says:

October 2, 2008 at 1:28 am

Great analysis Ganeka. As a teen playing basketball daily I was happy to not have much going on up top. However as I matured, so did the “girls” and I am not mad at them, lol. Sure at times they get unwarranted attention and make me look a bit less wholesome than chick sitting next to me at church rocking the same wrap dress, but it’s me. My sistren pay more attention to the “girls” than dudes at times, but they are sitting pretty so I don’t blame them.

Ky says:

October 2, 2008 at 8:20 am

I feel each of you. I have had my “girls” since the 6th grade and im sure i have heard every name a man can make up for them. The women who dont have them swear i live the good life, if onl they knew how hard it is to shop for clothes. Especially when your tiny at the bottom and larger at the top. As much as I love my girls if someone were to walk up to me and offer me a reduction i would hop on that chance to bring my “dd girls” down to a bcup .
Great story

Alexandra says:

October 2, 2008 at 8:45 am

You’re damned if you have them and damned if you don’t. Being a A-cup isn’t that fun either. Because sometimes tops and dresses don’t look exactly right. But they do fit. However, I can get up and walk out without a bra and no one one would notice but at the same token guys really don’t notice. Everyone will always have something that they are self-concious about big or small tattas. So I have just learned to accept and be happy with what I have and make it work for me. I don’t think that people with smaller breast look at women with bigger breast with animosity or believe that they should cover up. If they have them girlz flaunt them because I know I would.

brainymama says:

October 2, 2008 at 10:41 am

Great way to get a convo going about the tit-tays! Like most of my friends who have large ones, I was 10 years old with a 36C chest. But somehow, I managed to letter in two varsity sports in high school even though they kept growing.

Now that I am 34 and a 38 G/H, I’ve given up wearing button-down shirts (never liked them anyway) and am willing to pay $$$ for those fabulous European bras. When I was pregnant with my daughter (now 4), I prayed that they would not get any bigger (although I think my husband was secretly wishing they would get bigger, but that’s for another time) and did some real research on big assed maternity bras! Thank the Lord they had them and the girls only went up a little.

After nursing for almost a year, and still having my baby fall asleep on mommy’s pillows, I look at the girls in a whole new way. Regardless of the catcalls, and feigned jealousy of friends, I embrace the big’uns ‘cuz they are part of me and no matter how much weight I loose, they have never been below a DDD in my adult life.

Shavonne says:

October 2, 2008 at 12:22 pm

Great Story..naeemah is one of my BFF’s and when she told me about this (after I laughed for a bit :)) I was happy that someone was addressing the issue…I, myself have large breasts (DD’s) and alot of people pay way too much attention to them..so sometimes I say its only skin and fat ..or when Im feeling sassy ..I say they are homegrown and my own!

The Last B-Girl says:

October 2, 2008 at 12:48 pm

As a big busted sister, I really appreciated Ms Gray’s article. I started wearing a training bra when I was in kindergarten and was harassed as a child by other kids. When you are that young you don’t always want to stand out from the other kids especially other girls. Growing up and having men of all ages starring at your breast can be unsettling at the most and annoying at the least either it effected the way I viewed myself. It also influenced the way I dressed and presented myself. I spent a lifetime doing what I could to avoid that type of attention. To finally learning how to embrace my imperfections, flaws and natural gifts but its not easy. Every once and a while I catch someone looking at my breast and once I get over the discomfort. I realize they cant help themselves. I got some great tits. If I was more vain, I would stare at them myself.

Thanks for speaking up for the big breasted sistas!

Ganeka Gray says:

October 2, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Hey everybody! Thank you soooooo much for leaving comments, it really makes me feel good to know that I wrote something that we can talk about and relate to, whether we have big breasts or not. I love hearing ALL of your experiences, some of them made me giggle too:)

Life is an interesting thing and it feels good when you find a common ground with people. Stay beautiful ladies and always love yourself no matter what;)

Elle Thompson says:

October 2, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Thanks for this article. I am currently a 38DD. At my smallest, I was a 34DD and when I was pregnant with my daughter and then nursing I went up to a 40F. I truly appreciate this article, especially since it highlights the problems big chested women have with buying clothes. I feel less alone.

