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What a Woman Wants

Saturday Nov 1, 2008 – By Rashana Hooks

200119183-001Someone once told me if you ask for what you want you just might get it. What they left out was that you must first believe you deserve it…

I often question why most women don’t ask for what they want and deserve. Unlike our male counterparts we seem to be fearful of expressing our true needs and desires. I’m not sure if it is the fear of rejection or the fear of actually receiving our requests that hinders us. Every time I think about it, I hear my mother’s saying: “When you know better, you do better.” Her reasoning is why I guarantee that if more women believed they deserved better, they will have better. That applies to EVERYTHING – including love, life and all the in-betweens. It saddens me that to this day society stills labels women who know and ask for what they want high maintenance, difficult, demanding, and my favorite, a diva.

As you read this article I want you to begin to evaluate the areas in your life where you know deep down, is not what you hoped for. It might be your relationship where you are not a priority but an option, or your job (not career) you report to everyday that is just good enough to pay your bills but not your passion, or your savings account you wished had a little more zeros in it to purchase that dream home you’ve always wanted. Whatever your desires may be, understand that in order to ultimately obtain what you really want you must have a feeling of entitlement. Because without it, your wants will never be your haves. Your entitlement will breed confidence and courage that will erase your fears and conquer your desires.

Ironically,the very act of asking for what YOU want is one of the hardest habits to start. You would think it would be as simple as one, two, three. But in reality it’s not that easy. It requires practice, skill, tailoring, negotiation and clear objectives. To prepare yourself for the grander wants, start out small and gradually work your confidence up. For example, the next time you are out dining at a restaurant and the host places you at a table you really don’t care for, ask for your preferred seating placement. Or when you go to the hairdresser and after the third wash you really want one more plus a special conditioner, ask for it. By practicing with these smaller requests you will get in the habit of satisfying your needs and realizing that if you don’t tell others what you want, you can’t expect them to know. It’s only when you begin to communicate your value and worth to the world that it will respond to you in a reciprocating voice.

Remember you teach people how to treat you, so educate them well.

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16 Comments – Add Yours

  1. This was a great article!

  2. “You teach people how to treat you” I LOVE IT!!! I’m going to have to use that. Thank you Rashana, this article was right on time!

  3. Shameka Shameka says:

    Thank you for this timely piece. I will definitely teach people how to treat to me.

  4. Shameka Shameka says:

    Thank you for this timely article! I will definitely teach people how to treat me.

  5. Sheryl Sheryl says:

    Very good article. Keep them coming!

  6. chichi chichi says:

    amazing article, need to really work that into my life

  7. tremaine tremaine says:

    I agree with ur points and also agree that if one is not vocal about their passions and wants then they are not easily obtainable. The hard part I believe is knowing when to ask and how. Great article, Rashana.

  8. bkmagnolia bkmagnolia says:

    PREACH on this:

    “It might be your relationship where you are not a priority but an option…”

    this is certainly a lesson it took me some time to learn. when i made MYSELF a priority, my station in my relationships was forced to followed suit. i ended those relationships where i was an option and the universe brought me one that made me the ONLY option. great advice here.

  9. LOVED that- well said!

  10. FT FT says:

    I love it…I learned the hard way, that no matter how hard I try I was never a priority in my relationship. I recently ended it (for real this time) after realising its a death trap, I will never be his priority no matter how much of a priority I make him. I definitely know better now so therefore I will do better and I will most definitely teach people how to treat me.

    Thanks.

  11. Angel C Angel C says:

    an infinite lesson! Great article!

  12. Great article, great website!

  13. Get Togetha Get Togetha says:

    Great article! I practice this everyday. No one knows your worth more than you do! Its up to you to determine what its worth!

  14. g. g. says:

    love – love – love this article! i have always felt the same way. thanks for sharing! ;)

  15. Jennifer Valentine Jennifer says:

    I love reading/re-reading this article, Rashana!

  16. Keli Keli says:

    Such a great read! I am a new reader to this site (already added to my favs!) and I am looking forward to reading the rest of material on this site.

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