The dating game is getting hard. There are so many of us who are beautiful, funny, educated, grounded, artistic and well-versed on many subjects, but for some reason most of us are still waiting for Mr. Right to walk in to our life. That is why your sisters at Clutch have decided to get to the root of this problem by talking to single men and women! At the same time highlighting them, while letting them vent on why they are single.
Name/Alias: Chanda J.
Q: So Chanda . . . why are you single?
I think it’s because I am not in the place I want/need to be to attract the person that I would like to be in some kind of relationship with.
Q: When was your last relationship, and how long were you two together?
2002, too long . . . phew . . . that was six months I won’t get back!
Q: What do you look for in a man?
Ambition, confidence, generosity, sincerity, kindness and honesty.
Q: What turns you off?
Cheap people, slow people, liars, people with no sense of humor.
Q: When on a date—do you foot the bill or do you go dutch with your date?
What’s dutch? I have been known to do the “look for my wallet fake-out.”
Q: Where do you usually look or run into potential date material? (club, work, library)
I would say any where I am.
Q: Have you ever dated outside your race and did you notice any differences? If so, what?
No, but I once dated a guy whose mom was from Honduras . . . does that count? No differences—he was a regular Negro.
Q: As a Black woman, what do you love about Black men? Is there anything you don’t like?
I like their self-confidence, brown skin and their all-around swagger. I think whatever I don’t like would be an individual thing . . . I wouldn’t attribute to a race of people.
Q: When you think of black men—what are the first three things that come to mind?
Strong back, ready to carry the world on their shoulders, sexual chocolate
Q: Do you have any physical requirements for a man? (weight, body type)
Taller than me is always good. I like nice bodies, but chunky guys need love, too.
Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Q: How important is sex to you ?
Honestly, it’s not that important. I’ll take forplay over sex any day.
Q: What advice would you give to a woman that’s single?
I would say enjoy being single, you are in that “place” for a reason.
Q: In your opinion, what makes a woman want to settle down?
The idea of wanting to be part of their own family unit. Wanting to feel safe and secure. And of course dating does eventually get old.
Q: Do you want to be attached? Or are you still in your having fun phase?
If the right person came along who could hold me down, I wouldn’t mind being attached, but in the meantime I will have fun!
Q: Are you a woman scorned?
Nope, well at least I hope not.
Q: Do you think the reason you’re single is because of unrealistic standards or possibly your personality?
How can one’s own standards be unrealistic? I believe in standing by my convictions and holding out for the real thing. No one should pressure you into lowering your standards; they should come up to meet them or keep it moving. My expectations/standards are not unrealistic. They are the basic things that everyone should strive to be (honest, generous, kind to others, etc..). No one knows me better than me; I know what I can deal with and what I cannot.
My personality probably does play a role, because it dictates that I look out for Chanda first and foremost and a lot of people can’t accept that. I have a strong personality and some people can’t handle that either. But I have no intention on changing it, because I like it and besides I’ve had it since I was two years old!
Q: Are you accepting date proposals?
Sure . . . why not?
If you are interested in learning more about Chanda please email us at [email protected]