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Girl Leave Her Man Alone

Thursday Dec 24, 2009 – By La'Juanda "LJ" Knight

73266624 Girl Leave Her Man Alone is a book written by Dionne Mahaffey. It centers around women who sleep with another woman’s men and the reasons why. It also has a intent focus on women working together and building on a sisterhood where principles and morals would not allow a woman to feel comfortable enough to sleep with another woman’s man. It would be almost like breaking a code or law created and maintained by women. Hmm, I like it but is this possible? Although the idea seems noble the execution of it may seem futile to most. Extra marital affairs have been going on since the beginning of time. However, I applaud Mahaffey for speaking this theory of a woman’s evolution, so to speak into existence.

I also commend Mahaffey for her moral obligations because they seem to be very closely linked to mine. I would and have never knowingly messed around with another woman’s man. In my case the reasons were a combination of morality and egoism. I always felt like I was too fly to have to play second to any woman or to have to share. Why do that when I could have my own? I always felt like I was worth that and above having half a man. However, other women do not live by that code. Although I do see this as a two to tango situation, I like Mahaffey, have to also put a level of moral responsibility on the woman. Before you go with the “Girl! You trying to blame the woman like most women do” allow me to break it down for you. As a woman, you should know that some men are dogs and will cheat if given the opportunity. If only there were more women who did not offer themselves up to these men who they knew were involved. If the man has no one who will take him up on his fresh serving of sausage then what can he do but go home to his wife with his tail between his legs. Can you imagine the impact it would make if no woman agreed to give up the honey pot to an involved man? Men all around the world would be forced to stay home and spend their free time with their wives/girls/families. Aww, that’s too bad (laughing victoriously).

For example, what if instead of Alicia Keys agreeing to dating married Producer Swizz Beatz she obliged by the rules of sisterhood and said “Oh no buddy, no can do. I will not help you cheat on your wife. If you are unhappy with your wife and want to leave her then that is your personal choice but you need to make that clear to her and completely end things with her first. In fact, I refuse to date or see you in any kind of way until you handle whatever needs to be done with her in either direction. Sorry buddy. Take care of your home.” Leaving Mashonda no room to feel slighted by Alicia Keys or possibly her husband. This route would force them to have to ultimately do right. This is why I commend Mahaffey for this book. Although it does not take the responsibility away from the man it does remind the women of how much control they truly have. A fact that I think we often forget. I can recall an older man once telling me that women have no idea how much power we possess over a man. We just offer our power up to them on a platter to keep them around for fear that whatever we do not oblige to, another woman will. Here is the key, what if there was not another woman that would because we were all on the same page? This is the teaching that Mahaffey offers.

Some may see this post as unavailing because they believe that there will never come a day when women around the world can come together and agree that they see assisting a man in cheating on his wife, breaking up his home, and perhaps ruining another person’s life as morally degrading to them and therefore something that they simply will not do. They will in turn leave comments like “girl please!” and insist that I am trying to place blame on the women, therefore missing the whole point of my entry and blah blah blah. Sigh. I know this and I am sure Mahaffey does too. There is always wishful thinking.

Peep Mahaffey discussing her book here:

For more of La’Juanda “LJ” Knight check her out @ yeahshesaidit.com.

Amber says:

December 24, 2009 at 3:38 pm

“Can you imagine the impact it would make if no woman agreed to give up the honey pot to an involved man? Men all around the world would be forced to stay home and spend their free time with their wives/girls/families.”

I disagree. Just because he can’t get it from someone else while he’s in a relationship isn’t going to keep him around! What’s to stop him from breaking up/divorcing? I’m not condoning cheating, but some men aren’t out there cheating solely for sex. Think about it.

↑ Reply

Rhuebekah says:

December 24, 2009 at 8:01 pm

i love this article!!!! lol my younger sister and I were just talking about this yesterday! We totally agree…. I’m going to go buy this book pronto!