Thanks.

krianne thomasson says:

October 2, 2008 at 9:39 pm

i understand fully. i am 16 years old with a triple d bra size and its as if i am not a girl to guys im like a sex object or something. i always have guys come around me flirting with me and at first i would think that they had a crush on me or something but as my boobs got bigger and bigger i relized that i was more of a fantasy than girlfriend material. i look aroud at all their small chested girlfriends and just feel left out sometimes. i even have girls walkin round callin me a whore and slut and i am still a virgin! but you know now i have just learned that girls are threatened and hell i would be too if my man was slobbin over some tittylisious girl but if they only knew how i felt they would actually feel sorry for me. but the good thing is i accept my self and like my boobs and actually when i cant do something because of them joke about them. its not something to be sad about cause hell i have girls wishin to be me… whats to hate?

Aunt Michele says:

October 6, 2008 at 3:13 am

Hi GaNeka, i’m SO VERY PROUD OF, AND SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU, AND, ALL THE LADIES, YOUNG AND OLD, WHO HAVE COME TO TERMS WITH THEIR BREASTS. ITS WHAT WE HAVE, PART OF WHO WE ARE AND THAT’S THAT! No more than we can do but so much about our derrierres. Some are flat, most sistas are not, some sit up and out, some sit high, some behinds are disproportionately large for whomever’s got one, but so what!! Whatever’s there, is there. Big, small; some consider theirs ”good”, some consider theirs not-so-good, and everything in between. I’m just happy to know that You’ve come to ‘embrace’ yours, and moreover YOURSELF, just for WHO YOU ARE AND WHOSE YOU ARE, A CHILD OF THE KING OF KINGS – LORD OF LORDS. THAT’S IT-THAT’S THAT!! AND YOU’RE DOING A GREAT SERVICE HERE WITH YOUR WRITING. KEEP ON WRITING. YOU ALSO HAVE A WONDERFUL, PRETTY, TALENTED, AND VERY, VERY INTELLIGENT HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, WHICH THIS IS THE PART OF THE ANATOMY THAT REALLY COUNTS, AS WELL AS YOUR GREAT BIG HEART – ANOTHER PART OF YOUR ANATOMY THAT REALLY COUNTS. SO WITH ALL THESE THINGS, YOU CAN’T LOOSE, SO DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL OR THE BIG STUFF. YOU’VE GOT IT GOING ON GIRL!! ALSO, I DON’T KNOW IF YOU YOUNG LADIES ARE AWARE, FOR THE FULLER FIGURE BUST, WOMAN, JILL SCOTT HAS COME OUT WITH A BEAUTIFUL NEW LINE OF COMFORT, SUPPORTIVE-FOR-OUR-BACKS & SHOULDERS, AND PRETTY BRAS, THAT ARE ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE REASONABLY PRICED AS WELL, THRY’RE CALLED THE ”BUTTERFLY BRA” BY JILL SCOTT. SO CHECK THEM OUT SOMETIME. MEANWHILE, GANEKA, I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED YOUR ARTICLE. AND, YOU WROTE ON A SUBJECT THAT NEEDED TO BE DISCUSSED TOO. {and in a most tactful genteel manner – good going!!
LOVE ALWAYS, AUNTIE MICHELE.

Erica says:

October 6, 2008 at 10:58 pm

i love my tig ole bitties! I’am a D cup and i love them! can’t keep my hands off em! oops I may have said too much! Great article! Viva Grande Tit-tays!

khaliah says:

October 7, 2008 at 11:52 am

i feel you ganeka :)

tremaine says:

October 7, 2008 at 7:31 pm

LOL… I’d be more than happy to burn a bra or two, but… Low and behold, my coworkers wouldn’t like the fact that I would be galavanting around braless… LOL. This was a great article, well written, funny, and relative for so many women.

Rashana Hooks says:

October 11, 2008 at 12:10 pm

Ganeka – you should have interviewed me!! – lol

I can’t buy buttoned shirts, halter tops or any of the other “regular” tops out there! I surely feel your pain.

MSJNT says:

October 12, 2008 at 6:36 pm

I had a reduction in 03. It was worth being free from the back pain, costly bras ( I had to go to a specialty shop for my size), and the headaches that tey causes. My Husband was on board and shortly after we separated. I think if men had big ole bitties that cause them the problems they would understand. When a man gets with a woman with big breast they think that they are theirs. What about breast cancer? I have seen women for go treatment cause what they think the man wouldn’t want them to get a mastecomy. A cancer breast is not cute! Take care of your breast for you, not for what men think!!

LadyJBoogie says:

October 13, 2008 at 5:31 pm

I too am a well endowed (36DDD) and I definitely view my breast as a curse. Yes I am comfortable in my own skin as I have had to deal with this since around age 15. Ironically I was a late bloomer and often teased for having a flat chest, which didn’t bother me. I have problems physically with carrying the weight not to mention one breast is larger than the other. Also I have the issues with not being able to wear most button up shirts as I am not a plus sized woman yet my breast are. I think the thing that I have issues with the most are the lewd comments and stares. As I stated I am comfortable I have accepted my fate, I can deal with restrictive bras, but it’s the behavior of adults that’s upsetting. Not only do I get comments from men it is women as well. At age 31 I am sick of it. I have tried unsuccessfully to get breast reduction after two doctor recommendations. I equate my breast to coping with a physical deformity. This is the way I was born and I can’t afford to change it. It is still no excuse to stare, touch or comment.

Megaciph says:

October 14, 2008 at 1:10 pm

As a man I can’t feel your pain or pleasure (no pun intended). I am happy you found comfort in yourself, and other women who have found comfort as well; it is too often that we as people aren’t comfortable with ourselves and must deal with all these other uncomfortable people trying to make us more uncomfortable.
Damn, it would be nice to just walk around naked, ca. 1400 Native Americans … we wouldn’t have all these physical hangups, that’s for sure. As a man I can honestly say free-balling is the way to go. So while we burn bras, let’s also burn the boxer briefs. One Love

Godiva1913 says:

October 16, 2008 at 10:55 pm

OMG–I am well endowed as well and I feel this article! I’ve had people cut their eyes at me and give me venom for dressing “normal.” Sometimes when I wear dresses or suits people accuse me of dressing too sexy. Please! I’ve come to a point in my life when I’m tired of trying to make people comfortable with my body just b/c of their insecurities and malfunctions. I have large breasts, I’ve learned to love them, and I’m not going to make myself uncomfortable just to make others comfortable.

Kia says:

October 21, 2008 at 1:08 am

How can you not LOVE them??? I am a G-cup, and I have loved every big-breasted moment. I come from a long line of big breasted women who hated their breasts. Maybe it is because mine didn’t come until I was about 15 and I PRAYED for them, but I don’t EVER wish they were smaller.

Sure, I have dreamed of going braless and that is out of the question, but there are sites that offer cute bras in large sizes, so I push them up and keep it moving. Sure they grab attention, but they pale in comparison to my personality, so they don’t interfere with my life at all.

I am 28 and married with three boys, and after I am finished having kids, I may get a lift, but I don’t want them a gram smaller.

So I say love them, squeez them, buy a pretty (large size bra), lift them up, put on a low-cut shirt once in a while, and walk into any room like you own it!

