200187588-001Chris Rock said it. Loud and clear. In that patented high voice on the HBO Comedy Special “Bigger and Blacker.”

“A man is only as faithful as his options.”

Day after day, hour after hour, women all around the country query themselves about the fidelity of men–or lack thereof. Research shows that infidelity rates hover around 55-65 percent, and if you are talking to various participants in relationships, the percentage may be higher. According to the theory of Rock, Dwyane Wade and Denzel Washington (both of whom are married) have a harder time staying faithful than somebody like, let’s say, me. This is a discouraging statement for the ladies out there, because the ladies would much rather have a D Wade than a Z Clay.

Self deprecation aside, it is safe to say that men with more females coming after them are more likely to cheat…not necessarily. On the surface level this may make sense, but if you take into account the type of person you are with, then you will see cases where this is simply not applicable. For example, a gentleman who has in him instilled a strong sense of respect and love for his woman can withstand more coquettes than the guy who has been developed with a “sex equals power, and I want all the power” mentality. Being that this is true, then the problem of infidelity goes beyond “options.” The problem lies with women not realizing the character of the person that they are dealing with before they are with them.

Women have to be aware of this. The best telltale sign is to notice how a guy handles female attention while he is single. This will require a little digging. You may have to be a friend to have this kind of insight. Ah… that f word again, which is so commonly used as the ideal prerequisite for the male-female union, but equally overlooked. These days, lust supersedes foundation, and in most instances, the solid turns into a liquid as soon as the gas is introduced. When solid is not the essence of a new relationship, then a chance is missed to see who the person really is, thus robbing you (ladies) of the opportunity to gauge future constancy.

Women, don’t let the train pass on that opportunity. A paradigm shift may be needed to circumvent the prodigious amount of cheating going on. Shifting from the mindset of exclusive emotionality (when approaching the relationship) to rationality will aid in this regard. It is at this cerebral state where the ability to discern bull…nonsense, is optimized. With optimal discernment, the guy who stands firm in his commitments will emerge in your life, and your heart is sparred heartache. Of course, there are exceptions to this. Men sometimes come that stealthy. But for the majority of the Y chromosome, we aren’t that slick.

Faithful men are made before the relationship. Relationship conditions holds paramountcy as well; but the choice is ultimately up to the male. No women. No circumstances. It is up to the male’s character.

And just because you have a faithful man, it doesn’t make life much easier. Faithful men are the ones that attract the most females anyway. Isn’t it weird how life works?

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