We Love: Lyrical Malarkey’s “The Book of Tyra”

You don’t have to tell us that Tyra is fierce and pretty much everyone knows she’s not shy about telling others how fierce and fab she is either. With that being said, you have to check out Lyrical Malarkey hilarious “book” (well… list) of how Tyra Banks, her fierceness and everything else was created. Check out the first 15 below…

1. In the beginning Tyra created the heaven and the earth.

2. And the earth was without a runway, and void of all fierce colors and outfits; and improper lighting caused darkness upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Tyra worked the runway upon the face of the waters, striking fierce poses at each step of the way.

3. And Tyra said, Let there be lighting: and there was lighting, and stage hands, and production assistants.

4. And Tyra saw the lighting, that it was good, minimized her imperfections, and made her eyes smile: and Tyra divided the light from the darkness to ensure fierce day and night photos.

5. And Tyra called the light Tyra, and the darkness she called Naomi. And the evening and the morning were the first days dedicated to the Spirit of Tyra.

6. And Tyra said, Let there be a makeup studio in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the women at the counters of Macy’s from the female-like men.

7. And Tyra made the makeup studio, and divided the cosmetologists, which were under the firmament, from the make-up artists which were above the firmament: and it was so.

8. And Tyra called the firmament the CW. And the evening and the morning provided Cover Girl lighting.

9. And Tyra said, Let the models under the heavens be gathered together before me unto one place, and let the has-been judges appear before them behind a desk: a living legend, feminine black man, and Indian man with odd teeth: and it was so.

10. And Tyra called the dry land the judging room; and the gathering together of the models she called “(insert number) of you stand before me”: and Tyra saw that it was good.

11. And Tyra said, Let the earth bring forth photo shoots, ridiculous props, and small mammals as accessories, and it was so.

12. And the earth brought forth modeling opportunities, photo sets, and ANTM, whose seed was in itself, after her kind: and Tyra saw that it was good.

13. And the evening and the morning were the third day; for the Spirit of Tyra to airbrush pictures that did not reveal her gadunkadunk.

14. And Tyra said, Let there be lights in the heavens to divide the day shoot from the night shoot; and let them be for magazines, and for commercials, and for Cover Girl:

15. And let these lights in the firmament of the heaven give light upon the set: and it was so.

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The list doesn’t stop here! Click here to read the rest @ Lyrical Malarkey!