D-Ski says:

October 22, 2008 at 3:38 am

I will be 39 years young in November and me and my size 40H sized breast have made peace with one another. Hell to the No, it is not easy by any means carrying around what could be deemed as two three month old twins, but with the help of bras geared toward my size( girls, if you are more than a B cup, please leave Vickie Secret alone, get properly fitted and shop a a bra speacialty shop for heaven’s sake!) and also getting over the internalizing of OTHER folks ignorance……I embrace them.

Bee says:

October 22, 2008 at 11:39 am

I was a 36 DD by my freshman year in college and had grown to a 36G by my senior year. I was also frustrated with finding bras that fit appropriately and found a store named ” Dorne’” – on Georgia Ave in Silver Spring, MD
(for all those who live in the Washington Metropolitan Area) After battling for several years, I opted to have a breast reduction to alleviate the back pain and ugly dents in my shoulders associated with my growing breast. Standing at 5′4″, I was relieved to have the reduction but feared going any smaller than a D cup. Three years after my reduction, I have had my first child, successfully breastfed, and only grown to a DD, which I assume will decrease with the baby weight over time.

Matara Thomas says:

October 26, 2008 at 12:19 am

This article almost nearly made me cry!!! The thing is, I JUST finished looking at a pic of myself and my breasts were TAKING OVER the pic! It was just such a relief almost to read the familiar complaints and problems that I had, were shared. I developed at 12 and I’ve been self-conscious about my breasts all the time. Finding bras (pretty or otherwise) is hard because sometimes, they don’t hold enough or they make my breasts look too pointy (don’t you just hate that?). I’m definitely considering breast reduction for a number of reasons like back pain and being too top heavy!

hellifiknow says:

October 29, 2008 at 10:25 am

I love this article! Yes, I too am well endowed. I refused to wear bras w hen I was a 34C in the sixth grade, but now I thank God there are good ones out there. I definitely suggest that every woman get professionally sized and wear her correct size. You will have to spend more for your bras, but it’s worth every penny.
I have had mixed feeling and sometimes still do. I have gotten a lot of unwanted male attention but I’ve also gotten some wanted male attention. I did have a friend who had a breast fetish (well, what man doesn’t but his was extra!) but he truly helped me recognize that I should embrace my size and love it for the pleasure it can bring to me and [significant] others!
So at this staget of the game (in my 40’s) I might as well be happy with what I have and enjoy them as badges of feminine voluptuousness.

Lioness says:

November 3, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Thank you for this…I had Cs by the time I was 13…now DDD 36. It’s very hard to find a bra that fits perfectly…it’s a assumed that if you are a DD or higher, you must have a band at 40. I have a few ‘cheap’ ones ($40-$69…trust me, you don’t find any $9.99 specials in this size), but the one that fits me best broke the bank at $250 (ya, I know).

…and don’t even let me get started on buying tops, or dresses for that matter…I now buy dresses in plus size and pay extra to have them altered. Head shots are crazy because all you see is breasts, and you end up looking bigger then you are.

I’ve always wanted a reduction…in Canada, if it’s a medical necessity, insurance covers it. But because I’m 5′9, I have the frame to carry it.

In the end, I’ve learned to love my breasts. To be honest, they’re holding up very well…even I can’t help rubbing on them every once and while.

lex says:

November 4, 2008 at 4:57 pm

preach girl!
i am a 36 c and have been since i first got breasts. Its really cool to find out what everyones views and feeling are on the tiggo-bitty topic. I have a friend who is a 36 f and has to get her bra’s custom made. Since she is small framed it totaly throws off the way she buys her tops. she always wished she could just throw a shirt on and go…. I will def be fowarding this article to her.

keep up the good work girl!

Quida says:

May 9, 2009 at 7:15 pm

I’m just reading this article and Naeemah sent me the link. I have a small back and ginormous breasts that I inherited from the lovely women in my family. I appreciate this article as I definitely share a love/hate relationship with the girls.
I’m a 34K or 36J depending on who is measuring, so it’s a constant struggle for me. I’m still searching for the best bra.

Definitely appreciate the article, this conversation needs to be held more often. Thanks.