Ada says:

December 24, 2009 at 10:17 pm

@ Amber

It may end up being the case that the guy may just decide to divorce or break up with the person even if they don’t cheat, but I would say breaking up where a 3rd person has not been involved in such a decision is prederable. Cheating on your significant other is plain disrespectful and insensitive to the person who is unaware. No matter how in love I was if my boyfriend wasn’t capable of reciprocating the same kind of love, I’d rather him break up with me than cheating on me. It’d hurt but at least he wouldn’t have turned our relationship into a lie and hurt me even more when the truth comes out.

aaron says:

December 25, 2009 at 2:12 am

good post, im a man and i agree

honey says:

December 25, 2009 at 3:50 pm

i think that sometimes having a 3rd person involve actually helps the marriage.
esp if the problem is sex/physically related.. I mean i know for a fact that i made it very clear to this man that i am not gonna be his wifey, clean his laundry or do all that kind of stuff so…it is what it is.. some times you cannot get it all from one person and sometimes you need a reminder of what matters more right. if wifey give 80% but not the 20.. then it is what it is. do you want to have the house, last name and ‘security’ or do you want to see him on the good days, laugh, have fun and owe each other nothing? um something to think about right… no one is on the same page both men and women that is why these things happen. i think it is impossible to love and choose without someone getting hurt somehow or somewhere…

Rana says:

December 28, 2009 at 5:29 am

All I can say is WOW… Someone finally had the courage to say what I have been screaming to my girlfriends for the last year. It is up to the WOMEN to put an end to this nonsence… One girlfriend chastized me saying oh, you can’t be mad at the woman, if the man doesn’t care, why should I? Another one said, men lie and we can’t be held responsible. I disagree. If you get with a man without knowing all of the details, then you are responsible. Yes, men do lie, so it is up to you…the woman, to decide if he is worthy of you giving up the cookies… A man can’t hit unless you open your legs. Once you find out he is attached, it is your MORAL obligation to your “sex” to not engage in this type behavior. Women have no idea how much power we possess. We are the reasons men go after their careers, strive for power, and fight the wars. This was the best article I have read in a long time. I have two women in particular I am going to mail this article too and maybe buy them a copy of the book. Sarah and Atiya, it’s on its way to your houses.

December 28, 2009 at 12:19 pm

I had a little more on my mind…First; I didn’t want you guys to think I was just speaking without first hand knowledge of “girl leave her man alone”. In Atlanta, it’s the worst kind of treachery. There is a woman here that owns a popular boutique…I shopped there personally dropping hundreds on her unique styles. I shopped there so much she knew me by name. She often called for sales, specials and discounts. At one time, she was trying to get her name out as a stylist there and needed help with promotion. The person I was involved with is in the film industry and I thought I could help. I introduced her to my guy and he threw her some names and work… Long story short, after that, she went on a date with him, flirted, and would text (all hours of night) him over the course of years as I still shopped in her store. He ain’t sh*t, I know now, but for the purpose of this article…what about her??? How could a woman look me in the face as I came in her store and bought clothes? Sending customers her way, coming to events??? Knowing you were trying to get at my man…THAT IS SOME DIRTY stuff. But I could put her name and store out on this site, but you know what, I am not… What goes around comes around. I just wanted you all to know how women are…
Second…To “honey” who said that sometimes a third person can help a marriage… Hmm… To me it sounds as though you have been hanging with Angelina Jolie or you don’t know your own strength as a woman. Why would you ever want to be second or third to anyone? That type of theory only works in ancient times where there was a KING and he had multiple wives that he could “afford” to take care of. He had one head wife that chose the concubines or second wives. The premise here is he had a Kingdom, not a 9 to 5. All the women were in one house hold and the KING took care of all of them well. No man can run a household with his wife and then try to run another across town. It won’t work… The side chick will get frustrated that she isn’t first. Eventually she is going to want more. So unless we are reverting back to ancient Africa, then these men need to stop.
Lastly, as a to women who think it’s okay to be a side piece, I would implore you to think of your sister if you have one or your aunts, and own mother. Would you want any of them to be treated like that by another woman? Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes.