A PSA from Sisterhood of The Played

They’re everywhere. Like the lion crouching in the plains seeking its next meal, the player is out there lurking, seeking his newest victim. If you are blind to the signs, the next casualty could be you. The desire for companionship, and the allure of physical affection may prove to be your weakness, and the player is highly adept in the areas of emotional exploitation. Regrettably, many of you may have already had unfortunate encounters with them, as they are a dime a dozen in our community.

Their true intentions are shrouded in their swagger or intelligence, along with an above average ability to fabricate.

They work hard to assist you in letting down your defenses, making you prone for manipulation. Their true intentions are shrouded in their swagger or intelligence, along with an above average ability to fabricate. A “good” player will tell you whatever they think you want to hear to acquire what they desire. Therefore, what better way to arm yourself, than to become aware of the tell tale signs of the player in your midst. Observe the following words of wisdom from Associated Content:

• He falls very fast and very hard for you. This at first is flattering. But think about it – is it normal? In a normal relationship, a man or woman moves at a gradual pace to “get to know” the other person. They will call up for a date, if the date goes well, they will ask for a second date. They will probably call you prior to the second date (they should, anyway, to make arrangements). But if they start calling or text messaging you every day after that first date, it’s not normal. Don’t be flattered, be wary.

• He asks too many questions about “what you want in a man/woman.” Someone might ask you this casually, to find out what you’re looking for, that’s fine. But when it becomes the Spanish Inquisition on the first date – look out. He is not interested in finding out what you want – he’s finding out what they have to pretend to be to “get” you.

• He or she runs hot and cold. One minute, they are ready to commit to you for life. The next, they are telling you to see other people. They are giving you a huge signal here but you have to be able to pick up on it. They want you to be there for them, but they want their freedom, too. That way, when they are tired of playing with you, they can always fall back on the fact that they told you that “you could have seen other people.” They will forget the times they committed to you. Or say they were only joking.

• They have too many friends of the opposite sex. The player likes attention, very much. But he can only feel gratified if they can get it from the gender to which they are attracted. These “friends” are usually people with whom the player has played but who haven’t had the brains to get rid of him. There’s nothing wrong with having friends of both sexes, but when a man or a woman has only friends of the opposite sex, it’s strange.

• They are cold or uncaring about a past relationship that they ended. Most people with a conscience feel bad about hurting someone’s feelings. The player will profess that they “hate” hurting other people’s feelings, but their actions will be completely the reverse.

• He becomes jealous or possessive too soon in the relationship. And in a normal relationship, anytime someone becomes jealous or possessive is too soon. The whole concept of having a relationship is trust. If this person doesn’t trust you, it means you can’t trust them. The player imagines that because he or she isn’t honest, the object of his game isn’t honest, either.

• They start talking sex too soon. This applies to a player who is a man. Don’t have sex with someone unless you are 100 percent sure that they love you and have professed it and aren’t seeing anyone else. This isn’t the way to go about “hooking” a man. It will only make you feel used.

• He has had too many “stalkers” or people who were “obsessed” with him or her in their past dating relationships. Stalking is a crime and not as prevalent as the player would like to believe. Sure, he could have met someone who was a little “off.” But to have too many people “obsessed with them” or “stalking” them is a sign that he or she played them and the victim just wanted to find out what was going on. Chances are, he or she, dropped the “stalker” like a hot potato, after he or she got done playing the game with them.

• Usually a player becomes a player because of gross insecurity. What do they do for a living? Are they happy with their life? Have they gotten over their past marriage or long-term relationship? Have they even had a marriage or long-term relationship? If someone is over the age of 40 and has never had a long term relationship, that’s a big red flag. They don’t want one. If a man or woman is divorced for 20 years and hasn’t has a relationship since, another red flag. They are content with the single life. They might try to convince you that you are “the one” to get the out of it, but in reality, they are perfectly content with the status quo.

• This is the biggie – you catch them in lie after lie after lie. A good player might have the brains to write everything down. But a bad one will just forget that he told you the night before they had to go visit a sick friend and when you ask about the friend they tell you that he or she is on a cruise. A player is not an honest person. In fact, lying is almost second nature to them. ***

As a final note, the player comes in many forms but they all have one thing in common – a deceptive mission to get whatever it is that they require from you with absolutely no regard for your personal well being. You may wonder how this individual could feign such warmth and affection, but therein lies the very essence of this particular breed of man: The player is not a fellow merely going through a phase, this is a man with a deep character flaw: Narcissism, for which there is no cure.